Thursday, June 30, 2005

Wow... it's offical that I have the best job ever. Not only do I get to play with babies and kids but then there's the days like today...

I woke up at 11 becuase I didn't set the alarm and it was raining (rain + basement = no light to wake me) and when I woke up there was a message on the machine from work and they wanted me to come in from 12-2. So I called them back and told them I could do that, and they were very glad, and she told me that I would be with the young 2's again, but that there were only 3 of them there today and that I'd be there during their nap time so I could just bring a book or something. So basically I got paid to spend 2 hours reading a book I would have been reading anyway. Woohoo!

Then I came home, etc.

Oh, last night during girl's night Katrina taught us how to make books - like for pictures or journals, etc, and it's really fun and I really like the way mine turned out, so I think at some point in time I might make more and maybe try to sell them or something... Meagan, one of my housemates, makes and sells journals... could be fun. If you want to see my journal let me know, but you're not allowed to open it anymore because I started writing in it today.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

urrently Reading
Searching for God Knows What
By Donald Miller
see related

This summer has been so amazing I just wish I had better words to describe it with.

Yesterday was such a great day... I was so at peace... mellow in a good way.

Woke up around 9:30 then just played a little. Then we went over to the church to pass out flyers to the community about our cookout that we're having Saturday. The people who live over there are really nice, it was fun to meet some of them. But it was FREAKIN' HOT outside... in the 90's. Came home for lunch and to relax, then it rained and cooled down quite a bit. Leslie had to go back to the church to get some Mary Kay stuff to mail to a client, and meanwhile I swung in the rain - AMAZING!

Came home and just relaxed, read a little bit, enjoyed the rain and the cool weather. Cooked chicken quesidillas for dinner.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

This morning - French Toast at Conner's house followed by a discussion on the hardening of our hearts... it was a good discussion.

Came home.. went to campus to make fliers for our church's community cookout on July 2nd.. had issues there so it took awhile... went to the church to make copies... and eat freeze popsicle things... came home, cleaned the bathrooms with Leslie (they were gross) and then started cooking dinner for lotsa people (pasta)...

Later got a phone call from Chad Hacker... Emma had just gone to sleep and Tori just fed and he and Cherie wanted like 30 min to themselves so Stacy and I went over to play with baby Tori... only two weeks old! I love it. She made a loud poo too haha. Funtimes. Yay babies.

Then Starbucks to visit Kurt Rahn and get drinks (I got a cold non-coffee drink b/c I didn't want caffeine). Then home and I played with Stacy's keyboard. Now she's joined facebook.


Saturday, June 25, 2005

You can tell I saw DeeDee yesterday... I have a nice new set of bruises.

Going to see Traci and Lisa today, should be good...

Friday, June 24, 2005

Excellent class today. I hate calling it class because it's not really. Talked about integrity. Talked about failure. Failure is good.

Need to process it.

Tomorrow I'm going to Fort Wayne to hang out with two amazing girls I haven't seen in a long time. Yay for freshman year friends! Speaking of... saw Angie at dinner yesterday, haven't seen her in awhile either.

It's weird how things come full circle sometimes, like how I'm living with Audrey and Heather right now and they were on my freshman floor. And other things. Okay....

This is a weird post, sorry... thoughts changing faster than fingers can type.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Yesterday we went to the Reds game in Cincinnati. I don't like baseball but it was a good time to hang out with everyone and I got a nice sunburn and they won, so I guess yay for them.

This morning (7:30) I went into work with the 2 year olds - it was fun. Got off at noon then came back to the house and hung out with Mallory and Leslie, then Leslie, Stacy and I went to get stuff so Stacy could make cheesecake for Nathan's birthday today. Shh don't tell him (about the cheesecake. He probably already knows it's his birthday).

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

What a day... I wasn't sure what time it all started because Audrey borrowed my alarm clock, but I know she was still sleeping and that she wakes up early, so it had to be freakin' early. (Later I found out it was a little before 6 am.) So anyway, I'm lying there awake (down in the basement) and I hear what I SWEAR was a gunshot. I started freaking out. I knew there were people upstairs sleeping and my mind was very irrational - 6 am... I started wondering if someone shot someone else (some apartments across the street are pretty shady) or even if someone shot themselves (not necessarily a housemate, just in general). Then a few minutes later I heard someone pounding on our door and I freaked out even more, this time wondering if we were going to be robbed or something. (I don't like early mornings and strange sounds). Then people start mumbling and someone was running up and down the stairs (from 1st to 2nd not from 1st to basement) and Audrey woke up. I told her I heard a gunshot and had no idea what was going on and I told her she should pray (I already had been). Stacy slept through the whole thing. Then Audrey said she had to get up soon anyway so she went upstairs and came back down and told me and Stacy that the police were here and she thought that a neighor shot a deer and put it in front of Megan's car. That's not really what had happened....

Picture 9 girls (we had 2 guests last night) sitting on the front porch watching this cop stare at a baby deer he had shot, which was lying in front of Megan's car. Apparently a lady who lives near us had gone for a walk and saw this deer lying there and assumed the car next to it hit it and didn't report it (it was not fully dead at the time and she didn't want it to suffer) and so she called the police. So Officer Clementine (do you know him roomie??) came and he shot the deer so it wouldn't suffer. Then he rudely acused Megan of being the one that hit the deer. We were all witnesses to the fact that she had parked her car there at 8:30pm last night and had not moved it since. She was being pretty calm about it but Audrey was getting mad b/c he was being so rude about it and Melissa was just pissed in general. He claimed it had to have been Megan because there was fur and blood on her car.

Megan was drinking a mug of tea and he asked it if was coffee and when we said no he asked if he could have a cup of coffee (I guess he had joked to Audrey asking her what we would do if he asked and she said we would probably make a pot of it) so when he asked, Audrey was right, we made a pot. Finally he came to the conclusion that the blood and fur probably got on her car when he shot it. So he called some guy to come take the deer away.

A random old man shows up in a red pick up (at this point several neighbors are out watching) and with bear hands begins to gut the deer (Audrey took a picture with my digital hahaha) and throw the guts on our lawn (but later puts them in a garbage bag) and then picks the deer up and drains the blood - again in our yard. He throws the deer in his truck and then walks in our house to wash off his hands. Officer Clementine tells us that the firemen will come and wash the blood out of our yard and if they don't show up before noon for us to call.

So this all ended around 7:30 am and I went back to bed at 8 and woke up at 11. This afternoon the firemen still hadn't come so Leslie called and they showed up. One of the neighbors was watching the firemen with a look of "now what?" on his face and I also took pictures of them washing our lawn.

Yet another crazy day at the intern house...
Good couple of days. Here's a quick rundown - if you don't care about the day-to-day activities, go ahead and scroll down to the bottom of the entry for other things.

Sunday - Went to church. Very good sermon, "The Dark Night of the Soul" - talked about how Jesus won the battle when he prayed the "if you can take this cup from me..." prayer, but drank from the cup regardless. We talked about how that's where we can identify with Christ. After church came home and made pasta for myself and Melissa Kae and took it over to the QME studio so she could eat. Came home and hung out with the roommates and the guys - don't remember exactly what we did, but it was relaxing.

Monday - Internship class in the morning. Matt's friend Ford came and talked about his church - it's really cool, it's a bunch of house churches and it was good. After class came home and had lunch and crocheted a bit. Stacy and I played the "fall asleep while watching a movie" game - its our favorite. Then the guys came over and we hung out with them, and then people started showing up for dinner - we had curry again, but a different kind than last time. It wasn't as good this time. It didn't have as much flavor. After dinner some of us sat around and talked about stuff and then Stacy and I watched Mr. Holland's Opus then went to bed.

Today - Funny. Right before I started typing this Stacy asked me what I did today. I woke up around 9 and called work to see if they needed me, but the person who gives me hours wasn't in yet. So then I took a shower and had breakfast and called back and she was very excited that I was available because they really needed me. So I went in and played with 2 year olds - one girl sneezed and hit her head on a shelf and it made a little cut by her eye, another girl tried to eat crayons, and three girls wouldn't take their naps. Who doesn't like to nap? Then I walked home for lunch (PB&J, applesauce, some cashews, and some chocolate covered raisins), then went back and played with 2 year olds again until 4:15. Then I walked home and Melissa and I walked over to Mocha Joes - had a good talk on the way - got free eskimocha's because she knew the guy working- and walked back. Now I'm doing this and soon I need to go help make dinner for 20-something people (it's grilled cheese and tomato soup night - yes it's hot outside for soup but hey that's what we planned a week ago).

So non-daily activity post -

Thoughts - that Melissa helped bring to mind. She asked what I was struggling with. I told her it was being open with people. If someone asks I have no problem sharing, but I don't volunteer information. She asked why not. I said it was because I feel like when someone asks, because they ask they actually want to know, but if I share, it's not a sense of rejection but just that they won't respond because they weren't expecting it or something like that. One the way back from MJ's she asked me another question that made me realize what it really is - it makes it real. For example, a couple days ago I was sitting on the porch with Leslie and I started talking to her about my dad getting married. I haven't allowed myself to feel it, but because I started talking about it, it made me start to feel - so I stopped talking about it. Melissa and I had a good convo about it, although it was short. I'm really thankful for this summer and the way things have been working out and the way relationships have been formed. These are girls that, some of them, I would not have gotten to know or been friends with. God definately placed us all here, each with our own stories and scars to help heal each other.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

Definition of a good Saturday ~ Sleeping in until 11, pancake breakfast, crocheting while watching He-Man, watching Zoolander, late lunch at IHOP to visit roommate Melissa (she's a waitress there), taking food over to Chad and Cherie Hacker (they have a 6-day old baby named Tori) hanging out with Leslie, Stacy, Stephanie, Kevin, Steven, Kris, and Matt, playing Apples to Apples, Nintendo, other card games.
Yesterday I went to the circus. Yes, it's true. I'm twenty-two years old and went to the circus on a Friday night. I went with Audrey and Kurt, and we met up with Audrey's co-worker Stacy and her three daughters. The tickets for adults were $22 but we went for free because Stacy had like 50 free tickets because she's a reporter. That's really the only reason we went - it was free. So we drove to Muncie and it was at a really nice convention center. Kinda weird. There were no animals, it was all people. I really wonder how some of those people had any dignity. Haha... it was fun. The little girl sitting next to Kurt growled at him. Yeah. True story.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

I ended up writing six pages in my journal yesterday while lying on the bed outside on the porch (okay, I just like to mention that we have a bed on our front porch hahaha... it's a GREAT place to lie and journal, especially when there's a nice breeze like yesterday). Anyway... here's part of my journal from yesterday... Well, actually let me set it up first. The majority of it is me summarizing what we talked about in my internship class yesterday and then also I quote from the Kieth Green book (which I finished and it's amazing) -

HE HAS NOT CALLED ME TO BE STABLE, STAGNENT WATER! I need to be the church for my community Monday-Saturday. What does that look like for me? I need to be the Hospitality of Christ. The first step is to recognize the hurt around me. How can I recognize the hurt around me when I'm ignoring the hurt within? I refuse to acknowledge that yesterday (Tuesday) I got a step-mother. How can I acknowledge the pain within when I ignore my Creator? I ache to have the relationship that Jacob had. He wrestled with God - walked away with a limp but in the process really knew who God was. Knew Him! I want the heart and passion of Keith Green! His community and faith were so real. I want to pray his prayer and make it my own heart's cry:

"We are nothing but dust. Our lives are not ours. Our bodies are not ours. Our future is in your hands. The Lord is making me ready to die completely - I don't deserve to live - so come Spirit of the Holy God - live inside of me. There is no joy left in life but to realize I am nothing and let God be what He is - all. Tears cannot express nor laughter his grace/gifts. I am his. Please [Holly]! Don't ever go back - look up. It's time to go. Control my life with your Spirit. Control the sheeps lives with your Spirit - and if you use me, let me give thanks to you!! For you're the only true God and Savior!! Hallelujah! Let me continue to grow less important to me. I am so blind. Help me see. My Jesus, please pour your strong life out on me because I've grown so hard, cold, and 'spiritual'. I'm almost dead... I need and desire to be close to you. I want it!! So bad! Just to please you. I need to know your heart, Lord. I don't want to be a Pharisee! Please God, you know I'm serious about this. Send your angel to answer." - Keith Green

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Okay this is just here to say that I've been procrastinating the processing process and I need to go do that. So much to journal (and by that I mean pen and paper) and think about and yeah... maybe later today or tomorrow I'll post some of it.

Sri Lanken food is excellent. We (Meagan, Leslie, Erin, Steven, and myself) made chicken curry and pineapple chutny for 20 people last night. So freakin' good. I'm copying the recipe and roommates - we'll have it next year, okay?

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Why is the One I ignore the most the One who longs for me more than anyone, the One who deserves me more than anyone, the One who loves me more than anyone?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Reflections on the day...

Today in class we started by playing the game "Honey, If You Love Me"... yes it was jouvinile (did I spell that right?) Abby... if you're reading this, I pulled the whole "I love you. I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you..." and got someone to crack a smile.

We then transitioned into what worked to get people to smile. You have to be creative. You can't just go striaght to the point. You need to tailor it to the person, which requires knowing the person. We then translated that into how we need to present the Gospel to the culture of the community surrounding The Mercy House.

After class we started "debating" whether we wanted to have a Sunday night worship time and if so, would it be every Sunday and would it be interns only or open to the church. We realized this was being debated because of a bigger issue of some people not feeling like our sense of community is what we wanted from the beginning. We need to be intentional. We need time to voice our hurts and frustrations with each other. This time cannot be scheduled, it needs to happen, and that can only happen if we live inentionally.

Came back to the house for lunch. There was a note on the front porch for Matt. He read it to us. It was from a guy who has been attending our church (Matt didn't tell us the name) and he said that he had gotten caught up in the wrong crowd, had been drinking and doing drugs, had a bad relationship with a girl, etc. Had been searching for God on his own and has felt like all the sermons at TMH have been aimed directly at him and he wants so badly to feel like a part of the community.

We keep throwing that word around, but do we really know what it means?

Later this afternoon we went back over to the church to hang out. There were some kids on the playground and I started swinging with them. I started talking to one of the girls, she's going into 4th grade. She was telling me how her sister is 22 and has a baby. She said she wanted to go to college and be a teacher and a doctor. She asked if we owned the playground. I told her we bought the building (for those who don't know it's an old elementary school) and that the playground was part of it, but they could use it whenever they wanted. She asked if we were in high school. I told her we were in college. I told her that the guys lived in the building. She told me her stomach hurt. She told me she needs help with math and science but she likes spelling. She told me next fall her teacher is going to be Miss Brown and she asked if I had her. I told her I lived in Michigan.

I realized that so many Christians (myself included) feel like they can go on a trip to NYC or DC (or anywhere else) and hang out with some underprivilaged kids there and feel good about themselves. There are kids who are just as hurting in our own towns. Get out there and hang out with them! It's not that hard.

Oh and I got to hang out with Shannon for a bit today. I like her. She's cool. (She went on the trip, we bonded, and she is dating Chris, one of the interns, and her brother, Steven, lives w/ the guys though he is not an intern and is at our house a lot. Like right now. Playing the guitar. I like the sound).

Thursday, June 9, 2005

My thoughts on Cedar Point...

We got there around 10am Ohio time. It was already 88 degrees. We hit the Raptor right away... awesome! I was in a great mood, all excited about being there. Everyone wanted to do Millenium Force next. The past two times I was there I chickened out. Not this time. So we're standing in line (which was not too bad of a wait... only 40 minutes or so) and I'm hot and therefore irritable. So I don't really care about the fact that I'm about to ride this. Like I'm glad I'm doing it but I'm too hot to be nervous. But then I think to myself "what's going on? I'm always hot at C.P." but yeah... It's our turn. We sit in the train, get straped in. Then we sit and wait before they start us, and I think to myself, "Oh shit!" and then we go. Up.. up.. up.. and DOWN! And I screamed a lot but it was not NEAR as bad as I was expecting it to be. It was great, I loved it.

Well, as I said we were all hot so we decided it would be a good time to go on the water ride, since we were already there. We went on the one with the big round tube. I got soaked... we all did. It felt great. Then we decided, time for lunch. So we walked back out to the car because to save money we made PB&J sandwhiches. We ate them, they had been in the trunk all morning and so the PB side of bread was near toast and the jelly side was warm and gooey bread. Interesting, yet surprisingly good. I was already burnt, put some sunscreen on. We went back to the park. Conner, Kat, Melissa, Kurt, Jolly, and Parliment wanted to ride MaxAir, a more carnival-type ride that would probably make them puke their PBJ's... which is why I chose not to ride it at that time. They didn't puke, which is good. After they road that we went on Disaster Transport, and indoor roller coaster. We waited in line for a long time, but the ride was really short and not all that fun. If I had remembered that, I wouldn't have gone. I noticed that I was still irritable, even when we were inside the line for Transport, which had A/C and I was cold b/c I was still a little wet. I went to the bathroom and found out why... a girl thing, I think you know what I mean.

Those who don't like roller coasters all that much went their own way, and the rest of us (myself, Conner, Jolly, Kurt, Parliment, Melissa and Kat) went to hit the big ones. We wanted to do Top Thrill Dragster next. But on the way we saw the Power Tower and decided to do that. We chose the side that shoots you up really fast 250 ft (as opposed to thrusting you down really fast). It was great.

Next: the dragster. Last time I was there the wait was 3.5 hours because it was new that year. This time, only 1/2 hour. That was the most miserable 30 min of my day (so far)... heat + cramps + a few nerves = not fun. We got in the train - Melissa and Kurt were in front of me and Parliment was next to me. The others would be on the next train. You sit there strapped in for a LONG time before they take you up. For those who don't know what this ride is, go to the website and check b/c I won't describe it properly. Melissa started cussing. They have a three yellow lights and a green light. So you watch them change and so you expect it to start, but it's still so freakin' fast that it surprises you. So you scream when you start, you scream when you're going straight up, and you scream when you're going straight down. On the way down I did notice a blue haze...

Major adrenaline rush afterwards. Great pic of Conner. (No I didn't buy it).

So then we got done with that and the non-riders called us and asked us to meet them at a certain place. So we did, it was about 4pm. We noticed rides weren't going. We asked an employee why and he said that there was a huge storm coming through and it was already lightning on the other side of the park. He said b/c of the lake storms usually only last 30 minutes or so. There was a show on the other side that some people wanted to see (some 60's something). So we walked over there, got drenched (had just gotten dry from the water ride). And it was cold. We waited until 5:45 and realized it wasn't going to stop storming any time soon, and that we still had a 4 hour drive. So we left. So we didn't get to ride a whole lot but what we did ride was great.. I'm glad I did Millenium and Dragster. And when we left it was 66 degrees - it dropped 22 degrees. We were cold and tired and yeah. So we stopped at a hotel to change into our clothes from the night before.

That's all.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005

I changed to green. Obviously. And I made all the posts from finals week and before then to private just to "clean" things up a bit.

Gene and Tabatha just sat behind me in the lab. They are back from San Antonio and offically engaged now. On the trip Gene was telling us about how he was going to propose and it was the first time I had heard it from a guy's perspective of "I'm going to" and not a girl's perspective of "when is he" or "he said he would" or "why isn't he.." etc.

I decided that I'm officially in the best internship ever. Not only are our classes beyond amazing, we're also still in the beginning stages of our "church life"... still less than 1 year old, the first set of interns, our first building, etc. And from a completely shallow aspect: free housing, 4 free meals a week, free trip to Cedar Point tomorrow (cost of travel today, food, lodging tonight, all covered), free Reds game, free latte's whenever we want... yeah it's a good thing.

Here's to Gene and Tabatha!

Monday, June 6, 2005

A small two-letter word that Americans overlook, but if we really lived it, then it would transform our lives...


Thursday, June 2, 2005

Currently Reading
No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green
By Melody Green, David Hazard
see related

I love spring rain.

And this book is good. All the interns are reading it, but we're not reading it for the internship if that makes sense. Matt gave us all copies b/c he said it's one of his favorites and he doesn't know anyone who has read it and has not put it in their top 2 books.

We have a mouse in the house. We named him Howie. I heard him running around upstairs when I was downstairs sleeping. That was a few days ago. Now I JUST saw him run by. My first time seeing him. He just went downstairs now. He's adorable! I don't want to kill him. How do you get rid of a mouse without killing it? I don't want mouse poop on my bed!

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

I've been reflecting and processing what I saw on my trip. I've been reflecting and processing the internship thus far (first class was today and.... wow).

We are bound by language. We consume our lives with words that do little justice to what we think, feel, experience. How can I share everything that's happened and how God has been streaching me when all I have are meaningless words?