Post Christmas Post

Greetings. Christmas was good, minus the lack of snow and the prescence of an annoying 8-year old cousin, whom NOBODY likes.

As far as my gifts go, even my mom said it was more like a bridal shower (no I'm not engaged, that confused a few friends when I said that). Most of my gifts were things for my apartment.

I had a good time here at home, there are few people I wish I had the chance to see, but schedules conflicted. And in an hour and a half (mind you it's 4:30 am my time) my mom and grandma and I will be on our way to Nashville. It's going to be a 10 hour drive since my grandma is in tow (she's slow and will need several extra potty breaks). And unfortunately for me, my iPod is acting up and it will not be able to entertain me. The fam will be down there tonight, tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday. Which will be a little crazy because I work tomorrow and Friday, and also on Friday Stacy H is coming down to visit me.

Which makes me very happy! I haven't seen her since homecoming and we're going to attempt to go salsa dancing, and also attempt to shut down a Mexican restaurant and turn it into a salsa club. We will also ring in the new year in a way we have not yet planned. Maybe she can help me consume the Mike's in my fridge or the Tabor Hill wines I bought yesterday. (Side note: Martin's carded me, which is good. But I have yet to get carded in Tennessee).

I don't know how to end this post.

ALMOST CHRISTMAS!

So the past week in a nutshell:

Friday - Got to hang out with Miss Lantz and Mr. and Mrs. Conner at good ole Fido - it sure was great to see them.

Saturday - Christmas party at a friend's house. She and her sister were the only two people I knew. I started the party off with a margarita, had no food yet, didn't feel anything, drank a second and DEFINATELY felt that one and after a few more hours had her new concoction: a Merry Catherine. The name is because 1) they are catholic and 2) she made it for her sisiter whose name is Catherine and 3) Merry because it had a christmas tree stir-er stick thing. It was 1 shot raspberry vodka 1 shot peach schnapps and sierra mist and marichino cherry juice with cherry and lime garnish. Well done Miss Levins, well done.

(side note - earlier last week we had our work Christmas party and my boss gave us all a little bottle of peppermint schnapps. So weird as an ex-AU-er and ex Park Place employee)

Um okay so that's all that's been exciting. Here's a little list....



Things I Like

-Coffee
-Tennessee
-Xanga
-Seeing old friends
-Living on my own
-Holding a warm cup of joe, even if the joe is all gone
-The warm bottle of soapy water at work
-New shampoo and toothpaste
-Making non-verbs into verbs (ie when getting m&ms from a vending machine, one is going to "vend" m&ms)

Things I Don't Like

-Miss Hewitt not xangaing
-People who "hover" for parking spots - especially when the owner of the exiting car isn't even to their car yet
-I had a list in my mind of other things but now I forgot

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow: A Tender Tennessee Christmas

Well, I thought the weather in the midwest was weird, but I guess I was wrong.

Tuesday through Thursday this week in middle Tennessee were in the mid-seventies, and then Yesterday during my morning commute there were flurries coming my way and I believe the low was in the 20's. Flurries are nothing but it still made me excited because I miss snow so much! There is something fundamentally wrong about driving to the store to buy a Christmas tree well past sundown, and still having your sunroof open.

I bought myself an artificial tree. I thought about getting a real one because they smell so Christmasy and wonderful, but I knew I wouldn't be able to put it up myself and I'm still haunted by the last time my family purchased one - there wasn't a single needle left by Christmas Eve. So I am now the proud owner of a 7.5 foot slim Rocky Mountain Pine which is now decked in 300 blue mini lights, 30 little white snowflakes,18 pale blue transparent snowflakes, 15 royal blue glittery snowflakes, 10 white sparkle snowflakes, 10 clear sparkle snowflakes, and one big silver snowflake tree topper. I love my tree! Perhaps next week sometime I'll post a picture.

Two days in a row? How can that be?

In a few hours I'll begin my long trek back to Nashville. As soon as my mom gets home from work she's taking me over to Chicago and we're going to try to meet my brother for dinner, and then to the airport I go. I think I should be home around 9:30 Central Time. Then it's back to reality.

It's always nice to have a break from the routine. The real world doesn't offer enough breaks. Missing fall break, not having a month off for Christmas, and no spring break! I guess I just need to get a job at a college, hahaha.

Yesterday I went through and read SO many xanga's. I hadn't read anybody's since mid-August and so I just went through and did it! I skipped some and skimmed others, but most of them I read pretty thoroughly. I think I need to make a weekly or maybe bi-weekly trip to the library just to keep up to date with everyone.

It was good to be home this weekend, but it was weird being in my bedroom without any of my stuff. This room (the computer is in my old room) used to have my dresser, my bed, my nightstand, and so many books and candles and other little things that belonged to me. And then this summer since I was a vagabond I had boxes full of shoes and clothes and whatnot filling the room. Now it's just this computer and a little table my mom bought me at a garage sale, which I can't take home until Christmas, because getting that on the plane would be ridiculous.

Forver later here I am again on Xanga. I still don't have internet and I don't think I'll be getting any time soon, so that's why I've been xanga-mia. A plane, two trains, and a short car ride later I have come home for Thanksgiving. I'm flying back to Nashville on Monday.

Life is going good, I'm loving Tennessee and I like my job, but I do miss a lot of people from Anderson, so my theory is that everybody should just move to Nashville. And I miss salsa dancing a lot too. It seems like when I xanga'd all the time I always had something to say but now that I haven't posted in a month I got nothing. Maybe just because I feel like since I've been absent for so long I should come back with something worthwhile. Well, I don't really have anything worthwhile for you today. Maybe another month of absence will give me time to come up with something.

So it's been a month. I still don't have internet, but I am living in my own apartment now, and not bumming off Stacy. Homecoming was good. I still love it down here and y'all need to visit soon.



Umm... I know, my post is short but I'm on borrowed internet time and so there's lots of emails to read and such.

I'm going to try to have internet by october.

I got a library card for all the Nashville (Davidson County) public libraries. I'm official.

One Step At A Time

Moving here has been quite the adventure. Last week when I was home I so eagerly anticipated meeting people, seeing Stacy, finding a job and an apartment. And only a week later it has happened. I'm so grateful for how quickly everything has fallen into place. As I said yesterday, I move into my apartment on September 26th. That gives me one month. One month to prepare to live by myself. And the apartment is a bit far (about 15 miles) away from where Stacy lives and her roommates, who are really the only people I've met so far. Of course I hope to get to know my neighbors when I move in - I think there are a lot of families in the complex. And I know I'll get to know my coworkers when I start my job on Monday - Susan, the director who interviewed me seemed really nice and I'm sure everyone else is too. How mean can you be if you play with kids for a living? (Okay yes some people are still mean but I think when you add in southern hospitality the chances are even lower).

I have a 12-month lease for my own apartment without any roommates, and it's one bedroom so if I had a roommate it'd be tight anyway. I always said I never wanted to live alone. I enjoy having roommates but I think I am looking forward to this. It'll force me to become more independant and I look forward to the apartment being in whatever state I choose for it to be. After the 12 months is over I may choose to keep living by myself or I may choose to find a roommate, besides Stacy Hewitt has no choice but to move down here by then. Really, she doesn't.

I haven't done anything fun or exciting yet since I've been here. I've been so busy job hunting and apartment hunting and then the free time that I have had the girls at the apartment haven't been around, and I don't really know any places to go. They told me about a really good coffee shop down the street called Fido. Surprisingly enough, I have not checked it out yet. Perhaps I will later this afternoon. I have frequented Panera for their internet. I bought some groceries. Nothing exciting. Maybe today I'll drive around a bit and see what I can find, especially now that I am somewhat familiar with the main roads, and I'm not afraid to ask how to get to them.

I think that's it for now.

Not having internet has not been an easy thing. Today I went to the library to use their internet so I could turn in stuff for my independant study and they are closed on Friday. So now I'm at Starbucks and I had to buy a drink and then I had to buy a day pass thing for $10 to use the 'net. I never knew that before. Otherwise I would have hit up Panera. Ah well... onto some good news:

~I officially am employed! I had a job offer on Wednesday (that's right, only three days into my move) and I actually turned them down for a different job that was offered to me today. At the school I turned down I would have been working with 16-24 month olds and at the school I am working at I'll be floating between two of their FOUR infant rooms. I'll be working with babies that are 6 weeks to 6 months old. And this school has a 401k which the other didn't. And they are giving me health/vision/dental insurance. So woohoo for that. I start Monday.

AND...

~Today I was approved for the apartment I want. I can't move in until September 26th though, but still. My own apartment! Exciting times my friends, exciting times.

So that means at least a month until I have regular access to internet again. In the meantime I'm thankful for my laptop and wireless card and for a big city with lots of coffee shops that have internet.

I'm loving Nashville, even though I haven't really done anything yet that I couldn't have done in Anderson.

Tonight ends my second full day in Nashville. So far I have turned in 5 resumes, gotten 4 job interviews lined up, and I've looked at 5 apartments.



Going well I'd say.

I have one more suitcase and my laptop to put in my car and then I'm Nashville-bound!

Busy Week

The past week was as follows:

Monday - went to the fair
Tuesday - painted the family room
Wednesday - went sail-boat racing at sunset, the boat we were on won
Thursday - went to Shipshewana (Amish Country) then took the dog to the dog park
Friday - went to Michigan's Adventure
Today - packing
Tomorrow - moving to Tennessee!

I'm Old

Today my mom discovered something.

My first gray hair.

I made her pull it out.

Four

It is my favorite number. I deemed it so long ago when I realized it was the only number which had the same number of letters as itself. Meaning, there are four letters in the word "four". And no, "to" doesn't count.



It is also the number of years I have made Anderson my home.

The number of autumns I have loved with the help of the golden-red valley.

The number of times (well, times two semesters) I have eagerly awaited to see who would be in my classes.

The number of campus housings I have lived in.

The number of campus mailboxes I have had.

The number of winters I neglected to go sledding down the library hill.



The number of days I have left to be here.

Can I just say that when you are staying with someone for two weeks before you move and while you are staying with them they move, it gets a little crazy.

For Karen

This is my gift to you:

"I want somebody to quote me when I'm dead.... yeah.. I want to be quotable...." - Keren Berrios, as written on Facebook

You've been quoted, but more importantly you've been forever etched into the hearts of many. Although we are all sad to see you go, we know you're life is a blessing even in your death. We love you Keren.

Moving, moving, and yes, more moving

I've moved a lot in my life for someone who has lived in the same house for twenty-two years. Kind of. Here's a quick run-down of my moving experiences, for those who care. If you don't care, then don't read this post, but still give me advice on the previous post, since no one has yet.

~1983-1984lived in a small house in the Joe.
~1984-2006 a bigger house down the street from the old house. I only live there still according to permanent address, driver's liscence, and the fact that I have belongings there.
~2002 Moved to Martin Hall @ AU
~summer 2003 moved back home
~2003 Moved to Myers Hall @ AU
~summer 2004 moved back home
~2004 Moved to Mansfield Apartments @ AU
~summer 2005 moved some stuff home
~that summer moved some stuff to Conner's garage
~that summer moved to Delaware Courts
~that summer moved to the intern house
~that summer moved back to Delaware Courts
~2005 moved to Fair Commons
~2006 moved home
~2006 moved to Arbor Village
~2006 moved to The Lemon Peel
~this weekend moving back to Arbor Village
~in two weeks moving back to Michigan
~one week later moving to Nashville, TN
~hopefully no longer than a month later moving to a different place in Nashville, TN

Also, so far I have lived with 24 people (for at least 2 weeks) and about 22 animals (2 dogs, 2 cats, 1 turtle, several fish and a litter of hamsters)

I can also carry two babies at once, feed two babies at once, and although I might have lost my mind in the process I have had significant training in case I ever become a single mother of quadrouplet infants. Let's just pray that never happens.

Living on My Own

I've never lived on my own before. I've always either had family or a roommate, or lots of roommates. I'm trying to decide if I want to live on my own when I get to Nashville or try to find a roommate. Besides the most obvious pro/con of roommates being cheaper, I'm faced with the following thoughts:

-Having a roommate would be nice in a new city
-I would most likely not know the roommate before living with them, which could be risky
-Living on my own would help me gain independence
-I could decorate how ever I want
-I could be as messy or as clean as I want
-I wouldn't have to share TV time or bathroom time
-If I lived alone I could end up hermitting myself and being lonely and bored
-Although it might force me to get out and do stuff more

Advice/thoughts from those who have or do live by themselves?

There's a day care in Nashville that I've been talking with back and forth about working there. I had a brief phone interview in like March and then they told me to call them when I was in Nashville and that they'd stay in touch. Then in June they emailed me saying they had an infant room position open, but I had just agreed to sublease for two months, and I didn't want to back out on that to move yet. I emailed them again last week telling them when specifically I was going to be in Nashville. Now they emailed me back saying they do still have an infant room opening and as soon as I get to Nashville if the position is still open they want to schedule a face-to-face interview.

So here's hoping they have an opening still come mid-August. The place has great benefits including health and eye insurance, tax reductions on commuting costs, paid vacation and holiday time.

Thank you to my good friend Leslie for reminding me what taking risks is about.

When you take a risk you really have no choice but to trust God. Okay, maybe you do have a choice. But that's what I choose.

Indiana, Michigan, Tennessee

Indiana

Life here in Indiana is going fairly well. The weather has been nice and cool, which is good because it saves money on not having turned on the central air at the house yet, which can get up to $30 a month with 6 people living here, I've been told. Community dinners are good, too with lots of neighborhood kids showing up. And a weekly girl's night has been started.

Also, yesterday two of my books arrived. I'm doing a few reading courses this summer until I officially get my diploma. Now that books are coming in, I have no excuse to not be doing them.

Stacy H, the old roomie, and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest last night/this morning. It started at 12:03 and the theatre was packed, with some people trying their best Jack Sparrow impersonation. We got out at 2:45 and I crashed at Stacy's. Didn't actually get to sleep until 3:30ish and woke up at 6:30 to be rush hour back to Anderson.

Work is going well. I love it still, even though some kids are a bit ornery (cough cough Will cough cough Jesse).

Michigan

I've been xanga-MIA for a week or so because I had a long weekend. Monday and Tuesday the day care was closed for the 4th. So Friday night I went home for the weekend. Every time I go back up to Michigan I love it more and more - as a place to visit - and each time I'm equally glad that I don't still live there. I just miss living so close to the lake. I had a goal to go to the beach every day that weekened. It didn't happen, thanks be to the weather.

Friday I got there too late, like 11pm. But Saturday it was sunny and REALLY hot, but it was my friend Jeff's wedding. The thing about Jeff is, I don't ever remember not knowing him. His family moved into a house a block down the road from the house I grew up in, when I was three. He and my brother met at school and so then our mom's met, and so did his sister Libby and myself. In elementary John (my bro) and Jeff were inseperable, as were Libby and I, and our moms. In junior high they moved to Ohio, and then by high school they were back in Michigan. Libby and I are still friends and still get together almost every time I'm home, but after they moved back to Michigan we weren't best friends anymore. Still friends, just not best. It happens. John and Jeff drifted apart too, and actually the wedding was the first time I had seen Jeff in a couple of years. But seeing him get married was just another realization of how we're all growing up. Memories of him picking Libby's nose came rushing back. Memories are good.

Sunday it rained a bit, but I had my lucky umbrella. Now, I don't really believe in luck but it's fun to say it's my lucky umbrella. I bought it in Japan because it was way awesome and cheap, but I haven't really used it yet! Yes, there have been rainy days but either I don't have the umbrella on me or it's just sprinkling. But whenever I do grab the umbrella because it looks like rain, I don't end up needing it. So it rained on our way up to South Haven, MI but quit by the time we got up there. We were there to see the art fair. Which, by the way, made me realize how badly I really do want to do photography.

And no trip to South Haven is complete without a visit to Sherman's ice cream.

Sunday evening the sun started peeking back out and my mom and I did get a chance to make a few laps at the yacht club swimming pool.

Monday it rained and was kind of chilly all day. Mom and I saw The Lake House, it's good. The rain cleared off in time for Monday-night fireworks off of the pier, but not before lightning hit some girl and her grandma, so the newspapers say.

Tuesday morning was breakfast with mom, Libby, and her mom. Good times had by all. Tuesday afternoon I finally got to hit up the beach - Lincoln Township to be exact. But only for about an hour. It was perfect weather and there were some waves which made it swimmable, but not boring. But the water was c-c-c-cold. But I got an hour of tanning time in.

Tennessee

It's official. I'm moving to Nashville, Tennessee the weekend of Aug 11th. Do I have a place to live? Kinda. Do I have a job? No. Am I going anyway? Yes. Do I have a reason? Because I can.

I'm finally completely unpacked and organized and the room is very clean! Hopefully it can last the whole summer.

Salsa dancing tomorrow night (Thursday) - my first time since finals week. I'm excited!

And I have a new Friends friend.

First it was Ryan, then Jen E, now my Friends watching friend is Jen B. We just finished season 1 disc 1 tonight and this summer we're going through all of them (I own all but season 5). Saturday we're having a marathon from noonish until whenever.

My Job, My Social Life, and My Free Time

1. My Job - I really realized how blessed I am to have the job I do. I could complain that I am only making $5.78 (yes, I know that's random) an hour, or that I'm getting half the hours I'm supposed to be getting (because we have half the number of babies enrolled... we need 8, and have 4), however today I was able to look past that. I absolutely love my job, which in and of itself is the biggest blessing possible when it comes to working, at least in my opinion. And the low numbers of babies is kind of nice because I get to give more individual attention to the ones that are there. And today I realized even the little things about my job are worth giving praise, for example the fact that while gas prices continue to rise, I live a mere 5 minute walk a way.

2. My Social Life - Right now I'm still unpacking, but should be done tomorrow. This means I will hopefully soon be able to actually spend some time with my housemates and get to know them, although two are in Guatemala right now. Also social time recently has included community dinners. While very unlike last year's community dinners (as this year's interns and internship is very unlike last year's), it is still a good thing and is not something that should be compared anyway. There are racial and socio-economic barriers being broken. The simple greeting of a little neighbor girl today was really something much, much bigger. "Where did all these kids come from? I was only gone a week." asks Davo. "Word on the street says there's free food and a place to play basketball." Melissa replies.

Also in the social life category, Thursday I will be salsa dancing for the first time since finals week. It will be sad without Nicole, Katie, Stacy W, and especially without Stacy H and Angie.

3. My Free Time - Free time also has been occurring at work recently, where I am re-reading the book that my xangazon setting has told you about. I read it last year for the previously mentioned internship, and I believe this years' interns will be reading it as well. When I saw it I thought "seriously? A biogrophy about some Christian songwriter? Why should I care?" After reading it I can definately see why Matt told us it was a favorite. One of the most inspiring books I've read recently, and now that I'm re-reading it I'm getting more out of it. I decided it will be an annual read for me. Tonight I'll leave you with an excerpt from Keith Green's journal:

"We are nothing but dust. Our lives are not ours. Our bodies are not ours. OUr future is in your hands. The Lord is making me ready to die - completely - I don't deserve to live - so come Spirit of the holy God - live instead of me. There is no joy left in life but to realize I am nothing and let God be what he is - all.

Tears cannot express nor laughter his grace/gifts. I am his. Please Keith! Don't ever go back - look up. It's time to go."

Here's a story

Yesterday I decided to surprise my former roommate, Stacy, by showing up at her place of employment, Kohl's, in Indy. So I did and it was fun and everything. During her 15 minute break we ran across the street and got Starbuck's, then I did some shopping and she finished working. Then we were going to stop by her parent's house and I was going to kidnap her and bring her to Anderson for the night and then go to church in the morning. My car had other plans. The brakes didn't work! Not like "holy crap I can't stop my car" but more like "okay I can barely stop my car and any further it's not going to stop at all."

I don't know much about cars but for the past month I knew I needed my rotors replaced. But this was something new. My knowledge about cars is evident in the fact that I pulled into a gas station and said to Stacy, "isn't there something called brake fluid" and she had no idea and I said "I think there is. Maybe I'm low on that." So I opened my hood and so no brake fluid compartment. So then I looked in my manual and found where the compartment was. Sure enough I was below the minimum line. So I bought some and filled it up and that didn't help. This was about midnight and to my knowledge there are no brake shops open at midnight on Saturday. So I was stranded at Stacy's house.

This morning her dad took me to Midas and I had to replace one pad, one rotor and two calipers... basically I had to shell out $600.

Yay for me.

I am currently at an old geisha house in Nara, Japan. How cool is that? I'm spending the night here!

Took my last final today and wrote my last paper.

Next step: a job.

Dilemma: I currently have a job here in Anderson. I'm about to go to Japan for 2 weeks. When I get back I'm pretty sure I still have that job. I will have no money after Japan. I have friends to stay with here. I have friends to stay with in the city I plan to move to. I have no job there. Do I come back from Japan and put in a two week notice and stay and work two weeks then move and find a job? Do I just say I can't come back after tomorrow and move right after Japan and find a job? Places are hiring and I've talked to some and they just say "well when you are ready to move then let us know" so I'm thinking it will be easier to find the job when I already live there.

Oh what to do what to do.

From "The Call to Conversion" by Jim Wallis

"I remember a conference in New York City. The topic was social justice. Assembled for the meeting were theologians, pastors, priests, nuns, and lay church leaders. At one point a Native American stood up, looked out over the mostly white audience, and said, 'Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are materialists with no experience of the Spirit. Regardless of what the New Testament says, most Christians are individuals with no real experience of community.' He paused for a mement and then continued: 'Let's pretned that you were all Christians. If you were Christians, you would no longer accumulate. You would share everything you had. You would actually love one another. And you would treat each other as if you were family.' His eyes were piercing as he asked, 'Why don't you do that? Why don't you live that way?'"

We all have little lies that we believe. Okay, so maybe they aren't that little. But they are quiet whispers of darkness and we believe them. Somedays we see them and we say "HEY! YOU'RE MY FUCKING LIE! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU ANYMORE!!"



But the next day we believe it again.



Why is it so hard to believe the truth and to accept the freedom that it brings?

My Last College Weekend

I must say it was pretty amazing. Let me try to sum it all up for you:

Friday Night was game night here at FC205 with Stacy, Mallory, Stephanie, Amy, Katie, Angie, Jen, Mel, Krista, Puff, and Chad

Then Stacy and I watched Fried Green Tomatoes, which resulted in me falling asleep on the couch.

Saturday Morning I went to the church and made journals with all the bound4freedom girls. That lasted until evening, and as I said the other day it was relaxing, fun, laughter, and relaxation.

Saturday Evening I went to Real with Stacy and Jen and some of Jen's friends. That was fun. That's all I say here.

I then went to visit Sara at Mocha Joe's, and since she was closing I got half of an oreo cheesecake for free, which is now in my fridge, minus two pieces (one for me, one for Stacy).

Sunday morning was Senior Sunday at church. This just means that after church Conner prayed for us seniors. And I cried. And then I laughed. And then I got free lunch at the Marketplace, which was horrible just like it always is, but hey, it was my last brunch at the MP. Sunday afternoon I did the typical and relaxed, watching tv and movies and I sewed a journal.

Sunday night went to the church and played Risk with I don't even know who all was there. It was a lot of people, we had two games going. I had never played before. I was the first to die in my game. I blame Krista, who was my teammate, for not teaching me to strategize. She blames me, "A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link." But really it was probably because we tried to Strategize in German, and Audrey knows German. As Audrey and Conner say, "Friends before, friends after, but not friends during." It's an intense game.

Lately my mind has been so caught up in the idea of graduating a week from today. For the past few days all I have been able to think has been the following:

-No more classes - praise the Lord!

-I'm moving to a really cool city with a really good friend, how fun!

-I will no longer be defined as "student"

-The idea that I am leaving the place I've called home for 4 years isn't hitting yet

But today that happened. Here I was all excited about no more classes and spending a Saturday with some amazing people. I went to the church to help out with Bound4Freedom and it was there that it happened. In the church community that I have grown to love and really call family over the past year. I was in a small room with about eight beautiful ladies and we were working away at making memory books for a Uganda preschool. Down the hall some amazing men and women were painting away in the kid's room, and my brothers and sisters were out front making our community garden. The next thing I know all of us were in the coffee room eating some hamburgers and ice cream, thanks to good ol' Paul, and that's when I realized it.

This place really has been my home for four years. These people that I am in communtiy with are my family. Some I have known all four years, and others I just met this past summer. We are a young church and last year we had so many dreams of what we would be. Those dreams are starting to take shape and now it's time for me to pack up my bags and leave.

Although I am super excited for what lays ahead for both the communtiy and myself, I find it hard to say goodbye.

Yesterday my day started off with me trying to put my shoes on before my pants.

Today started with me waking up from a dream about a creepy guy trying to kill me and my roommate.

Tomorrow? Bring it!

You say I'm a dreamer. Please, let me dream of the places and the faces I've never seen. To think too big, to reach too tall; be whisked by the sky like a robin to her fledgling when it's too young to fly. So dream with me. Let me be, let me dream. To travel and to wander: places I've never been. You say it's a waste of time to imaging soaring in my mind. To drink from fountains by and by or swim across the sea. I've swam across the river Nile, crawled through the desert a thousand miles, wrestled with a crocadile when we were young. So dream with me. Let me be, let me dream. To travel and to wander: places I've never been.


~Cliff Ritchey

I called a good friend of mine - a former housemate. I hadn't talked to her in a couple months. After an hour conversation tonight I am reminded of what a beautiful person she is.

Memories of last summer flood my mind. Right now I'm wishing for a cup of hot coffee, a journal, a pen, and a bed on a porch.

But instead I find myself in a messy bedroom with a hundred deadlines staring back at me.

However, I find tranquility within.

The only thing really interesting about my weekend home were the following:

1. Seeing an old youth pastor and his wife randomly for the first time in about three years - weird part, realizing I am the age he was when I met him and looked up to him - other weird part, realizing now our age is not that big of a difference anymore.

2. Discovering that my friend who I haven't seen in a long time now has a cow - and she lives on the same block as me, which with the exception of her old farmhouse is in your typical 70's style ranch home neighborhood.

3. Staying an extra day (leaving early this morning) to avoid tornado warnings that stretched our entire three hour drive.

My good friend Matt asked me a question several months ago. At the time I didn't really know the answer. I had a few ideas of what the answer might be, but I think now I really know. What that means for the future, I don't know. Current plans are still in progess and will remain soon - of those I find myself so excited!

But something inside me ignites a little more when I think about that answer! There are people who do it, but then they can't wait until it is over and they have come back to their old place. I never feel that way. Never have.

The answer, btw, is traveling.

I used to tell myself I didn't want to travel for my job because I thought it would lose some of the joy - and maybe it would - I guess that would depend on what the job itself was and how much free time I had while in whatever place. If I went some where AMAZING but had to spend the whole time in a confrence room, then what's the point of traveling, you know?

To experience people and cultures and languages and food and to see how different we all are - and still connect with someone - a smile is a smile and a laugh is a laugh. Whether someone says "tortuga" or "shildkroete" or "turtle" doesn't really make a difference anymore.

What was Matt's question--



What makes you feel alive?

Carpe Semesto #30 - Tonight I cooked a duck for Stacy and Sara and myself. I had no idea what I was doing! I had to pull out the neck and the liver, heart, etc (they weren't bagged like they sometimes are with poultry). Yeah then I seasoned it and stuck it in the oven and went to work with no one here to check on it. But... it turned out! It got a LITTLE on the dry side but that was because I took it out of the oven when I got home and Stacy wasn't here yet. I had expected her to be home around 5:15 and then she could have made sides... so we made sides and the duck sat out for a bit. But still pretty good. Go me.

I'm out of date on these things...

Carpe Semesto #25 - We had the best possible last spring break ever (it was on our list that's in our hallway)

Carpe Semesto #26 - All my randomness from that one weekend home that I xanga'd about awhile ago (the digeridoo)

Carpe Semesto #27 - Game night @ Chad's. This involved the guys hanging out in the kitchen cooking and the girls gather'd round one of the Final Four games. It also involved someone driving to Muncie just so we could play Balderdash.

Carpe Semesto #28 - After four years Stacy and are each FINALLY the proud owners of the famous gold-ish Marketplace plastic cups.

Carpe Semesto #29 - I attended Cheap Thrills for the very last time as a student. We all know it's not the same when you're not a student, since there tends to be campus-related jokes. High point of Cheap Thrills: Titanic in two minutes. Low point of Cheap Thrills: The horrible, offensive "Save Rush" joke which was not funny at all and caused me to have less respect for Dativus (not that I had a lot to begin with).

So the CS moments haven't been as frequent as I had hoped and there is definately not enough time left in the semester to do all things I wanted to do. However, I will make these last 26 - yes, 26 - days the best possible. And there are several CS moments in the planning.

Things open to the public: Game Night - TBA, Chipotle trip - TBA, and possibly hittin' up The Vogue. Interested? Lemme know. Also, if you have any great ideas to end this era with a bang, please, spread the love!

I am participating in Living Poverty.

For this week I can only spend $2 a day.

I've already noticed how much money I spend a day - it just never seems like it. For example, I'm on campus so there's no monthly rent check or utility bill, but I'm technically spending money every day on water and rent and electricity, etc. Or if I grab something out of the fridge or pantry and eat or drink it - that's money spent even though I'm not putting a dollar into the fridge door.

I wonder exactly how much I normally spend a day if I were able to calculate those things, as well as things like toothpaste, gas, etc.

In other news, Indiana finally made a good choice - DST. A lot of people here think it's stupid but that's just their ignorance speaking. DST is the best thing that has ever happened to Indiana.

Friday night was probably the most random night of my life. And I've had random nights.

Holly (not me dumb-butt) brought some friends home from school for the weekend. When I got home I went to the Chocolate Cafe to meet them. We were just sitting there on the couch which happens to face the large window (basically two whole walls of the corner store are window) and so we're watching this group of high schoolers. They're just sitting there being high schoolers and suddenly a guy our age goes wheeling buy on a unicycle.

Not only that, while riding said unicycle he is playing a didgeridoo.

Now that's not something you see everyday. So then a while later he comes into the store - he left a book at the table we were sitting at. We find out his name is John and then he offers to teach Holly's friend how to ride the unicycle.

So now we're downtown St. Joe (for those unfamiliar this is not a big place nor a place where strange things happen typically) and Holly and John are helping Danielle ride a unicycle. Then Holly has a turn. Keep in mind it's about 30 degrees outside and we're just hanging out. Then we just start talking and we take turns playing the didgeridoo - which when WE play sounds like a "dying elephant farting" according to John. It's supposed to play a low E - and that's all.

So after getting weird looks from people passing by you'd think the night would end.

Oh but no!

John asks "hey have you ever had your leg put through the floor?"

What?

So Danielle and I both did it. You lie down on the ground (on your back) - and then he lifts up a leg as far as you can stand and holds it for about a minute. Then he pushes it up a little bit more and holds it longer. Then he slowly lowers your leg and it feels like your legs are even but really they're not so then it feels like one leg is going lower than the ground. It's weird.

Then I have to go to the bathroom. The only place in St. Joe open past 11 are bars... even though it's a Friday night. So John and I are the only ones over 21 but we all run into a bar anyway so I can go. Then we leave and we're hanging out outside the bar. We decide to turn Holly's car on and have a sing along to "Come Thou Fount"

Next thing I know John's teaching us all to waltz.

Then we see a very, very, very, very low shooting star.

Huh. Yeah I think that's about it.

I wish there were words.

Words to describe the memories and feelings and emotions. I've been so caught up in being done with school - forever - without realizing that it means I'll be done with school - forever. No more classes and no more papers and no more quizes or exams or presentations, no more grades, no more GPA. Those are all freeing for me.

But this community. And I don't mean specifically AU or even Anderson, IN or even The Mercy House. Those things are just the settings for what has been these four years. All the friends I've made... there are so many kinds of friends. The kind you just talk to in class or when passing, "facebook friends", the people you set up times to meet because your lives are so busy. The friends that you just talk to on AIM or through xanga. The friends you live with or wish you lived with or might as well be living with.

Stacy and I have talked about this a lot - how here at school our friendships are almost predetermined. By our majors. By what dorm or apartment we live in. Now - there are connections. I might be friends with someone whom I never lived near or had any classes with - but only because we have a mutual friend. Like... someone on my floor had a class with so and so and now we're friends sort of thing.

And Tri-S. Meeting people on your way to a foreign country is great.

But what about after graduation?

Your apartment.

Your job.

Is that all?

Everything I could possibly need (not necessarily want) is within 5 minutes walking distance. A pool. A gym. A coffee shop. A cafeteria. A post office. A bank. My job. My classes. My apartment. My friends..... my friends.

This is a long rant but... as sick of school as I am.... these four years... the hundreds of people I've met.

I know this is a typical senior post - everyone goes through the stage of "I'm going to miss my friends from school" and they all move on and keep up with the good relationships and make more friends wherever they end up. But this is my time. My time for the realization to hit me.

It's inevitable.

So here I am back in 30-degree weather. As much as I enjoyed hanging out with my roommate and the warm sunny Florida days there's something good about being back. I haven't seen any of my friends yet and I've had one class. There's a lot of stress class-wise that I have to deal with in the next couple days - and I may have to take one or two summer classes (which would mean not exactly graduating in May). But none of that is bothering me right now.

It's funny the way I work - As soon as I got back from Italy I had Florida to look forward to.

And now I'm counting down - seven weeks until I leave for Japan!

Yesterday

It was quite the day. We got a late start - and by late I just mean later than we planned - we were still on the road by I think 9 - but we were wanting to leave around 7:30 or 8 - if any of you know Stacy you'll understand We decided it's great that we're both very laid back people, especially when it comes to traveling.

So here we are just outside of Anderson - for those of you familiar with the area we were in Pendleton on SR 9 and we missed a turn and didn't realize it for awhile. But finally we figured it out and turned back around. Then in Greenville - just east of Indy we stopped at a 5/3 so Stacy could deposit a check - that took awhile.

Finally we were on the road for real. It was raining pretty hard most of the way - especially through the first part of Kentucky. So we had the wipers on as high as they could go and then all of a sudden the driver's side wiper blade broke off and went flying down I-75 (Kind of reminds me of Five Iron Frenzy's "Blue Comb"). Stacy had to lean over to my side of the car to see out the window - it was interesting. We got off at the next exit - all that was there was a gas station. They didn't have wiper blades so I asked if I could use the phone to call AAA. The guy said he could just pop it back on for me but then I explained it was gone. So he said that two exits down the road there was a WalMart where I could just get another one.

What he didn't say was that it was 12 miles away. But we made it. And then, even though I know how to put a wiper blade on, I asked if they could do it (hey it was raining! I didn't want to stand out there haha). And the lady said I'd have to wait awhile and I asked how long and she said an hour. So apparently taking time to snap on a windsheild wiper between lube jobs is too hard of a concept. But after I bought it another employee started telling me how to do it (even though I knew - but I still didn't want to) and so I just looked confused and then she was like "hey I'll do it for you." It was funtimes for Stacy and I.

Then we tried to get back on the road but Stacy went the wrong way. So when getting off at the next exit to turn around she accidently got back on the same direction again. We decided she was too tired to continue driving. So we got off at the next exit (which was the same gas station as before) and switched.

So yesterday was my first time to drive in Tennessee and North Carolina and South Carolina. It was fun. And we made it in pretty good time considering everything. We got here around 8:30 I think. We're staying with Stacy's friend for a couple days. And it's nice and warm and sunny. I love it!

She needs to wake up....

Simple Pleasures

So far today:

#1 - On my German test it asked the question (in German) "What was the greatest day of your life?" and I answered (in German) "Today is the greatest day of my life, because we have an exam. I like exams. (Just kidding)."

#2 - Making Sara choose my coffee beverage. First I made her choose a fruit. Then I made her choose vanilla, white chocolate, regular chocolate, or a complementary fruit. The result? Raspberry-Vanilla latte. Quite good.

#3 - Having 15 emails in my inobx. Half of them were from Bound 4 Freedom people, discussing what makes a journal a "manly" journal (because most turn out girly - because most makers are girls). The results? Cardboard and duct tape.



This list made me realize - it's been awhile since I've added a carpe semesto. That's sad. Wait, I have one...

Carpe Semesto #22 - Krista and her fiance, James, randomly came to visit Sunday night and Monday. It resulted in...

Carpe Semesto #23 - You'd have to see it to believe it (meaning when I get home this afternoon I'll post pictures).

Okay so two thoughts on Indiana right now.

#1 - Way to go! Today it's official - a smoking ban. Yay for not having to hack up a lung when I go out to eat. I haven't researched it much so I don't know if it's EVERY where or not but I'm hoping this includes the Jazz Kitchen.

#2 - Some guy who owns an oil company paid over $121 MILLION to advertise and have the naming rights for the new Colts stadium. Now, first of all, there's no good reason why all of the tax dollars should have been spent on the new stadium in the first place. But now this guy spending that much to have it named after his company? And supposedly he grew up poor... you'd think someone who grew up poor would want to help others who are growing up poor - or at least would have a better way of spending that. To quote Brian, "That's 121,905,092 (or whatever the exact number was) people he could of fed for like a month in Africa."

On AU specifically

#3 - Today in the Andersonian (school paper) there was an article on chapel. The campus pastor was quoted saying something along the lines of them trying to get chapel speakers with whom we (the institution) have similar beliefs.

Because how dare our thoughts get challenged.

that's all for today

Birthday celebration continues....

First, at work Janet gave me a framed thing that had all the babie's pictures on it and it says "Happy Birthday Holly" on it - it's really cute. She gave it to me yesterday because she wasn't there on Tuesday and Wednesday I don't think she was "there".

Then Angie, Chris, and Stacy and I went salsa dancing. Not that we don't normally go, but this time Angie and I both wore skirts and Stacy wore a dress (we normally just wear pants). Also Stacy and I usually leave around 1:15, 1:30 because I have German at 8:00am every day - but yesterday afternoon I took a nap and then I was able to stay out until it closed - so we got home at like 3:45am. So then I emailed my German prof (good ole Inge!) and told her that I had been salsa dancing and just got back and probably wouldn't be able to wake up for class - so I'm going to the noon class. I love knowing prof's well.

Uhh.. and I didn't break any AU guidelines or anything. What?

Yeah it was a funtime. Oh - so at one point toward the end of the night I was starting to get tired and Chris had left a long time ago, and Angie and Stacy were dancing and so I was just sitting there watching them, letting my feet rest. And I guess I wasn't smiling or anything (who just sits there by themselves and smiles?) Anyway - Supposedly one of Angie's latino friends - Victor - asked her what my name was and why I wasn't smiling. Then she told him it was my birthday. So then he talked to the DJ and then either the DJ or Victor said over the sound system "Happy Birthday Holly. Smile, Holly." It was funny. Then Victor started dancing with me and he said something but the music was loud and all I heard was "for your birthday." Then he just left and had another guy dance with me and I was confused - until I realized he had said something like getting a lot of guys to dance with me. So I would dance with a guy for less than half a song and then he would switch guys haha. It was fun. This lasted for like 3 or 4 songs. Good times. Then they all gave me a group hug ha.

On that note...

Ich bin ein kleiner Indianer.

Do you ever look at a decision that a friend has made and think "that is so not right". Only the thing is, you can't really put your finger on what is so "not right" about that decision? It's hard because, I want to say something to this friend - actually I tried long before the decision was made - but it just didn't happen because... I don't even know what the problem is. It just doesn't feel right to me or something. I don't know. I guess all I can do is stand by and watch and hope that it works out for the best, despite my nagging intuition.

Translation of previous post....

Xanga in German!

I know that no one can read this (just Krista, Angie, and Manuel). But I am really bored, so I write in German. I'm sitting in Mocha Joe's and am NOT drinking coffee. Really! But I would like to drink a Freeze. This morning I drank coffee, and at noon I drank soda. But I am very tired, because last night I went to bed late, and then got up early. That was because I went salsa dancing. It was a lot of fun because Stacy, Angie, Stacy W, Amy, Chris, and Cassie went with. I want to go again next week for my birthday. Yeah, that's right - my birthday is Tuesday. Then I will be 23 years old.... I am very old. This weekend I will visit my parents (and brother and grandparents). On Saturday I will eat with my mom, brother, and grandma. On Sunday I will eat with my dad and grandma and grandpa. On Monday I will go to the church and make books. Tuesday is my birthday. I will take a long bath. On Wednesday, nothing. Thursday I will go salsa dancing again. I like making books. On Friday I will go to The Vogue and dance. I want to invite you all. We should have a lot of fun. Now I will buy coffee. I work in an hour. I like to work. It's fun. That's all. Bye.

Xanga auf Deutsch

Ich weisse, dass nieman kann dies lesen (nur Krista, Angie, und Manuel). Aber ich habe viel Langeweile, so schriebe ich auf Deutsch. Ich sitzen im Mocha Joe's und Kaffee NICHT trinken. Wirklich! Aber ich moechte ein Freeze trinken. Heute Morgen habe ich Kaffee getrunken, und heute Mittag habe ich Coke getrunken. Aber ich bin sehr muede, weile ich gestern nacht spaet ins Bett gegangen, und denn bin ich froeh aufgestehen. Dass war weile ich habe salsatanzen gegangen. Es war viel Spass, weile Stacy, Angie, Stacy W, Amy, Chris, und Cassie haben mit gegangen. Ich will nachste Woche wieder gangen fuer mein Geburtstag. Ja, das ist richtig - ich habe am Dienstag Geburtstag! Denn bin ich dreiundzwangzig Jahre alt..... ich bin sehr alt. Diese Wochenende besuche ich meine Eltern (und Bruder und Grosseletern). Am Samstag will ich mit meine Mutter, mein Bruder, und meine Grossmutter essen. Am Sonntag will ich mit mein Vater und meine Grossmutter und mein Grossvater essen. Am Montag will ich zu Kierche gehen und Buecher machen. Ich mache Buecher gern. Am Dienstag ist mein Geburstag! Ich will ein lange Bade machen. Am Mittwoch will ich nichts. Am Donnerstag ich will wieder salsatanzen gehen. Am Freitag will ich zum The Vogue gangen, und tanze!!! Ich moechte euch einlanden! Wir sollen viel Spass haben! Ich will jetzt Kaffee kaufen. In ein Stunde arbeite ich. Ich arbeite gern! Es ist Spass. Das ist alles. Tschuess!

I have not written a real post in a long time. Yet, this is not the time. At least not for a "what's been going on in Holly's head/heart" post. But I can tell you what I've been up to!

The past week...

Carpe Semesto #18 - Doing the Daily Crossword, Crytpoquip, Sudoku, Word Jumble, and Word Slueth in Mocha Joe's with Stacy Lantz, Krista Allen, Jen Brooks, Kris Stevens, Nick Pease, and whomever else happens to be around - the crossword is ALWAYS a group effort - but so far we've never missed more than 5 letters!

Carpe Semesto #19 - Bound 4 Freedom! It started again and so far I've made one journal and one cover and have spent some good time with Krista, Audrey, Ray, and Rae

Carpe Semesto #20 - Stacy Lantz concert Friday night. She opened for Rob Alan at The Living Room and did AMAZING!

Carpe Semesto #21 - Going to Ivanhoe's later this afternoon with Christy and Lacey.

An update on two past Carpe Semesto's..

First, the Water Polo team. The first few weeks it started I was really tired and had lots of homework and didn't make to any games and so I kinda just gave up on being on the team.

Second, remember how I said I wanted to take a picture every day? That lasted like three days until that one day I threw up at church and then I didn't take any that day and stayed home the next and didn't take any pictures again, and then I tried to take one that next day and the batteries were dead. So then I kept forgetting new batteries and then I kept forgetting the camera. But starting tomorrow I want to try again.

By far, the ULTIMATE Carpe Semesto Experience...

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you:

Carpe Semesto #17

Lately I have been driving to classes. Yes, it's only a block away but 1) it's cold and 2) I have class at 8am and 3) don't get home until after 6pm, and so prior to the past week or so it was dark for both commutes. But yesterday I started walking again - now that it's getting lighter out.

Let's just say I made the right decision by walking to German at 7:45am. Because that means I would have had to walk home from work at 6:00pm.

So I'm in the office at work and I don't feel like walking back, because it's cold and also because my bag was SUPER heavy. So I ask Kristen (who lives in my building) if she drove to work and she said no because she totaled her car. But she tells me Kelly is going to drive her home. Kelly is our administrative assistant.

So then Kelly tells us she's dogsitting and has to pick up the dog first, if that's okay with us. We agree that's fine. Oh wait, did I mention who she was dogsitting for?

That's right. The one and only P Eddy. (For non AU students that's what we affectionately call President Edwards - the AU President). So she pulls into his driveway and gives Kristen and I a tour of his house, all with Charlie (a white poodle for those who don't know) following us around excited to see Kelly (they're friends).

His house is HUGE!!! A lot bigger than it looks from the outside. It has FIVE bedrooms, each with it's own little sitting area and there are five bathrooms too. There's a big foyer and a spiral staircase (three of the bedrooms are upstairs). A big formal living room and a back family room too. I was quite impressed.

Carpe Semesto #16 - I subscribed to the Meriam-Webster Word of the Day Email List.

(FYI today's word is druthers)

Carpe Semesto #11 - Fondue Fun Night @ Jen's

Carpe Semesto #12 - Fiesta! CAB-sponsered event with Mexican food and salsa dancing

Carpe Semesto #13 - Shopping today for salsa/clubbin' clothes (two shrits and a tank top for me!)

Carpe Semesto #14 - IHOP (Stacy had never been)

Carpe Semesto #15 - The Translation Game. Okay so this is really fun if you're bored. Go to freetranslation.com and write a paragraph in English. Then translate it into any language. Then copy and paste that and translate it back into English. It turns out all messed up. The best one so far.... I said something like this: "I really enjoyed our shopping and going to starbucks, and I'm happy with my purchases. I hope I am neither sick nor sleepy tomorrow because I really want to play water polo with Marco Polo's Sinking Porpoises. We have a game at ten thirty." I translated it into Russian and then back into English. Then I took that and translated it into German and back into English and got the following...

I had a support, shop go that today and in starling cheek, and I enjoy really my purchases. Do I hope, will be that tomorrow I sick, ????, because I really water? play wants??? with decreasing of pig whale???? ???? We have game in ten thirty.

"Don't wander through this glassy surface expecting to find more than me, 'cause what am I without a purpose but a lone mirage to see?"



Carpe Semesto #10 - Body cleanse! Christy told me about this, and last night I bought the stuff and Stacy and I are doing it. So here's the thing. We all have worms in our poop. And the average 50 year old male has 5-22 POUNDS of excess poop in his colon. Granted I'm not a 50 year old male, but I still have some excess poop (and so you do you)! This cleanse is some fiber and herbal pills that you take a few every day until you start pooping 2-3 times a day. It's gonna be great! "Look, ma! No worms!"

I'm a little behind on this...

Carpe Semesto #5 - Eating at The Nile (a greek restaraunt in town)

Carpe Semesto #6 - Cooking Chicken Curry and Pineapple Chutney

Carpe Semesto #7 - Denise's party Saturday night

Carpe Semesto #8 - Swimming last night

Carpe Semesto #9 - Last night I took an AMAZING bubble bath (something I wanted to do in this apartment ever since this summer when I thought about the fact that no one besides my roommate and I would have used the bathtub - for those who don't know, our apartment was just built this summer)

Carpe Semesto #2 - I'm officially a member of Marco Polo's Sinking Porpoises. That's right, an intramural Water Polo team. I've never played Water Polo in my life.

Carpe What?

Okay so I'm sure ALL of you have heard the prhase, "Carpe Diem" or "Seize the Day"

Well, I'm sure all of you AU-ers know of the phrase from last year "Carpe Momento" or "Seize the Moment."

For those non-AU-ers, it was the school's theme last year.

Anyway, the other night Stacy and I were talking about how we wanted to make sure we had a lot of fun this semester (yet still being studious) as it is our last college semester. Ever. And I don't remember what specific fun activity we were talking about, but Stacy said "Carpe Momento" and then I said no, "Carpe Semesto." (semester) It made Stacy laugh, so it stuck.

So friends, from now on I am going to Carpe Semesto. From this point on every time I update my xanga (or at least most times) I will include one thing that counts as my Carpe Semesto moment.

Here's to the last semester!

Carpe Semesto #1: Watching the last 2 minutes of the Colts/Steelers game with my roommate, but not using sound, and listening to the people across the hall scream and the guys upstairs stomp on the floor.

Last Semester

It's about time. While I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate (a friend recently asked me "what makes you feel most alive when you are doing it?" - and even that I can't answer), I am still looking forward to no classes and no homework. So yes, I am back from Italy, which was an amazing time. Sometime in the near future I will whip out my journal and on here I will post a list of everything we saw, and post some pictures as well. Five more months and I'm done with school and on my way to Japan for two or three weeks! (I love to travel! Yet, is that when I feel most alive? Not sure.) I went to work for the first time in three and a half weeks yesterday... I LOVE MY JOB (but is that what I want to do long term? Not sure.) and I missed the babies so much. They all recognized me, but they had all gotten bigger, especially Carly, who is now able to pull herself up. And Jaret wasn't there but I was told he is crawling now. Well... I have things to get done before I go to my first class, so I'll keep this relatively short by ending it now.