Saturday, December 31, 2005

Buon Natale E Felice Anno Nuovo A Tutti!!!

The above means "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you!!" in Italian. Greetings from Rome! I don't have time to write much now, because other people need the computer. So that's all.


Thursday, December 22, 2005

Christmas Break Part III

So the rest of Wednesday was a lot of fun.

Background: I met Libby when we were three; we met because our brothers were in the same Kindergarten class. Our moms met (Sue is Libby's mom). Anyway... Sue and my mom are still really good friends and Libby and I are still friends. So Wednesday night we had our annual Christmas get together. Libby pointed out the fact that we used to go to Bob Evans for dinner. This year we went to Tosi's - for those not in the St.Joe area, it's a super nice Italian restaraunt in town, where the cheapest entree is $18. So yeah, that was a lot of fun. I bought Libby some Alliance World Coffee (Costa Rican) for her, and some coffee mugs. She got me a yummy apple cider candle and Willy Wonka. (So yay r'neighbor now we can watch it whenever!)

Then today I almost finished the second book for my reading course. I have two chapters left.

And I talked to Christy on AIM a lot.

And I played on the 'net, went to some fun sites, googled some names. I think the best, for all you AU students out there, is to put Spencer Spaulding in quotes, and then click "I'm feeling lucky"

Then Krista and her sister and I watched Fantastic 4. It was kinda dumb, but still entertaining.

And Brittany (her sister) gets the quote of the day. There was some holly leaves on the blanket I was using and she said, "Hey Holly. What's on that blanket? Holly like whoa." and then she cracked herself up, which is what made it so funny.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Christmas Break Part II

So on Monday I didn't go shopping. But I stayed home and made the sugar cookies. Then when my mom got home from work, my grandma came over for dinner and then the three of us decorated the cookies.

Yesterday I went to my mom's school to visit. The kids all come from bad homes, like half their parents are in prison. One boy told my mom "my dad is in prison for attempted murder. But he didn't acutally kill anyone, it's just attempted."

When I went a kindergartener asked me if I drove with donut tires on my car. I didn't even know what a donut tire was when I was that young.

Anyway, then I went shopping and got a lot of stuff done. And came home and read a lot of the above book, which I've been reading for my independant study.

I finished the book this morning. Didn't like it so much. The first couple chapters were not challenging at all. Basically she was saying that a woman after God's own heart needs to spend time in prayer and reading the Bible. And I thought to myself, "well, yeah." So then I kept reading hoping it would get better. She wrote four chapters on how our husband needs to be our number one priority. Then four chapters on how our children are our second priority. Then four chapters on how our home is our third priority. Two chapters on our own spiritual growth (outside of Bible and prayer) as 4th. And ministry as the 5th priority, and others as 6th.

She was very redundant throughout. And while I agree that our priorities should be God, our husband, and then our children, I don't think it needed to be to the extent that she said. She even said at one point that if a friend in need calls and your husband is home, to tell the friend to reschedule for a time when your husband is not at home. I think that your husband can be home and you can be on the phone with a friend, and still have your husband be your priority.

It was definately written for wives and mothers, and so it was hard to read it as a single child-less college student.

And I think she put way too much emphasis on "making the house a home." While that is important, I don't think she put into consideration that not every woman is wired in a way that they can stay home all day, or that different women have different spiritual gifts and different personality styles.

So yeah.. those are my thoughts on that book.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Christmas Break Part I

So... I did not end up surprising my mom at the school. The girl Sara had to check out took like an hour to get her stuff packed up. Then, because the roads were kind of bad I went a different way home than normal and missed a turn. So it took forever to get home and by the time I got here my mom was home from school. But I still surprised her by being home a day early.

So Friday night my mom had a Christmas party to go to and I just stayed home and did some laundry and watched T.V. It was relaxing.

Saturday we took the train to Chicago to see my brother and the Christmas decorations and to do some shopping. I did not buy anything, but my mom picked up a gift for John (my brother). Fun times. We got home around midnight.

Yesterday my mom and I made three types of Christmas cookies: Church Windows (if you don't know what these are, you're missing out. It's mini colored marshmallows rolled up in melted chocolate chips and coconut shavings. Very yum.) Corn Flake Wreaths (basically rice krispie treats, but with cornflakes and green food coloring, and wreath-shaped). And Gingerbread Men. I think they turned out really cute - we haven't made them in years. I might take a picture. Sorry, no gum drop buttons.

Later in the day Krista and I went to Steak-n-Shake for dinner, then we went back to her house and watched Spiderman.

Today - so far I ate breakfast and made sugar cookie dough. But it has to chill. So I'm about to get ready for the day (shower, etc) and do some shopping for my grandparents.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Home for the Holidays

Ahhhh.... Christmas break. If Stacy is reading this right now she's probably thinking "Wait, I thought you left already." Well, kinda. I packed up my car and left the apartment a little after 9. I told Sara I would pick her up around 10 (from on campus). But I had to pay Tri-S and drop off some tupperware to Janet (my co-worker) and while I was there I said bye to the babies. Then Sara called and said she needed to wait until after 10 to make sure everyone was checked out (she's an RA). So yeah... I also had to give Beth her coffee grinder back (she works in the library) so then I decided to come in the lab and look up some directions.

I know how to get home. That's not what the directions are for.

My mom thinks I'm coming home tomorrow. She works at an elementary school (a small K-8 with like 80 students) and she keeps asking me to come visit. So I'm gonna show up at the school unannounced.

Yay for surprises.

Monday, December 12, 2005


I just returned from something I terribly needed. Today I had to turn in a take-home final, and on my way back I was walking through the Church of God campground that lies between campus and my apartment. It was in this moment, surrounded by His wonderful creation that I was reminded.

As I walked, I noticed the trail I was leaving behind in the snow. I thought of snow, winter, and Christmastime. I thought of memories of Christmas past. I thought of the pain of Christmas now that it is tainted by my father who chose a life seperate from my mother. I thought of suffering. I thought of the cliche that Christ has been where I am. I was reminded that, though Jesus never dealt with the divorce of Joseph and Mary, it was on the cross that he experienced all of my pain, all of my sufferings, all of my sin, all of my shit.

(If that word offended you, then you are not focusing on the point of this entry.)

I don't understand how Christ being beaten, mocked, and hung on a piece of wood can cleanse me of all that is wrong in my life. I don't have to understand. I just have to know. And in that knowing, I rejoice.

Today I encountered the suffering Christ. It was ugly. It was beautiful. It's funny how often in Christianity those two collide

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

Proud to be an American?

The United States is the richest nation, or at least one of the richest.

In 2003, fourteen countries (including the U.S.) gave an average of 0.41% of their GNI (gross national income, I think) to Development Assistance (for developing countries). the 0.41% saying that on average, each country gave 0.41% of just their GNI, not that the countries gave 0.41% of the combined GNI's.

0.41% - that doesn't seem like a whole lot to me.

And you know what else? Guess what country gave the least percentage? Why, the U.S. of course, with a whopping 0.13%. Way to be 0.28% below the average.

Website of the day -

Tuesday, December 6, 2005


Well, in the past 24 hours I have accomplished more work than I anticipated, and I got more sleep than I thought I'd be able to have due to the amount of work. And not only that, but I've already been awake for 13 hours (note the current time: 6:16pm) and that is on 4 hours of sleep (went to bed at 1am woke at 5am). And I still have more energy than you would think. Granted when I woke up this morning I made a 8-cup pot of coffee and consumed all of it within two hours.

And yes folks, it is true; my roommate, Stacy, has been alive for 22 years as of today. Yay for my favorite r'neighbor and her birth

Sunday, December 4, 2005

Organic Ministry

Tonight was amazing. A group of 9 of us met at Matt's house to just talk about how God is moving in our lives and in our passions. I came not knowing what to expect of the night. I left not knowing what to expect of God, but knowing that is okay.

Loving the family "black sheep". Massage therapy for AIDS victims. Writing and sharing music. Nairobi. Community. Social justice photography. Community. Confronting and loving family. Giving. Finances. Claiming authority. Direction. Leadership. Writing. Passion. Speaking through art. Nairobi. Maternity shelter. These are just some of the things discussed.

The beauty of it all is that we are now accountable. Cherie is accountable to spend time with her uncle. Amanda is accountable to write music. I think most, if not all of us walked away with something tangible. The other amazing thing is how God rises up individuals who share the same passions. That is how Bound4Freedom started. That is how the Nairobi group started. I mentioned Social Justice photography. Rae mentioned social justice through art and photography. We're both scared and unsure of where to go. But we have each other to share that with. And we learned there are at least two other people in our church community interested in the same thing. We can talk to them and at least start talking. That's how it all gets started. It's ministry. It's organic. It's a community that allows individuals to say, "hey this is what I'm thinking" and then take it from there. It's not a communtiy that says "hey I this is what I'm thinking" and then calls people to join it. I don't know if that makes sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me, and I think it makes sense to those in my community. I love it. I so needed tonight. I'm so grateful for everyone who was in that room. I'm going to talk to Rae and Mac and Dale.

Saturday, December 3, 2005

"I Celebrate The Day" by Relient K

I posted this last year, but it's so amazing so I felt like doing it again this year.

With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let you know
How much you've touched my life because
Here is where you're finding me
In the exact same place as New Years Eve
And from the lack of my persistency
I'm less than half as close as I wanna be

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I've felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That you have come to meet me here

To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me
And the hope that
That you give
That you were born so I might really live
To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me…

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever

And I
I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Failed Attempts

First failed attempt: the all nighter did not happen. I did get some stuff done, but at 3 am I decided to stop. I wasn't really exhausted at that point in time, but still. I realized I could sleep and get stuff done during day time instead of the other way around.

Second failed attempt: society, media. Last night (or this morning) when I did go to bed I turned on the T.V., because I like to fall asleep to noise. I flipped channels for something sleepworthy (like music videos or something) and paused when I saw a commercial singing "Silent Night" that had pictures of babies sleeping. It was so beautiful. It ended up being a commercial for Pampers. The end of the commercial was just a black screen that said "Peace on Earth". So why a failed attempt? Because the very next commercial was one for America's Army video game.. a video game based on the U.S. Army, where the commercial shows screenshots of the game with soldiers choosing their weapons and killing people.

On that note...

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

All nighters and the never empty coffee pot

"I have boogers in my nose, whoo hoo boogers, boogers, boogers." I just sang that out loud.

So yeah.. I think that November 30 is pretty dang good to be the first all nighter of the semester.

It's fun though... because I just got the caffeine kick from my first cup of coffee, and Jen's pulling an all nighter too.

And it's fun because Stacy started PMSing today and so she's very angry about things. Like her printer just ran out of ink so she is complaining that she'll have to wake up early to go print it off on campus before her class, when really that would only take 5 extra minutes. And her class isn't until 10. Now she just walked back into the living room with an evil look in her face and said, "do you guys have any change? I have a penny. It's a lucky penny, but it's not enough." But she said it with such HATRED!!! Now she just left saying, "I gotta look for that dime..."

Monday, November 28, 2005

Thanksgiving Break, Part III

So... Saturday night I believe is when I last updated. Went to Pishy's and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with her, Chris and Katie. Looked at C&K's wedding pictures - they turned out really nice. Uhh... spilled pop on Holly's floor came home and slept. It thundered. So much for the blizzard we were supposed to get a few days before. Today we (mom, grandma) went to Chan's Garden... yay for the best chinese ever! I brought some back with me. Then I got Spitty and we left. Came home and decorated the apartment and then roomies and I went to WalMart. Not too exciting, but it was a good break.

Oh... classes. Three more weeks. Then about 4 1/2 months and I'm done forever. I hope.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Thanksgiving Break, Part II

Thanksgiving day. Well, that night before I tried going to bed after updating this thing. I woke up at 2:30 am because it was so freakin' windy. Then I fell back asleep, but woke up again at 5:30am. So I knew at that point my mom was up (she always gets up around 5) and so I went down to the family room. I read for awhile and then started to get sleepy again and so I slept some more from 7:30 to 10:30. Then I helped get stuff ready for dinner and went and picked up my grandma.

Thanksgiving dinner: Mom, John (my brother), Grandma (mom's mom), Aunt Jan (technically my grandma's niece) and Uncle Frank (Jan's husband). It was good. We had the typical food (my favorite? cranberry relish). And then A. Jan and my mom and I played scrabble. I lost. Aunt Jan won.

Thursday night I convinced my mom to put up our Christmas trees. No lights or anything, we just put them up. Yes, it's pluarl (spelling?); we have one for the family room and one for the living room. Then we watched "White Christmas"

Friday - no shopping for me! I hate how crowded and crazy it is for all the sales, though the sales are good. So I spent the majority of the day with my mom getting all the Christmas decorations up.. well, most of them anyway. Then I went to Chocolate Cafe with Holly and Krista, then we saw Holly's klong yaw, which I played, it's a cool thing. And then we got Chris and Katie (yeah, they're married, what what?) and we all went to Steak 'n' Shake and then Meijer and then to Chris's parents' and watched something on National Geographic about exorcisms. Hmm. Bed at 2:30.

Today - finished the rest of the decorating. Lunch and WalMart with my mom and grandma. Got some groceries and some gloves. I wonder how C.S. Lewis would feel about the fact that there are Kleenex boxes with Chronicles of Narnia on them. Hmm... I have one, only because it came in a set of three, and the other two were non-Narnia boxes, and my mom didn't want the Narnia box. Hey, free tissues. We just watched "Because of Winn Dixie." It's basically one of the cheesiest movies ever, but my mom wanted to see it.

Sorry for the long post.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Thanksgiving Break, Part I

Last night was amazing. Went to the church with Rae, Ray, Erin, and Tim and started two journals. Saved Rae from disaster when she ran out of gas. Took crazy pictures with Christy. Crocheted while watching Along Came Polly with Christy. Went to bed at 2:30am.

This morning my cell phone woke me up when someone called me. It was Sara Spitters at 9:45 am telling me she was ready whenever I was. Apparently I forgot to turn my alarm clock on last night. So I looked out the window (as she told me to) and I was amazed by the fact that basically I was inside a snowglobe. It was beautiful. So I threw my stuff together and we went to Starbucks and headed home! Christmas music the whole way! It was amazing. Sara is amazing. Apparently she thinks some guy named Jonah is amazing. I think he thinks she's amazing too.

So then I came here and my mom and I had dinner and I crocheted some more. And then Krista and her grandma knitted while I sewed the book for B4F and then crocheted and we watched In America. Such a good movie.

Home. I agree with Nathan Parliament again. Is it fair for me to call St. Joe home? It feels like home when I'm here, at least to some degree. The house feels like home (though there have been drastic changes in wall color to one room and a new couch when I don't remember not having the old). Nathan said in the past 52 weeks he's been "home" for maybe 4 or 5 of them. I thought about it. I came home for Thanksgiving last year (5 days maybe), Christmas break (minus Jamaica was about 10 days), the weekend of my birthday (3 days), Easter (4 days), Mother's Day (3 days), a wedding (2 days), and fall break (1 day). 28 days. 4 weeks. The length of February.


I forgot how loud the trains are here.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Sestina (American Darwinist)
by Nathan Parliament

Mother quietly said, “God bled to heal.”
(She hoped my mended body might speak truth
and new veracity could free me of this dizzy wheel
as it tramples its way down busy streets
that would lead me astray far from the field
where God and my heart meet and stand still.)

What would I give to just breathe and be still?
I'd lose arm or leg. With time they'd both heal.
But nothing can spare me if I'm deaf to the truth.
Satan's lies twirl me ‘round. I’m the cyclical wheel
of corporate America. I plow down meager streets
killing starving millions. Pile them in fields!

Heap them high and let them rot in the fields
of forgotten faceless who in death are tacit still.
Oh zealous conscience! Age again will heal
these pangs of shame that scream for the truth
to be heard amidst the screeching wheels
that stop on the black hot newly paved streets.

I've paid good money to build these streets
that cover unsightly concreteless fields.
(Soaring expressways lead me further still
away from God and a peace that would heal
my lie-infested psyche of greed.) No truth,
only chance, as I spin the sparkling gold wheel

of fortune. Please Lord, please stop the wheel
on the Venetia vacation! Along shimmering streets,
gondolas will take me towards fresh dreams to field.
Dreams of rivers of Barolo to keep the heart still,
allow slit veins to convalesce and arteries heal.
Wine sends the mind swirling to distract from truth.

I prefer it over wisdom. I can't swallow truth.
I'd rather whirl around like a Ferris wheel,
floating high above the impoverished streets
of a dying world. But I'm drenched in the field
of science, and I'm growing greater still.
Redemption is dust. Like a starfish I'll heal.

I need not God nor truth, as by my own will I'll heal.
I invented the wheel and I built my own streets.
What has God made...vacant field and night still?

Friday, November 18, 2005

But, first, remember, remember, remember the signs. Say them to yourself when you wake in the morning and when you lie down at night, and when you wake in the middle of the night. And whatever strange things may happen to you, let nothing turn your mind from following the signs. And secondly, I give you a warning. Here on the mountain I have spoken to you clearly: I will not often do so down in Narnia. Here on the mountain, the air is clear and your ind is clear; as you drop down into Narnia, the air will thicken. Take great care that it does not confuse your mind. And the signs which you have learned here will not look at all as you expect them to look, when you meet them there. That is why it is so important to know them by heart and pay no attention to appearances. Remember the signs and believe the signs. Nothing else matters. - C.S. Lewis, The Silver Chair

Saturday, November 12, 2005

This entry is dedicated to Matt Conner.

"I want you to write about me in your blg. I like being in people's blogs." - M.Conner, 11/11/05

So... here it is, Matt.

Anyway... yesterday was a pretty good day. Matt Conner. I went to Overstreet's class and I actually liked it! Matt Conner. Faith and Worship was good too. Matt Conner. Oh at one point I went to Mocha Joe's. Matt Conner told me that I have a long, pointy tongue which meant I should get a mocha with half a shot of orange. History of Christianity was a good class too. Matt Conner. I went to work, yay for the babies!! Matt Conner. I got kisses from Jordan. Matt Conner. And if you don't know what a kiss from a baby is like, they just open up their mouth and stick it on your face. Matt Conner. But it's really cute. Matt Conner. I really love my job. Matt Conner.

--->That's Jordan

Came home last night and went to WalMart w/ the roommates. Matt Conner. Came back and we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the new one with Depp). Matt Conner. Such a good movie. Matt Conner. It was my third time seeing it. Matt Conner. And I did some more knitting and crocheting. Matt Conner. Now I need to get to cleaning because I have company coming from home. Matt Conner.

---->That's Matt Conner

Thursday, November 10, 2005

1. My uncle once: didn't exist, and he still doesn't because both parents are only children.

2. Never In My Life: have I closed my eyes while watching people run barefoot with shoes on under a full moon in the middle of the day in the winter, in July.

3. When I was five: I was in Kindergarten, I think. Letter people, Ryan Krukowski, Libby Templeton (who is coming this weekend!), Nikki Fleetwood. They were (and still are!) my friends.

4. High School was: almost five years ago!

6. I once met: a homeless man who recited a poem for me which he wrote, entitled "Graceful"

7. There's this girl I know who: has a heart for Africa. She grew up there, and she wants to go back, and live in Nairobi. And God is bringing so many people into her life who share her passion.

8. Once, at a bar: I ate some chicken wings (B-dubs. Never been to a "real" bar).

9. By noon I'm usually: in class. Either Education Ministry with Youth or Faith and Worship.

10. Last night: I ironed way too many clothes.

11. Favorite body part: on myself? My eyes. I like that they change color. On men? Their arms.

12. Next time I go to church: might be tomorrow night, might be Sunday, might not be either.

15. When I turn my head left, i see: my open door and the A/C unit closet. My TV, my dresser, my mess.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: my window, blinds shut.

19. If I were a character written by Shakespeare: I would not be Juliet. I would never kill myself because a man I met two (?) days before is dead.

20. By this time next year: I have no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing.

21. A better name for me would be: She-Letikah (another memory for Heather)

22. I have a hard time understanding: Dr Overstreet's text books.

23. If I ever go back to school I'll: only take classes I want, even if they aren't in the same department and don't add up to any sort of degree.

24. You know I like you if: I laugh really hard and not just give a fake smile.

25. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Moses

27. Take my advice: never, EVER listen to anyone who doesn't care about Moses.

28. My ideal breakfast is: dependent on the day.

29. A song I love, but do not have is: not anything I can think of right now.

30. If you visit my hometown: watch the sunset over the lake, like Tricia said. But also, visit during the summer so you can enjoy the beach. But don't go to Silver, it's too busy. Go to the one whose name I can't think of, but there's a dune you have to climb to get to it, and it's just a narrow path up and then back down the dune.

31. Random fact: I'm going to Italy in 47 days!

32. Why won't anyone: invent the MTS? (Magical Transport System)

33. If you spend the night at my house: you better not wake up my roommates at 5:30 in the morning. They might get annoyed by it.

34. I'd stop my wedding: if I found out my husband-to-be was a robot.

35. The world could do without: those things that decorate the far end

36. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat the whole thing.

37. My favorite blonde is: STACY LANTZ! By far.

38. Paper clips are more useful than: a guitar without strings, a codependant relationship, and nipples on men.

39. If I do anything well, it's: procrastinate.

40. And by the way: I burnt myself with the iron twice last night.

41. The last time I was drunk: was never.

42. If I were you: I would learn how to change back into me.

43. The best decade to live in is: besides now, the 40s and 50s

44. The last two digits of my phone number are: either 40, 19, or 86

45. My graduating class is: (of college) lucky to be the only class that gets to1) be the first with the Wellness Center, 2) be the first with the new Mocha Joe's, 3) and still get the bowling alley, and 4)the first to have Fair Commons

46. The best kind of parties are: the kind that Shane Claiborn talked about in chapel today

47. Ten years ago: I was 12... middle school... 7th grade... friends with Ellie (I still am friends with Ellie!)

48. The hottest person in the world: my future husband. Too bad I don't know what he looks like.

50. This survey: Is missing number 49 because I deleted it, because I know someone who would have commented on it no matter what I said, I don't want them to. Also, it's missing number 5 and I have no idea why.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

It's been awhile since a "real" update. Right now I'm taking a break from laundering (clothes, not money) and putting away already clean clothes that, sadly enough, I've been procrastinating since basically September. Hmm.. yeah. Ha. Anyway, I had a good weekend with my mom and grandma, and this coming weekend I get to see Libby and Sue. Sue. So weird. Okay, lemme explain. When I was three I became best friends with Libby. We've grown apart since then in that we aren't best friends anymore, but we are still friends and we still get together once in awhile, and her mom (Sue) and my mom are really good friends. So for the past almost 20 years I've known these two people, and in the past almost 20 years I've always, ALWAYS called Sue by Mrs. Templeton. But this summer at a mutual friends' wedding (Heather!) she and my mom decided that we were old enough to call them Sue and Vickie (meaning Libby calls my mom Vickie. I still call her mom). What a weird transition.

It's funny how there are those little things that make you realize: oh yeah, I'm a grown up.

And then I try to think about people my age from my perspective when I was a child. I thought they were SO OLD!

Here's a story that my mom told me this weekend... she works at an elementary school, and there's a 6-year-old there named Jasmine. Here's their conversation:

Jasmine: How come you never got married?
Mom: I did! And I have two kids, but they're grown up. My son is 25 and my daughter is 22.
Jasmine: Wow! She must be old and wrinkly like you!

The funny part is that my mom isn't wrinkly yet haha but yeah... ahhh childhood.

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Currently Reading
Through Painted Deserts : Light, God, and Beauty on the Open Road
By Donald Miller

Two Don Miller quotes, marking that today he's here!

Describing a sunrise in the deserts of Nevada, "I can only hear a faint flow of wind slide down from the hills, rolling like water from high pressure toward some swirling low. The interestate slices through a field of sand before climbing into a distant pass behind me, and this desert floor, still dark with night shadows, lies flat for miles before giving rise to those sleeping peaks in the east. And the sand has the ghostly stare of a blank canvas, as if to hope something beautiful will be painted on its surface, as if to want for flesh. I press into the desert, aiming for a spot to watch the sun break. Every ten steps I check the east and it changes as I walk. Black gives to blue and it is a blue like no blue on any painting or picture. This is living blue, changing from one hue to another, shifting slowly the way color only does at morning. Spilled on the brown, then, are dry and shadowy lakes of deep, rich darkness; the absence of light. My tracks are laid out, marking my path, and as I look back, I see the van is now a small form beside a black threadlike strip. To the east, the first tint of red arrives in weak shades through overpowering blue. There are clouds now, and as the light comes in slow, the great vapors establish form; tall clouds with thirty--thousand-foot lifts. And though tremendous in size, they are guarded by the length and depth of a black-blue sky, held back by mountains. Morning lifts with her finger first, streatching her long bones into the clouds. Engaged, I set myself down on the cold morning sand, my hands besdie me and half buried in the frozen dirt. I pull them out, dust my hands against each other, and slide them into my jacket pockets. The black hills ghost to gray, revealing crags and cliffs lifting up toward their summits."

While watching the sunrise in Oregon, "And if these mountains had eyes, they would wake to find two strangers in their fences, standing in admiration as a breathing red pours its tinge upon earth's shore. These mountains, which have seen untold sunsrises, long to thunder praise but stand reverent, silent so that man's weak praise should be given God's attention."

I finished the book last night. I suggest all to read it.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

The following was written by my friend Audrey...

I saw it in your eyes the other day
It made my heart beat faster--to see you come alive.
For so long you've been INSIDE yourself
Trying to process everything that happened
Trying to turn off your mind
that continually asks, "What if I'd said?"
"What if I'd done?" "What if..." "What if..."
And the list goes on
Well, I'm not a fool
I've been there too
Don't feel. Don't think. Don't.
Because it's too dangerous...too painful
I have to be strong
I have to go on
I have to...have to...
get this thing out of me...
I'm walking by and you don't see
that I'm dying inside
Suffocated by this circular string of thoughts
Entangling me, choking me, until...
there's no breath left
I keep swallowing these lies
Gasping for air, but only finding water to fill my lungs
And if I keep going, MAYBE things will get better
The water will feel like air in my lungs
And I will breathe deeply in my drowning
Only to find-- it is my death.
And then I will scream,
only no sounds will come becasue there is no air left
So I'll stand there--being TOUGH
Putting on a good face
when really my knees are about to buckle and I'm about to collapse into the crippled posture in which my heart lies
I've been there
Just trying to survive
But thank God,
He's the breath of life
He'll evaporate the water
and make you breathe deeply the AIR
that is truth and healing
And then you'll truly have a reason for breathing
Because that's what He is
I'm not a sermon writer nor am I sermon preacher. I just had to write a sermon for a class, and it's bad. I would probably never go to the church again if I heard it somewhere. Not because I disagree with it or anything, just because there's nothing there. But it's late at night and I need the grade, so I wrote crap.

Is it really November?

A lot of non-crap-like thoughts on my mind today, inspired by two seperate classes.

What is worship?

How do we worship?

Why do we worship?

Is the purpose of worship to be educated?

Is it possible to be educated during worship even if that's not the purpose?

What do we worship?

Is worship based only on experience?

Or theology?

Or both?

Or neither?

Monday, October 31, 2005

So church was good this morning. Well, I didn't pay attention to the entire sermon because I got caught up in journaling some thoughts that other parts inspired. But anyway, Matt talked about freedom this morning. And so I started thinking about my personal freedom. I'm not free. Well, at least not as free as I could be. And then last night I was reading some of the above book and it is so good. Okay, so the author, Don Miller ("Blue Like Jazz) when he was in his twenties, he and a friend left home (Houston, TX) one day and started driving to Oregon. And basically that journey is what this book is about. So, off of that, and off of this morning, I have some conjoined thoughts. And here they are...

I think all through high school and my first years in college I was in my own prison. My prison where I became comfortable in the fact that this was what I knew. I knew the four walls, the concrete floor, the stale bread. I knew that somewhere beyond the prison there was something better, but I think I lied to myself about what it was. Because, I didn't know what it was like out there. I didn't know what the air felt like, smelled like. What freedom was. And so I chose the known prison. Because you see, the door to my prison cell was unlocked the whole time. And I knew that. And I knew that at some point I wanted to walk out of the prison and into my freedom, but I was too afraid. Too afraid of the journey.

But I think this past year I did it. I got up, opened that door, and took a step outside. My first taste of freedom. But it's been a whole year and I'm still standing there, right outside the door. I haven't begun my journey yet! I feel like... I'm in the parking lot outside the prison, and there are all these cars out there, and I have the key. I just don't know which car to take, which road to travel, which destination to aim towards. The freedom is a bit overwhelming. So that's where I'm at in my journey right now. I so badly want to leave, go to some great place (spiritually, mentally, physically, and geographicaly), I just don't know where.

And so I leave you with these Don Miller thoughts, word for word the majoity of the Author's Note of his book. I know it's long, but it's so worth reading.

It is true some do not do well with conventional life. They think outside things and can't make sense of following a line. They see no walls, only doors from open space to open space, and from open space, supposedly, to the mind of God, or at least this is what we hope for them, and what they hope for themselves.

I remember the sweet sensation of leaving, years ago, some ten now, leaving Texas for who knows where. I could not have known about this beautiful place, the Oregon I have come to love, this city of great people, this smell of coffee and these evergreens reaching up into a mist of sky, these sunsets spilling over the west hills to slide a red glow downt he streets of my town.

And I could not have known then that if I had been born here, I would have left here, gone someplace south to deal with horses, to get on some open land where you can see tomorrow's storm brewing over a high desert. I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing.... everybody has to change, or they expire. Everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.

I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so thinkgs keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently....

Everything we were is no more, and what we will become, will become what was....

I sometimes look into the endless heavens, the cosmos of which we can't find the edge, and ask God what it means. Did you really do all of this to dazzle us? Do you really keep it shifting, rolling round the pinions to stave off boredom? God forbid your glory would be our distraction. And God forbid we would ignore your glory....

No, life cannot be understood flat on a page. It has to be lived; a person has to get out of his head, has to fall in love, has to memorize poems, has to jump off bridges into rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his breath: I'll tell you how the sun rose A ribbon a time...

And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children at play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning ot love others more than we do ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:


Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I just had a dream. My dream was that I was in Fair Commons in my apartment and the fire alarm went off (I wonder why hahaha.. for those who don't know it went off Sunday afternoon and Tuesday evening) and I was sooo angry. I was yelling to Jen (she was the only other one in the apt) stuff like "not again I hate this stupid building" etc. So we run downstairs and we're all going outside - the whole building, everyone was there. Jen and I are the 1st two people out, and the next person out is Cassie. She asks me if I think she should tell Jill (our RD) what happened. I said I didn't know and asked her what happened. She said that her neighbhor knocked over her (Cassie's) candle and that it was a really fancy candle from her Grandma. (This would result in Cassie getting a fine for having a candle.) Then Jonah and Sara came (even though they don't live in F.C.) and Jen tells me that she just had a dream that they were solving crimes and that this was the "crime" they were solving. So we're all standing outside Fair Commons, except now we're all located at Warner Camp, only it doesn't look like Warner Camp (b/c that can happen in dreams) and someone runs up to us and says "there's a hurricane!" and we all just kind of stand there looking at them. And then she yells "get on the couches! Sit down! Heads up!" Which, if you're in a hurricane I don't think that helps at all but okay. So we sat down on couches and now I'm next to Stacy Lantz (she doesn't live in Fair either) and then someone comes around asking if we need water and we look out the window and it starts hailing and then I wake up.

So, I wake up at 5:15 all panic-y and can't go back to sleep b/c my adrenaline is rushing.

Now it's 5:45 and I'm still awake, though calmed down.

What is it about dreams that cause our body to react physically? What is it about dreams that are so close to reality? Like, when I woke up I had to lie there for awhile to make sure the fire alarm wasn't going off or anything.

I'm really tired but I still think that by the time I'd actually fall back to sleep I'd have to wake up again right away. Ugh.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

"Freedom is interesting. We celebrate it. Pledge allegiance to it. And we say it's what sets us apart. But the prisons of materialism, individualism, and even the pursuit of this American dream can leave us in more bondage than when we started. My prayer for all of us is that we learn what it means to be free in Christ and have that play out in all of our lives." - Matt Conner

Friday, October 21, 2005

Yesterday I ate cereal with a spork.

Today it's raining.

Coincidence? Most likely.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

How can my God destroy a people group (Ex 20:23) and at the same time not want anyone to perish (2 Peter 3:9)?

How can my God, a good and perfect God create a good and perfect world (the Garden, pre-fall) and look on it and say "it is good", but then (still before the fall) say "it is not good" (for man to be alone)?

My God has always embedded His reign in culture. He values culture. He is resistant to culture.

In everything of God, there is a both/and. He is both vengent and loving. He is both/and.... everything.

On one side of the spectrum there is order. On the other? Chaos. I need to live in the tension of the two.


What if my faith is a trampoline, not a wall? (Rob Bell - "Velvet Elvis") - What if instead of building a wall of faith that has doctrine as bricks, I have a trampoline of faith that has doctrine as springs? What if instead of defending my wall I invite others to play on my trampoline? What if instead of my bricks being questioned (resulting in them falling out, the wall crumbling), my springs are questioned (resulting in them pulling, flexing, bending, moving, growing)?

what if i live in the tension?

what if i find myself in the tension when i am in the empty spaces?
Tomorrow is the 2nd Annual Sara Spitters/Holly Frees Fall Fest!!! Activities include: eatinc chilli, eating corn bread, eating pumpkin pie, drinking cider (oops! I forgot to buy that!), knitting (or crocheting), watching a movie (Last year I think we watched "Mr. Holland's Opus" and this year we're watching "Mona Lisa Smile"), and hanging out! Tonight I'm preparing by making pumpkin pie... and Meagan, my roommates don't like it so there will definately be leftovers for you!

Side note: I've been reminded to live in the tension. More details to come.

Monday, October 17, 2005

So I ended up getting ready a little earlier than anticipated, so I have time to update you on my fall break.

Thursday evening hung out with Stacy - "Rat Race" and Spiral Mac & Cheese

Friday morning - WalMart (work on car), Starbuck's (Java Chip Frapp)
Friday afternoon - Played with babies (worked 2-6). Baby story of the day: Kade loves me, it's true. He laughs at me whenever I hold him, and he smiles whenever I come to get him out of his crib.
Friday evening - Hung out with Stacy - "The Village" and Pepperoni/Green Pepper pizza (Dominoes)

Saturday morning - LEFT at 7:30 am, Starbuck's run (Carmel Latte and Blueberry Scone), drove 3 hours to Michigan City
Saturday afternoon - lunch at Red Lobster in M.C. w/ Stacy, mom, and grandma. Flounder, rice, house salad w/ rasp. vin. SHOPPING!!! At the outlet mall!

Shopping success story: Despite not finding a good pair of jeans (my main goal), it was still very successful. 60% off a trench coat (which I was wanting) from the Gap, 30% off two long sleeve T's from Casual Corner (one brown, one celery w/ a cool neckline), and 75%?? (originally $59, I paid $14.99) off sweater from Casual Corner, and 50% off bracelet from Aeropostle. Would have bought more, but didn't have the $ hahaha.

Saturday evening - drive to St. Joe, supreme pizza (Dominoes) w/ stacy and mom. Video store - previously viewed DVD's, $9.95 each - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and "Mona Lisa Smile." - I had to decide amongst about 10 that I wanted. Chocolate Cafe w/ Stacy, Krista (wanted to update there, but RiceBunny didn't let me) - Missed Pishy. Home, "Eternal Sunshine", Krista and Stacy slept over.

Sunday morning - Mom's monkey bread.
Sunday afternoon - Chan's Garden w/ Stacy, mom, grandma - three hours driving back to AU, directly to Bath&Body Works where I worked until 1:30am.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Another day Another page
Words and lines to fill
In the empty spaces
Empty spaces of my life
Where I'm forced to think
And listen to
My heart
It speaks without
And cries without
It laughs without
A voice
Busy. Things to fill
My day
My life
So I don't have to
listen to the words
feel the tears
create a voice
I need empty spaces

Wednesday, October 5, 2005

Currently Reading
Praise of Folly
By Desiderius Erasmus

Okay, so I'm reading this book for History of Christianity, and I thought it would be really boring, but it's actually really good. You can even ask Stacy and she'll tell you that sometimes I laugh out loud. But these quotes aren't the funny ones. These are ones I just want some opinions on. I have to write a paper on the book by Friday, and so yeah... just give me your thoughts...

* "First of all, everyone knows that by far the happiest and universally enjoyable age of man is the first. What is there about babies which makes us hug and kiss and fondle them, so that even an enemy would give them help at that age? Surely it's the charm of folly, which thoughtful Nature has taken care to bestow on the newly born so that they can offer some reward of pleasure to mitigate the hard work of bringing them up and win the liking of those who look after them."
* "Friendship, they're always saying, must come before everything. It is something even more essential than air, fire, and water, so delightful that if it were removed from their midst it would be like losing the sun, and finally, so respected (if this is at all relevant) that even the philosophers do not hesitate to mention it amongst the greatest of blessings."
* "Just think: winking at your friend's faults, passing over them, turning a blind eye, building up illusions, treating obvious faults as virtues which call for love and admiration - isn't all that related to folly?"
* "Let's have it repeated, three and four times over, it is folly, and the same folly, which alone makes friendships and keeps friends together. I'm talking of ordinary mortals, none of whom is born fautless, and the best among them is the one with fewest faults. But amongst those stoic philosopher-gods either no friendship forms at all, or else it is a sour and ungracious sort of relationship which exists only with very few men - I hesitate to say with none at all, for most men have their foolish moments, or rather, everyone is irrational in various ways, and friendship joins like to like. But if ever some mutual goodwill does arise amongst these austere characters it certainly can't be stable and is unlikely to last long, seeing that they're so captious and far keener-eyed to pick out their friend's faults than the eagle or the Epidaurian snake. Of course they're blind to their own faults and simply don't see the packs hanging from their backs."
* "Consequently the delights of friendship couldn't last a single hour amongst such Argus-eyed folk without the addition of what the Greeks aplty named '[enter Greek letters here]', a word we can translate either as "folly" or as "easy-going ways.""
* "Nothing is so foolish, they say, as for a man to stand for office and woo the crowd to win its vote, buy its support with presents, court the applause of all those fools and feel self-satisfied when they cry their approval, and then in his hour of triumph to be carried round like an effigy for the public to stare at, and end up cast in bronze to stand in the market-place."
* "First of all, it's admitted that all the emotions belong to Folly, and this is what marks the wise man off from the fool; he is ruled by reason, the fool by his emotions."

Again, just looking for thoughts to all or some of the quotes. Thanks!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Yesterday I painted three paintings. They were all abstract. It's a funny thing, art. I'm not an "artist" in the fact that I do these things regularly. But while I was doing it, I felt like an artist. And I was thinking. I knew the size of my canvas, and I knew my colors to choose from (and also I know the basics of mixing colors, adding white or black, etc). All I knew was that I wanted to mainly use greens and blues. So, I put some blue, green, and white on my pallete (I didn't have black). And I put my brush in the blue. Then the white. Then the green. And I mixed it all together. The color came out and I put it on the canvas. Then when my brush got empty, I mixed some more together and it came out a different shade and I put that on the canvas. The movements of the brush came out and I didn't have to think about them. I didn't have to think about the colors either (beyond the basics). I love each painting that I did. The same basic principles turned out three different ways. I thought about God, and about my future. As long as I focus on the basic principles (God being the most important) then the rest will come out fine. I don't need to worry about where the next brushstroke is going... it will just happen.

I'm talking about life now.

Friday, September 23, 2005

IT'S COLD OUTSIDE! And I love it. Fall is my favorite season.

I love Mocha Joe's. For non-AU people it's a coffee shop on campus that also has an e-cafe and pool tables and ping pong tables and an air hockey table. I love it because I can go there on the breaks between my classes and I always see people and it's never planned.

For example. Today between 11-12 I sat with Jen Brooks and Krista Allen. And from 1-2 I ate lunch with Rae Bates, Erin Sprunger, and Meagan Barnett (and I hadn't seen Meagan in awhile.)

Yay! Oh! And the girls are getting their journals in the bookstore today. So yeeeeeehaw!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

As promised, more memories.

Sixth - Caitlyn appologizing to the tree b/c we picked the blossoms. Making bracelets out of weeping willow branches. Lunches outside. "Blue butt" the "frog" (that was really a piece of plastic). Having a crush on Mr. Magrane.

Seventh - Mr. Adler and his really bad jokes. Reading Nancy Drew EVERY day almost. Art class w/ Ellie and making a clay tissue box. Mrs. Rapp "lost" my pinch pot (I think it actually broke in the kiln and she didn't want to tell me). Choir. Band. Mrs. Achteberg's english teaching. (The only good english teacher I have EVER had.) I can still recite the two-letter prepositions (in on at by of to up) and the exceptions to the "i before e when it sounds like e except after c" rule. "NEITHER of the SHEIK'S WEIRD FRIENDS SEIZED a SEIVE EITHER to eat PROTEIN, drink CAFFEINE, or take CODEINE for LEISURE." Remembering that ten years (has it really been that long) later? That's a good teacher. (of coures that assumes you pronounce them eether and neether instead of nighther and ighther.)

Eighth - Moving into the new wing. Making a bridge out of toothpicks for math class. "Stop the violence!" Everyone (it seemed) but me going on the trip to D.C. My first German class ("Wo bin ich? Ich kann fliegen!"). The very first end-of-the-year-beach-party at Warren Dunes with the "I heart the Pine River" cooler.

9th - Band in the auditorium. My obsession with Hanson. The beginning of Gamma Chick (which I believe there was a promised edition that never came out) and Wired Weekly. The really old, smashed grapes Ellie and I found in our locker at the end of the year. Really, I think they became wine. The old cafeteria and library. Sizzling Ice and the "First Circle" of death. Going to Chicago. Very Cherry Jelly Belly's. All the codes Heather and I had. Fall Retreat when Ryan carried me across the room and then something about cocoa puffs.

10th - New band room. New cafeteria and student lounge. The "media center". Rebecca and Stanely dating. Physical Science class w/ Mr. Chorny. The Blue Pig story. Beauty and the Beast. Christmas Dance. Mints down my dress.

11th - Skeletor's child. The bottle dance. Fiddler on Roof. Waving to bus drivers. Band camp. Meredith the lunch tray. Pasta Friday's and cheese stick Thursdays. Christmas Dance. Prom.

12th - The end. Exodus. Band camp, toga toga toga. My first car accident (Michelle Klug rear-ended me the day before graduation). Christmas Dance. Prom. Acting class. Law class (what a joke!) Art Club.

Funny how freshman year had the most specific memories. I remember some other things but the years kind of blend together.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Monday I skipped all my classes - I just didn't feel like going haha. But I did go to work, because I love my job. Then I came home and ate dinner with Jen (chicken and mac&cheese) and then we watched Friends, I drank coffee. And we (Jen and I) got emails about our first meeting for the Italy trip - the meeting is next week. Yay! Then we went to the first L'ami meeting of the year (post-rush) and it was mostly business-y but it was all stuff we needed to talk about and get out of the way. Then we introduced ourselves to the Dux boys (our brother club). Then I came home and did stuff (don't remember what) and went to bed. So... it started with a good day.

Tuesday (today) I skipped my 8:30 and chapel - I just didn't feel like going haha. But I did go to my 11:30 b/c I like it (Educational Ministries w/ Youth). Then I grabbed lunch and was going to be okay with eating it by myself in Mocha Joe's and reading, but then I ran into Erin Sprunger and her dad (Moose, who lead my trip to Jamaica) and so Erin stayed and ate with me. Yay for talking to Erin! Then I went to my 2:00 (History of Christianity - it's a good class). After class I ran into other roommate, Stacy and we had a good convo about a boy (no, not what you're probably thinking). She walked to work with me and met some of my way cool friends that I see every day - Jaret, Ti, Carly, Angela, and Ethan. She even held Ethan (even though he was drooly and screaming). Then she went to her job and I played with kids. Oh! And before lunch I bought "Captivating" which is one of the books I'm going to read for my independant study. Anyway... after work I had to walk to South Campus to get my video camera from Shannon. She wasn't home yet, but when I used the phone to call her, Stacy (my non-roommate) saw me and invited me to her apartment. There she gave me our family portrait* and made me some dinner*. Then Shannon came home and gave me my camera, and I walked back home. Then I did stuff on the computer and Jen came home with movies from the library. We watched "Italian For Beginners" which is NOT a learn-Italian video, it's an actual movie, but it's Danish. It was hilarious (though I don't think it was supposed to be). We also watched part of a travel guide video on Italy, and part of a learn Italian video. (So another great day). These great days will be continued with: dinner with Spitty, lunch with Stacy, visit from Krista.

*Okay. So, my family portrait and Stacy cooking me dinner. Two great reminders of this summer, our internship. One day we all got together (by all I mean all 12 interns and Matt) and got dressed up and got our picutre taken at WalMart. It's great. I'll try to scan it and post it. The dinner. It really made me miss our internship and our community meals. Four days a week we cooked dinner for anyone who showed up (usually 20-some) but that wasn't the only "community meals" (though they were the only official ones). I don't think anyone ever woke up and made breakfast without making enough for at least one other house mate to eat (even if no one else was awake yet). We would always make lunch for each other, and for Dan who came over almost every day to be fed. It became no big deal at all to just say (at any time of day) "Hey I'm making an omlet, anyone else want one?" We didn't just share food either. We shared everything. Our computers, our phones, our books, our movies, our coffee (even our favorite mugs). But most importantly - our lives. Melissa (one of the interns) wrote about it in "Other Voices" and she put it into better words than I can - "Community is not easy or comfortable. Living in an environment where you are constantly rubbing shoulders with the same people, who get to learn to love you and be annoyed by you and see your ugliness and pain as well as your heart, is a very beautiful and difficult experience." Donald Miller also says "I didn't know what to tihnk about the idea of living in community at first. I had lived on my own for about six years, and the idea of moving in with a bunch of slobs didn't appeal to me. Living in community sounded so, um, odd. Cults do that sort of thing, you know. First you live in community, and then you drink punch and die.... I have a picture on my desk of the six guys at Graceland, which is what we named the house. The picture on my desk is more than a picture of six guys; it's a picture of me in my transition, not a physical transition, but more of an inner shift from one sort of thinking to another." (Blue Like Jazz). "All the believers were of one heart and mind, and they felt what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had." Acts 4:32

Wanna read related text? I recommend: "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, "No Compromise: The Life of Kieth Green" by Melonie Green, and Acts.

"So, you guys have parties every day?" - Steven from across the street this summer.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

I just watched "Billy Madison" for the first time. (Please forgive me Denise!)

It made me think about random memories from different grades. I will now list some.

Preschool - We had colored dots to tell us what activity we were supposed to be at. One time I didn't know I was supposed to be at snack time and so I showed up late and missed out on the beach story, but still got my PB&J. Also I remember Nikki and I would fight over a Cinderella puzzle. Nikki and I are still friends.

Kindergarten - The letter people. I was Mr. Z when we went through the classrooms. I would be mean to Nikki and play with Libby instead. I remember making candles. This is when I met Jason and Ryan. I am still friends with all four of these people.

First - I remember that I peed my pants going down the tornado slide. I remember learning to tell time and count money.

Second - We learned cursive. Jenna stole my colored pencils. I remember drawing a picture for my teacher, and I think it was of a graveyard.

Third - I remember bringing my dog in for show and tell. I remember making a book of memories. Mr Hannah the bus driver. I was Helen Keller for a speech, and my best friend Libby was Anne Sullivan. "Math Game Day", where we walked a mile.

Fourth - We made time capsules that we were supposed to open when we graduated high school (the teacher kept them). It never happened, but I remember what I put in mine - a picture of my brother and I and an American Girl catalog. I remember "I can multiply 100" or something. We learned some German from some High School students.

Fifth - I remember sex ed. Libby was a domino for Halloween.

Elementary in general - I remember Tony. He was really smart. I don't remember what grade he was in with me but he was doing 8th grade math. Then he moved to Chicago to further his violin skills.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

So it's DEFINATELY NOT 11:00pm. I DEFINATELY DO NOT have to figure out what I'm going to wear for tomorrow's rush day. We DEFINATELY DO NOT have to clean the kitchen, because we DEFINATELY DO NOT have the L'ami girls coming over tomorrow night to spend the night. And I DEFINATELY DO NOT have homework, and of course, I DEFINATELY DO NOT have to work at 8:30am. And, I'm DEFINATELY NOT still sick, and that sickness DEFINATELY DOES NOT now also include a cough/manvoice. And I DEFINATELY DID NOT get flour in my eye tonight, and it DEFINATELY DID NOT burn. My room is DEFINATELY NOT a mess.
I don't want a lot of money. I just want to be comfortable, to not have to worry about the next month's rent or whatever.

I just spent the morning looking at jobs. I know it's early (kinda) but I want to at least of some sort of idea of what I want to do by the time I graduate.

I still would like to live in London for a year after graduating. Then move to Ireland, or somewhere. Rotate countries for a few years.

I don't want to live alone. Roommate or husband, never alone.

I went through my whole box of tissues this week (150 count) and still need more. And I used a LOT of toilet paper instead when I was between classes.

Side Note - For those of you wanting to visit over Homecoming (Deanna, Megs, Mel, Brooke, anyone else??) I speak for my other roommates when I say any and/or all of you are more than welcome to spend any/ and/or all nights in our apartment. We have 2 couches and an airmatress. Just keep it in mind. Okay.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I know it's been a little longer than usual (meaning 1 day) since I last updated. But this is rush week, and basically, the name holds true.(Side note on rush week - in L'amifidel EVERYONE re-rushes and so it's not the old people degrating the new people. It's everyone playing games together.) I've been rushing around all week so far. Monday I had class, then work, then working out and then spending time with Erin at Mocha Joe's.

Erin @ Mocha Joe's - Amazing. It was so good to finally sit down with a friend and enjoy each other's company without having to worry about anything else. And yay for talking about dreams and Africa and making books and all kinds of other stuff. And I tried a flavored tea. It was "Wild Sweet Orange" (TAZO) and it was decent. Kind reminded me of hot apple cider. (This is a big deal that I tried it b/c I don't like tea.)

Tuesday I had class and then work and then the first rush meeting. After the rush meeting we went to WalMart to get stuff for rush (and YAY for me only spending $1.38 on rush), getting home at 1:30 and then staying up until 3:30 making my burden bag.

Burden Bag - We have several things for rush that we have with us at all times. We put each other's prayer requests in our bags. And also for each prayer request there is a small rock, to remind us that we carry each other's burdens, and to remind us to pray for each burden.

Today I went to class and then work (I know, never would have guessed.) And because it was rush week I was dressed up (kinda... remember, I only spend $1.38.) Today's dress theme was "native". Once again noticed that work is amazing and it is the highlight of my day. Then we rushed. We played games, said our cheers. We also had a little treasure hunt which took us from the FART breezeway over to Miller Chapel, and then the Tri-S office, and then Park Place, and then the Haven, and then back to FART. (The treasure was candy.) I personally did not understand WHAT the crap my roommates (2/3 of the rush captains) meant by "native" (native american? native someothercountry? WHAT?)

"Native" - My dress? 1) Flip-flops. 2) Blue jeans. 3) Plain white T-shirt with blue sharpie... Front: "AE[Pi symbol here] Rush 2005 Today I Am A..." Back: NATIVE (I don't know... ask my roommates, the rush captains.) Native's don't have $ to buy rush costumes." 4) Last year's AEPi strap thingy around my left knee 5) My warm fuzzy (yarn that has significant meaning) 6) My YELLOW (Jonah??) bandana from camp because I couldn't find last years rush bandanas. 7) My burden bag. 8) Fake ivy in my hair, just because.

Monday, September 12, 2005

So today is my brother's birthday. He's freakin' 25 years old. I don't know how that's possible. The card I sent him has a picture of a middle-aged man in a circus costume. It says "So, you will not go to Omaha with Paco? Paco can show you many things, but Paco will not beg." Then you open it and it says "Birthday or not, don't go with Paco"

Yeah. I don't get it. But it's great. So... I woke up yesterday with a cold. The whole running/stuffy (at the same time) nose, sneezing, sore throat, sinus headache. Yeah. I have it today also. I'm really tempted to just skip all my classes and sleep... but I've been good so far (yeah I know it's only been two weeks) about not skipping... so yeah. I'll probably go. But this whole sick thing is really bad timing b/c this week is rush week and it's going to be crazy busy. Class/work until 6pm then rush from 7-10.

I tried to go to bed early last night - it didn't work. I couldn't fall asleep. Then I woke up early today. So... now I get to make coffee! Because Stacy and I bought some Saturday and Jen finally brought back her coffee pot

Saturday, September 10, 2005

So, one might ask, what did Holly do Friday night? I'll tell you! I got home from work around 6pm. Then I bugged Jen about what she wanted for dinner, and ended up making a frozen pizza for myself. Later Stacy made one for herself too, and Jen made soup. Yeah. So... we watched one of our staple movies - Pirates of the Caribbean - and then Stacy and I walked over to Byrum for the first Randomonium (non AU ppl - it's an improv group on campus). I'll be honest, I was disappointed. Where was Hawaii? I know he's still around! And Joel graduated... it made a big difference. And Stacy and I had some good works picked to yell out, but they never fit the criteria of what they wanted. (I'm not telling the words because if we go again - we're still using them.) Then we walked home and I played on the computer for awhile and watched some MadTV before falling asleep. That's it.

Friday, September 9, 2005

Last night I took a break from everything and went to the Mocha Joe's open house. Which means... Air Hockey with Stacy (she won, but it was very close), Scott Williams (I miss him) in concert, and Micah Gilliam (I don' know if I spelled his last name right) and another guy (don't remember his name) from their band, and then another guy (don't remember who) that I didn't stay for. And I played two games of Sorry with Stacy and Jen (and one of those was with Stephanie, Mel's roommate for two days this summer). The first one Stacy won, the second I did. Hadn't played it in probably over 10 years. Well.. now I'm off to class for the day. OH! I get to eat lunch with one of my favorite people today. Stacy Lantz. OH! And Monday I get to drink coffee/tea with another favorite person of mine. Erin Sprunger.

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Briefly between classes... some Augustine quotes:

"You stir man to take pleasure in praising you, because you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

"We cannot think you are given coherence by vessels full of you, because even if they were to be broken, you would not be split."

"Who then are you, my God? What, I ask, but God who is Lord? For 'who is the Lord but the Lord', or 'who is Godbut our God?'. Most high, utterly good, utterly powerful, most omnipotent, most merciful and most just, deeply hidden yet most intimately present, perfection of both beauty and strenght, stable and incomprehensible, immutable and yet changing all things, never new, never old, making everything new and 'leading' the proud 'to be old without their knowledge'; always active, always in repose, gathering to yourself but not in need, supporting and filling and protecting, creating and nurturing and bringing to maturity, searching even though to you nothing is lacking: you love without burning, you are jealous in a way that is free of anxiety, you 'repent' without the pain of regret, you are wrathful and remain tranquil. You will a change without any change in your design. You recover what you find, yet have never lost. Never in any need, you rejoice in your gains; you are never avaricious, yet you require interest. We pay you more than you require so as to make you our debtor, yet who has anything which does not belong to you? You pay off debs, though owning nothing to anyone; you cancel debts and incur no loss. But in these words what have I said, my God, my life, my holy sweetness? What has anyone achieved in words when he speaks about you? Yet woe to those who are siletna bout you because, though loquacious with verbosity, they have nothing to say."

Wednesday, September 7, 2005

Downside of working with infants: the toys - you get songs like "O Suzanna" stuck in your head while waking home.

Monday, September 5, 2005

The past always, ALWAYS repeats itself. Sometimes in the way you would least expect...
I just finished reading "Prince Caspian" (the 4th book in the Chronicles of Narnia) so when I get to the library tomorrow, I'll get number 5.

Happy Labor Day! Uh.. mine's not too exciting. My dad's on his way down to fix my car, woohoo! Yay for working cars. And he'll get to see the apartment, even though it's still messy (but not AS messy, now that our dishwasher works). Then after he leaves I'm going to work on cleaning and homework. Oh joy. Maybe I'll watch a movie with my rneighbor. ("rneighbor" is Stacy). Maybe Jen will watch with us?

Friday, September 2, 2005

So the first week is over and I didn't skip a single class (though once tempted by a bad headache) or chapel. I wonder how many more weeks that will last. Here are my current thougths regarding my classes...

Teaching Ministry of the Church, Dr. Overstreet - I'm going to just have to try to have a positive attitude about the class despite the fact that I don't work well with his style of teaching, or hair (including facial).

Corporate Ministries: Communicating the Gospel, Dr. Overstreet - See above. Although, at least this year the mullet is less mullet-like and there is a beard to accompany the mustache. Overall he looks less like "Chester Molester" (compliments of Deanna!)

Educational Ministries with Youth, Dr. Stephenson and Mark Idon'trememberhislastname - haven't yet figured out Stephenson's style, as he is still on his honeymoon. But Mark is cool and it's a great group of students for a discussion class... I'm really excited, though I need to find a youth group to involve myself in, as The Mercy House doesn't have one.

Faith and Worship, Dr. Walters - It's going to be good. He's funny and I know like 8 people in the class so when we do group stuff (which he will assign the groups) I'm sure I'll get someone I know.

History of Christianity, Dr. Strege - A crapload of reading, including Augustine's "Confessions". I've been wanting to read that, knowing I would never actually make myself do it, but now I have a reason to. A bit overwhelming, but I can do it. Kurt and Shannon told me the class is hard, but good. We'll see. Strege is a lot less boring than I imagined him to be. I just hope I still like him by the end of semester, as he will then lead my trip to Italy.

Other news...

Work - Today was the last day of my first week in my new position. This position doesn't make a difference in my pay or anything, but this summer I was a sub/floater, so I would go to the different ages depending on where they needed me. This semester I am working as the second afternoon teacher for the infants. Every day with Janet's annoying baby-talk voice, but other than that she's fun and nice. And of course the babies are amazing in every way. I need to remember to take my camera to work. There are 8 babies. Maybe next week I'll post some details about each, and hopefully some pictures.

Non-text reading - A couple days ago I checked out "Prince Caspian", the next book in the Chronicles of Narnia. I know I'm not going to have a TON of fun-reading time, but I really wanna finish the series. And also today I bought "Through Painted Deserts" by Don Miller. He's the guy who wrote "Blue Like Jazz" and if you haven't read that yet, do it! It is an AMAZING book. He later wrote "Searching for God Knows What", which is also good, but not AS good as Blue.... This "new" book is actually just being re-published, and he wrote it before Blue but it wasn't well known about, so I'm excited to read it. He's an incredible author and they are easy reads. Reading his work makes me feel like we're at a coffee shop together and he's just telling me his stories. He's coming to chapel in November and I hope to finish the "new" book before he comes. But school needs to be a priority.

Graduation - I started to fill out my application last night and had a meeting with the Shivester today. Shively noticed that I am missing 1 upper division class. It doesn't matter what class it is as long as it's a Christian Ministries caption, upper division, and three credit hours. Unfortunately, no more of them are being offered either this semester or next (meaning none that I haven't already taken or am taking). So, guess what that means. Within the next week I get to construct my own Independent Study reading course, and he and I will make a syllabus together. I have to read at least 900 pages and we'll come up with some papers for me to write. But I get to choose the "course title" and what books I want to read. The reading will take place over Christmas break.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

I just sent my very first support letter. Although they are common place I don't like it much. It kind of made me feel like I was begging and I didn't like it. Not because of a humbling factor, but because I look at my four bedroom apartment, my college education, my friends, my family, my church, my God. I look at my neighbors, little Esther that I haven't seen since the beginning of summer, Francis and her son Steven. They have so much less than I, at least materialistic speaking (who is to say they don't have more in more important ways?) I guess... I just feel like, who am I to be asking for money? But our midwest American institutionalized church would much rather give someone like me money to do missions overseas than to just give the money directly to the family across the street.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

How can people so easily just throw everything away for the sake of irrationality. At least it seems to me to be irrational. Am I too rational? I've never thought of myself as rational.
Here's a really deep post. It's supposed to rain all day because of Katrina and I don't know what box my umbrella is in.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

I give this new found desire to You. Mold it, shape it, break it if You must. Direct me, in Your own time, and give me grace when I am not patient with it.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Currently Reading
The Missing Person
By Alix Ohlin
see related

Okay now that (very unlike my apartment) I have my xanga looking the way I want it... time for a (semi)real update.

First off, I love coffee, hence the new look. Especially in the fall and winter it's easier to appreciate this fine hot beverage. The tagline, "bittersweet" is twofold: 1) It is bittersweet to me that this is my last year at AU. Bitter because I have very much enjoyed my time at AU and college life in general, the friends I have made and am making still, the dependant/independant balance, etc. Sweet because at the same time I am very much looking forward to what lies beyond. Although it's my last year and I have had my major picked out the whole time, I have no idea what I'll be doing, let alone what I WANT to be doing. I've had thoughts of all kinds - Boston church plant, London coffee house, anywhere anything... I really have no idea. I sweetly embrace my journey...

2) This reason is much less personal. Espresso is bitter and steamed milk is sweet.

And yes, as you can tell this summer I developed a liking of country music. This song is called "Something More" and it's by Sugarland - listen to the lyrics or look them up and read them - they kind of describe part of what I already mentioned.

And to Mallory - yes, I have taken a picture of a driv thru, but that's not what the profile pic is if that's what you thought. Profile pic - 14th & Madison. The driv thru is Nichol and John.

To anyone - if you don't know where Nichol and John are then you need to discover more than Scatterfield. There is a west side to Anderson, embrace it's culture.

So I decided I should add a list of the books I read this summer, including above said "currently reading". The list is not as long as I would like, however if it were as long as I would like then that would have taken away many hours I spent gaining incredible relationships with some very special and important people in my life. Here's my list:

- "Cities: Mission's New Frontier" Roger S Greenway, Timothy M Mosma
- *"Theirs Is The Kingdom: Celebrating The Gospel In Urban America" Robert D Lupton
- *"The Radical Reformission: Reaching Out Without Selling Out" Mark Driscoll
- *"No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green" Melody Green
- *"An Unstoppable Force: Daring To Become The Church God Had In Mind" Erwin McManus
- *"Searching For God Knows What" Don Miller
- *"The Magicians Nephew" (Chronicles of Narnia) C.S. Lewis
- *"The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe" (Chronicles of Narnia) C.S. Lewis
- *"The Horse And His Boy" (Chronicles of Narnia) C.S. Lewis
- "Hat Trick" (A Novel) Lisa Kusel
- "He Drown She In The Sea" (A Novel) Shani Mootoo
- *"Red Leaves" (A Novel) Thomas H Cook

That's the list... while I was pleased with each book, the ones with astricks I found better than the others and would recomend to others. During the next month or so I would like to finish the novel I'm currently on, as well as finish the Chronicles of Narnia, then I have a whole other list to work on, but with school and stuff I probably won't get to those.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I have this amazing opportunity to go to ITALY in DECEMBER! BUT... I need $800 by October... SO... any monetary donations are welcome!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

It's true. I'm taking 5 classes - only 16 credit hours. I have 20 freaking books.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Slowly working on unpacking and everything... real updates will happen once I get into my routine.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Tradition strikes - I'm home (st joe) and am eating a mint chip ice cream cone at the chocolate cafe.

I'm going back to anderson tomorrow to move into east campus. "fair commons" - or as stacy and I call it - carnival commons

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

So last night I realized that Friday I move in on campus... for the last time.

Oh yeah and since I'm updating this on my lunch break, I should add some quotes from the kids at work...

"Hey guess what! I have underwear on!" - Zane, age 3

My first day in the particular classroom... first thing I did was go up to two kids who were coloring. Here's the convo:

"Hi! What's your name?" - Me
"I'm Gracie." - Grace, age 4
"I'm Chandler. What's your name?" - Chandler, age 4
"Holly." - Me
"Are you our teacher?" - Chandler
"I am for today." - Me
"Are you coming back tomorrow?" - Chandler
"No.. I'm going to be in a different classroom tomorrow." - Me
"Oh. Well I hope you come back sometime." - Chandler

maybe that didn't sound so funny... but it made me laugh that he wanted be to come back 2 seconds after meeting me for the first time.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

One more week and I'll be on campus with FULL TIME INTERNET again! Yay! Okay... and also for anyone who cares I will be going home (st. joe) on Thursday the 18th - I'll be there around 10 or 10:30 pm and will be there just for that night... if you wanna hang out one last time. Okay... that's all for now!

Monday, August 8, 2005

Okay so the ending retreat in Goshen - AMAZING

Weekend at home - AMAZING (and found out that my best friend is engaged!)

Warner Camp - AMAZING even though some of my campers were snotty and disrespectful

Weekend at home - AMAZING

Wedding of Chris and Katie - AMAZING

There... I tried to keep it short b/c otherwise it would be way too long.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

I know.. I know... it's been a week since I updated. Well... I've been busy packing and stuff and hanging out with people I won't see for awhile. Today we're leaving for Goshen to Stacy's house for our ending retreat. Yup - the internship is soon over, and last night was our last Community Dinner. We went all out and made a Thanksgiving Dinner haha we had a turkey (15 pounds), sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green been casserole and stuffing. It fed 32 people. And we all dressed up. It was fun.

But anyway... I'm officially moved out of the house (except for a few things I still need to take to the church) and I'm going home on Friday from Goshen, and then to Warner Camp from the 31st through August 6 and I'll be back in Anderson August 7th - so you might not hear from me for awhile - but you can always call my cell

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Thanks to Jen Brooks for enriching my life via The Jesus Videos - Some youth group took the Jesus Videos and dubbed over them and it's great!

Monday, July 18, 2005

I feel like writing, but on nothing specific. Just writing. I don't do it often enough. Yes I write on here almost every day, I occasionally write in my regular journals. But there's always a purpose to the writing. It's raining right now... I love it. I love rain a lot. It's so refreshing. I just don't like it if it's too hot or too cold. The internship is winding down, two weeks left (actually a week and a half plus our ending retreat) and then it's done and over. People are already starting to check out and I don't like it.

Oh - Stacy H and Megs both wrote about feeling old in their journals and I had a few realizations this weekend.

Realization #1: Audrey, Kurt and I walking through parts of Chicago we've never been before. Felt the same way in Jamaica and London.

Realization #2: I went to Venetian and didn't see anyone I knew - because we've all moved on, don't live in town or have better things to do.

Realization #3: Going to Laura's house (the only one we saw in St. Joe) and [part A] her fiance offered us [part B] beer, Kurt accepted.

Realization #4: Sitting on my back patio with Kurt, Audrey, and my mom, eating grilled hamburgers and [part A] watching Kurt and Audrey talk with her like she was a collegue or peer, rather than a friends mom and [part B] we were all drinking wine coolers.

Realization #5: Showing Kurt and Audrey my house, walking into my bedroom and realizing for the first time, that I don't live there anymore. It was always my room even in college, for the summer and for Christmas break. Not anymore... I'm here all summer and I'll be in Italy for most of break.

Realization #6: Lying awake in bed last night and again this morning thinking in ten months I'll have a Bachelor's Degree in Christian Minsitries. Not only that but I have no freakin' clue what I want to do with it. I can live anywhere in the world I want and do anything in the world I want. There are so many places I would love living. I want to live in a city (off the top of my head: Boston, Seattle, Lexington, Nashville, Portland) but some day - maybe in the empty nest stage or when my kids are still young - I want to live somewhere with a lot of land and a horse. There are so many things I have thought of doing (after school program, having a coffee house, working in a church, any sort of urban ministry program) but I see so many downsides to each of them (none of it being money because I really don't care how much I make).

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Quick Post because I don't feel like typing a lot. I know I haven't updated in awhile.

Thursday at 8am all the interns went to Chicago to The Prayer Furnace (it was weird... don't feel like explaining it, I didn't like it)

We were supposed to leave and come back to Anderson Saturday morning, but instead Audrey, Kurt and I went to my house and went down to Venetian for a bit, but I didn't find anyone. Got home at 1am.

Over the weekend, saw the 12:01 Friday morning showing of Willy Wonka. AMAZING (And Stacy I promise I'll see it again with you - it's Depp man!)

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Watched an interesting movie yesterday... Two married men with the same mistress, one of the wives was in love with her stepson, who flirts with the servant... etc. It was a Swedish movie from the 50's. Yeah. That's all. "Smiles of the Summer Night"

*Edit* I just remembered that I wanted to quote stuff from class this week.

"Where there's a fork in the road, take it."
"The cost is high to really know someone; the cost is higher to let someone really know you. Don't think there's not a price to pay."

both quotes by Todd Davis

Monday, July 11, 2005


It's true. Great weekend. Jen and Spitty didn't come but it was still amazing and fun w/ Kick-Ass Staceho and Kick-Ass Meli? I sleepy now. My mommy came my grandma came they came today. We went shopping. I have some clothes to wear to the wedding now. I don't know what else to say right now. Freezie pop time?

*Edit* I also took some pictures (regular colored, sepia, and b&w) around town. Mainly at two old buildings and also the basement of the church. I'll probably post some later.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Yo se mas sobre East Campus Housing!!!

It's true. Stacy and I went over to East Campus and snuck in an open window into a bedroom. We were going to walk around and then we heard whistling and climbed back out of the bedroom. Then we drove back around the front and saw a carpenter so we parked and asked him if we could look around and he said yes. So we did. And since we know which apartment is ours we spent a lot of time looking at 205!!! AMAZING!!! The living room is really small.. even smaller than Mansfield. But the apartment in general TOTALLY AMAZING AND WORTH IT! One of the best parts is (other than the stuff we already knew) is that the walls are 1) dry wall and paint, NOT cinder blocks and 2) TAN!!!!! A PRETTY TAN COLOR!!! NOT "I'M-IN-CAMPUS-HOUSING" WHITE!!!! and 3) The ceiling lights! They are NOT circle florecent hospital bug-eating machines! They're pretty! They have a swirly fog design. They PRETTYYYYYY!!!!!!

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Yesterday - class with Josh as mentioned below. Came back here for lunch (leftover hot dog and a salad). Hung out with some interns. Almost fell asleep on the bed on the porch while wearing a hoodie (it was about 90 degrees). Then went over to Mel's, bearing gifts of Taco Bell and ingredients. The ingredients eventually became chocolate chip cheesecake, though not until the entirety of the extended version of Fellowship was over. Came home. "Girl time" with Stacy Lantz on the porch. Then bed.

Today - well so far I read my email and made coffee. Next is breakfast - leftover blueberry pancakes! Then God time. The cleaning time (myself and laundry). And ladies and gentlemen it is offically going to be the best weekend of the summer! (minus when I was in NYC 'cause you can't beat NYC). Stacy Hewitt, my beloved roommate whom I haven't seen since the beginning of May is coming! Not only that... Jen Ervin, my beloved roommate whom I haven't seen since the beginning of May is coming! Not only that... (there are rumors that) Sara Spitters, my beloved Spitty whom I haven't seen since the beginning of May is coming!

Friday, July 8, 2005

Today was not the first time I thought about my previous entry. It's just been coming up a lot lately in our internship. We had a guest speaker come named Ford and he planted a church just outside Cincinnati. This church is just a group of people who share the same vision he had and they live together in a few houses and live in community with their neighbors. They hold bible studies in their home, etc and there is no Sunday morning service in a building.

And then today we had another speaker (both of these guys are friends w/ Matt) named Josh and he did something similar except they specifically chose the poorest part of town.

Also - read "No Compromise" for another example.
What if the "church" isn't a building that people go to on Sunday mornings where they sing songs and then someone talks for a 30-minutes or so. What if the "church" is a middle-class American who moves into the poorest part of his city, with his wife and a few other friends, spread out in a couple houses and they invested their lives into their neighbors, befriended them. It's happening.

Thursday, July 7, 2005

There's a person in my houe right now and her name is Mallory and she is walking around and now she is putting unlit sparklers in Jolly's face saying, "making you frustrated!!" and now Jolly is talking "darn" says Mallory.

This is the beginning of the book I'm writing - what do you think? Just kidding.
I've been updating a lot lately. Anyway, London won Host City for the 2012 Olympics - yay! When I was there EVERYWHERE you looked was an ad for you to "back the bid" - so as soon as I got home, I got online and backed the bid. Haha London is amazing....... speaking of London-

Ellie you need to update
Sarah we need to put the past behind us... the past couple reunions have been good
Mel you can't leave Anderson
Megs you have to come back to Anderson

**Edit - I just found out about the bombings. That's sad. I'm glad Ellie's not there anymore other wise I would have been worried.**

Anyway -- last night I talked to Stacy H on the phone - yay for my roomie! And last night Stacy L and I had a late night girl talk again - this time inside, on the couch. It was good. Yay for my... housie?

Thoughts lately - I recently watched Bruce Almighty (for the 4th time this summer, each time with different people) and you know how he gets angry because he feels like God is giving all these good things to everyone but him? I'm kinda feeling that lately. I'm not at all angry with God about it, because I know that His timing is perfect, but it's hard watching everyone else. Two main parts - relationships, and visions. (This is what Stacy L and I talked about last night)

Relationships - Stacy has a little crush on someone... Leslie does too (not the same guy)... Meagan has a little somethin' somethin' goin' on with a guy... Jen Brooks visited and while she was here she went on a date... Francis (neighbor) went on a couple dates this weekend... two girl interns have official boyfriends... a guy intern has a "we're talking" girl... two guy interns have official girlfriends... two guys I know are talking about proposing... a third just did...

Basically Stacy and I are just kinda like "My turn!" (we've both never had a relationship)... moving on...

Vision - So many people are getting these great visions of either a job, side job, ministry, etc. But not Stacy and I... no idea what I want to do after graduation. I know I don't need to start anything right away, but if I did, I only have 10 months to figure it out. Meagan makes amazing journals and is going to start selling them. Hunt is going to do an internship at MAC and then be a pastor. Jonah and Sara have this amazing idea of "The Front Porch" (go to Jonah's xanga and read a few entries back... June 30 I think - I LOVE this one!!!). Erin Sprunger has amazing ideas for Africa, and several other people want to go in on it with her. MY TURN GOD!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Okay, yes, it's time for another update. I have to tell you about my whitetrash moment...

Tonight I sat on the bed on the front porch eating popcorn and watching across the street at Abbot Apts (where Jen Lo Sasso used to live, for those who know her) where there were two cop cars w/ their lights on and the cops went insdie the building, and I was really hoping for an arrest. There was none.
Today's class was good - but I don't feel like summarizing it. Tonight dinner was interesting. Heather, Meagan and I were the only girls and there were about 15 guys... it became too much testosterone so after dinner I snuck away upstairs... where I'm going again in a second, I just felt like updating this when I came down to get my book. Most of the people are gone, I'm the only girl here now and Kevin is on his computer, and there's 5 or 6 guys smoking on the front porch. I MISS MY HOUSEMATES!

Meagan - not sure where she ran off to
Heather - " "
Stacy - work
Melissa - Kentucky
Audrey - Florida
Leslie - Texas

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

I realized that last night was the first time since my freshman year of High School (the summer before my freshman year) that I did not spend the 4th of July with either Ryan, Heather, Teri, or Ellie.

Anderson fireworks basically suck, especially compared to St. Joe. BUT... I still had a lot of fun. We went to the church and sat on the roof, and it was good because it's just west of downtown, kind of central, so we could see fireworks from about seven different locations. And Jeremiah was drunk... that was interesting. Drunk people on roofs is kind of scary.

Sunday, July 3, 2005

Okay so Friday night went a little different than planned (what's new there?) Instead of sardines we ended up spending $40 on Fireworks and setting them off in the church parking lot. Then came home and Stacy and I sat on the bed outside until 1:30 or 2 having girl talk... it was fun, and beautiful night.

Saturday was LONG! We all headed over to the church at 11 for our work day. I helped scrubbed clean all the walls in what is officially our church office and moved the desk in. Then I helped trim the hedges so you can see when you pull out of the parking lot. I don't remember what else I did... a few things here and there, but everything that was accomplished: cleaning out all the upstairs rooms (they had junk in them and LOTS of dust) and vaccumed, shampooed the carpet in the future nursery, washed walls and vaccumed and set up the office, started sanding the floor in the soon to be coffee lounge, swept the gym, I think there were other things too. And then we set up for the cookout we had for the neighborhood from 5-7... quite a few people came, maybe 35, mostly kids but some parents too. They're all very nice and some of the ladies are really funny.

Then Leslie and I visted Kurt at Starbucks and then stalked some people. Then we went back to the church and put away the stuff from the cookout... got home around 9:15, showered, and then Stacy and I watched Uptown Girls in the basement (where our beds are).

Church was good this morning, followed by a great dinner at Roadhouse.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Wow... it's offical that I have the best job ever. Not only do I get to play with babies and kids but then there's the days like today...

I woke up at 11 becuase I didn't set the alarm and it was raining (rain + basement = no light to wake me) and when I woke up there was a message on the machine from work and they wanted me to come in from 12-2. So I called them back and told them I could do that, and they were very glad, and she told me that I would be with the young 2's again, but that there were only 3 of them there today and that I'd be there during their nap time so I could just bring a book or something. So basically I got paid to spend 2 hours reading a book I would have been reading anyway. Woohoo!

Then I came home, etc.

Oh, last night during girl's night Katrina taught us how to make books - like for pictures or journals, etc, and it's really fun and I really like the way mine turned out, so I think at some point in time I might make more and maybe try to sell them or something... Meagan, one of my housemates, makes and sells journals... could be fun. If you want to see my journal let me know, but you're not allowed to open it anymore because I started writing in it today.