Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Madeline

The Pomegranate.

One of my favorite fruits, especially this time of year. I was only introduced to this fruit two years ago by Krista's mom. Mmmmmmm good. The pomegranate is a fruit that originates from Iran and India, and was then introduce to Spain, which introduced it to California. It is grown on a shrub and "the nearly round, 2-1/2 to 5 in. wide fruit is crowned at the base by the prominent calyx. The tough, leathery skin or rind is typically yellow overlaid with light or deep pink or rich red. The interior is separated by membranous walls and white, spongy, bitter tissue into compartments packed with sacs filled with sweetly acid, juicy, red, pink or whitish pulp or aril. In each sac there is one angular, soft or hard seed"

I enjoy these very much.

There is also a few fake pomegranates in the lobby of the Stevensville, Michigan Baymont Inn, which are fun to throw at beaver and pig toys. Ahem. Pishy.

"Your lips are like a ribbon of scarlet. Oh, how beautiful your mouth! Your cheeks behind your veil are like pomegranate halves – lovely and delicious." - Song of Solomon 4:3, NLT

In other, less fruity news.... last night was a wonderful L'ami night where we discussed things about the club, what we liked and didn't like, and I think it went really well. Then after club Thrasher, Ervin and I went to Jen Lo Sasso's apartment (which is kind of scary) and threw rocks at her windows (this was around midnight) trying to get her attention - because her lights were on and she didn't answer the phone. Finally, she later told us, she heard "I see you" and was freaked out because at the time she was naked in the shower. Then I yelled "we're safe people. We're Jen, Holly, and Thrasher" and she heared "safe people... Holly" and realized who we were and peeked out of the window (that is in the shower) to tell us about her nakedness and showertime. She put on a towel and came downstairs to let us in and we all went to Steak n' Shake where we called random people, including Steak n' Shake itself and asked "Have you seen my Moses? It's short, and sometimes small. It's big, and sometimes not big. It's brown and fury and bald." good times. Then we went Meijer and looked at baby clothes and toys. Got home around 3:30, wasn't tired, went to bed at 4 and woke up at 7. Hehehe how nice.

Have YOU seen my Moses?

Lyric of the day: "I was empty inside but I just didn't know You are my ten thousand roses and I let you go Before I make the same mistake just hold me in your arms We belong you know it in your heart" - Hanson, Madeline

Monday, November 29, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- A Minute Without You

What a day. DeeDee (my wonderful roommate) is going through issues with her best friend right now, and it reminds me a lot of Melissa and I (not you MelissaKae, a different Melissa). A girl in a lot of my classes (Lindsey Schaefer if any of you know her), her grandpa passed away over break, but they knew it was going to happen soon, but it's still really sad. And then I found out from Jenna last night (and again in all my classes and via email from the Dean of Students) that a girl here at AU (Annie Carter) was killed Saturday in a car accident. She was a freshman and lived in Meyers Hall (the dorm I lived in last year). And I'm kinda friends with her roommate's sister. I guess she was driving and trying to stop for a yellow light and she slammed on her brakes, but the road was slippery and she crashed into a pole. She also worked in the Sociology department, which most of my classes are in, so I know at least one is cancelled Wednesday b/c the prof is going to her funeral. I guess Annie was an organ donor and her heart is going to a nine-year old boy who they didn't think was going to make it through the holidays. And all together her organs are going to 70 different people. It's so amazing how God formed us so that, even though we are all so unique, when one of us passes on and no longer needs these earthly bodies we can pass them on to someone else who needs them.

It's weird being on a small Christian campus. I don't really have a different campus to compare it to (other than LMC) but I feel like one of my extended family members is the one who died, and I didn't even know this girl. It's such a harsh reality of how short life is, but also of the glories that are beyond this earth.

Lyric of the day: "I can't keep myself from thinking about you It's because I love you, and I know that it's true. I'll call it desperation, can't you see it in my eyes? That I want be with you until the sun falls from the sky " - A Minute Without You

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- I Will Come To You -

Well... here's the run-down on my break. Which was great, just too short.

Tuesday - I had a BLAST singing Christmas songs the whole way home with Sara Spitters. Woohoo!!! I got home just in time for dinner, then afterwards Krista and I went to WalMart and got some yarn, then we went over to her house and knitted. Then around 10:30 pm we convinced Holly Pschigoda to come home then instead of Wednesday, which she did, and that was a good thing because

Wednesday - it snowed like crazy all day! Normally the first snow in Michigan is just some flurries that don't stick. This was like a mini blizzard and left us with like 6 inches. I spent almost all day at home doing laundry, then I met Holly, Chris, and Katie (who's engagement ring rocks, my future husband should meet her and take notes) at The Chapel's Thanksgiving service. I saw Blair (one of the pastors), Gina (his wife, who's pregnant belly is getting big!), and Sarah (along with Gina, my summertime small group leader), and others. It was wunderbar! Then Holly and I went to the Chocolate Cafe where I made my last post. Then we went to Krista's again and knitted some more. Woot.

Thursday - White Thanksgiving, booyah! Um... family + food = you know the rest. A little bit of knitting, too.

Friday - My mom and I put up the Christmas trees and other wintertime holiday decorations. Then I went over to Ryan's house and he, Ashlee, Kyle, Brooke and I ate some food, played Family Feud on DVD, Simpsons Uno, and Euchre. Then I went home and Holly came over and we knitted until 2 am.

Saturday - Holly came over and we had sandwhiches for lunch, then we went to her house and she showed me her way-rockin' early Christmas present - a drum set! And she taught me one rhythm pattern thingy whatever you call it. Then we went to the Baymont and yes, knitted. And talked to Katie. And saw Chris for like 1 minute. Then we went back to my house for dinner (chili mmmmm) then Krista came over and we watched Life is Beautiful (I LOVE that movie) then we went over to her house and knitted and made squirrel-shaped Christmas cookies, one of which ended up being named Mariah Carey. Yeah.

Today - woke up. Did some more Christmas decorations. Then my mom, my grandma, my brother and I went to the Pump House for brunch, which wasn't very good. At all. Everything was kinda overcooked and tasteless. Ah well. And I saw the Portices there. Yay for Abby's family, and my appoligies for not including that Abby, but look! I edited it! You didn't exactly mention seeing the Frees family either Then my mom, my Aunt Jan, and her daughter Kim and I all went to see Polar Express. BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER! (not really, but close!) Then I went home, packed, and got here where I need to go get my butt in gear and unpack and do homework. Ugh. 2 and a half weeks til Christmas break! Ha! (Then like 12 days until Jamaica, yeah baby!)

Lyric of the day: "We all need somebody we can turn to Someone who'll always understand So if you feel that your soul is dyin' And you need the strength to keep tryin' I'll reach out and take your hand " - I Will Come To You, Hanson

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Lucy

I want to inform you of my whereabouts.

I am typing one-handed, as I am sitting in an ice cream/coffee/chocolate shop in quaint downtown St. Joseph, MI (where there is a compter w/ free internet usage) and I am eating one of the world's best mint chip ice cream cones.

I look out the window and see several inches of beautiful, white fresh-fallen snow, none of which was here yesterday. It is the perfect snow for snowball making - I wish I could bring it back with me.

Lyric of the day: "Now I don't have anymore songs to sing 'Cause you were everything, everything to me I didn't realize I felt this way, until that day " - Lucy, Hanson

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Look At You

Yay! In 5 hours I will be driving home for Thanksgiving break. Hurray! I'm sooo ready. Although, this past weekend helped a lot, too. It was like a mini break of it's own. I won't be taking my computer home with me, so the only updates on here that will happen over break will be if I can get our family room computer to work, or if I use someone else's.

Anyway, last night was amazing! L'amifidel had our Thanksgiving dinner at Inge's house (Inge is our advisor, she is a spanish professor and I think she's from Brazil, and her parents are from Germany, or something). Anyway, she is AMAZING. We didn't have Thanksgiving food, we all brought something different and had stir-fry. I'm not a huge vegetable fan and so I didn't think I'd really like it but I LOVED it!!! We had sticky rice, chicken breasts (with some Brazillian spice that was amazing), green beans, sugar snap peas, peanuts, water chestnuts, broccoli, carrots, and red and green bell peppers. There might have been more too, but I don't remember. And homemade bread with homemade strawberry jam. And the world's best chocolate cake EVER!

And Melissa laughed, doing the goose and so then we laughed, and mocked her laugh, she laughed more.... I think 30 minutes later we were finally done laughing. Good times.

Then she needed to go to WalMart to get the U2 album, so we did.

The end.

Lyric of the day: "I was standing in the shadows wondering what I'm doing here Wishin' something would happen so that I could disappear" - Look At You, Hanson

Monday, November 22, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Yearbook

So Monday, huh? Well... I woke up at 11:20, despite having class before then. Oops. And a paper to turn in. Oops. Oh well, I got my homework done, turned my paper into Mbito's office, and went to my 1:00 class. And got a very, very late birthday card for my brother (hey, I haven't seen him okay?) and a Christmas present for two people. Woohoo!

Um... so last night after I posted on here I was talking to Jenna, Tif, and Scott and I was just really realizing how God is moving in our AUCME team. It's amazing. We're like our own little family.

Okay so any of you Hanson fans out there know that the song that comes next makes it very difficult for me to find a decent quote, but I did it!

Lyric of the Day: "More than sad, it makes me mad to know somebody knows. There's a lying in your silence...Sometimes I think I hear him calling out my name Sometimes I wonder if maybe we're to blame" - Yearbook, Hanson

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Where's the Love

Hmmm... so.... I don't know what to say except AUCME is awesome and I had a blast and I'm so glad I got to know everyone better. And Bible Study rocked tonight, except for the fact that my roommate got raptured and everyone else I know missed it. Yeah.

Lyric of the Day: "Dark clouds all around, lightning, rain pouring down Waiting for the bright light to break through" - Where's the Love, Hanson

Saturday, November 20, 2004

HOLY CRAP FOR CRAP!!! How could I have TOTALLY forgotten what happened yesterday, until reading it in Mel's xanga? I'M AN IDIOT! Okay.

Melissa Kae, my wonderful and dear friend has MC'd for John Reuben several times in the past, and so she knows him on a personal level (I don't think I'm exaggerating too much, am I Mel?)

Well anyway. Mel and I (and others) are in this dumb-voice-mail war and yesterday she sent me a bunch of dumb ones. So I sent her one sayign they were too unoriginal. So then she called and said "I don't know what you'r talking about" and then I said "shut up, you whore" (which we affectionately call each other sometimes) and hung up. Then she called back, but didn't answer it. And I was in the middle of doing dishes so I didn't check the voice mail until later. And basically, what the voicemail said was that when she called she really did have something to tell me. John Reuben and his wife and KJ-52 were in town for a youth conference concert thing in Reardon. And they wanted her to go to dinner with them. And she, being the great friend that she is, asked if it was okay if she brought a good friend who was a big fan, and they said yes!!!! But, because I was dumb and didn't answer the phone, I missed it!!!!! But Mel ended up not going either b/c they went somewhere too expesnsive. And she tried getting me into the concert for free, too, but she couldn't.

Mel - I love you

John Reuben - I love you too, and I'll never hang up on Mel again. NEVER.
Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Speechless

Hmm... I was gonna write about something that happened yesterday. Now I don't remember what. Ah well. The other day I put up Christmas decorations and started listening to Christmas music, yay!!! And today I'm soooo looking forward to! This the first AUCME trip of the school year. We're going to some church in Illinois. For those of you who don't know, AUCME is an organization here at AU (Anderson University Center for Ministry Education) and there are different worship teams that go to different churches and lead worship and sometimes give the sermon. I don't sing. I put lyrics up on the overhead, I'll read some scripture, maybe pray. I had such a great time with this last year, and I'm glad we're finally going somewhere this year. It will be different without Brent, Carolyn, and Phil (who were on the team last year) but I'm looking forward to getting to know all the new people: Amber (she signs, yes that's sign not sing spelled wrong), Tara (piano), Luke (drums), Nathaniel (lead guitar), Nick (voice), Peter (voice). And of course hanging with those I already know: Jenna (voice), Tif (voice), Kip (bass), and Scott (guitar). Wow. We're huge.

Lyric of the day: "Everybody wonders and some people know I guess that I'm some people 'cause baby it shows" - Speechless, Hanson

Friday, November 19, 2004

If you haven't read the post below this first, do so. Then read this. I was thinking about the situation in the shower (where some of my best thinking occurrs) and this is what I would like to reply with (this does not at all mean this is what I think is how I SHOULD reply).

It's not so much that he and my got a divorce, and I'm not trying to use Berni as a scapegoat (not intentionally anyway). It's that instead of going to counseling, then getting a divorce, then moving on and finding someone else, he found someone else, asked for a divorce, then went to counseling. That is what makes me so upset. And it's not that I don't want to be happy for him and meet this new person that he loves, it's that he packed up one day, moved out of the house, said to me "see you later" (I thought he was just going down to the yacht club for a little while) and moved in with her. Then later that night my mom told me about the note he left her. It's mostly that he met this woman over the internet and met her and moved in with her before trying to go to counseling and before doing anything he could do to try to save his marriage.

As far as my grandparents go - I love them. He's right, I don't call as often as I should, or visit as often as I should (I hardly ever call them - just birthdays - visit on the holidays - they live an hour and a half away from home, 5 from here) but they only call John and I on our birthdays and I couldn't even tell you the last time they visited. I have been here at AU for 3 years and they have not once even asked about it or made any effort to come here. John lived in Chicago for 3 (I think) years and same thing - never once went out there to visit. I'm not saying that this means I shouldn't call them and visit them more, I'm just saying that it should be the grandparents who put more effort into the relationship. What do you guys think? (about what i want to say to my dad, about my grandparents, about the situation in general). I'm just so hurt and so confused.
Currently Playing
Middle of Nowhere
By Hanson
- Weird


Thank you for writing this. Trust me when I say I know that this has been

hard for you. I have tried to not push the issue and let you say what you

needed to say on your time.

When you mother and I were married, and vows given, we both meant every word

and promise that was made before God and everyone else. There are very few

marriages that begin not feeling that way. All I can say is things change.

Your mother and I both made a lot of changes over the years to make each

other happy. Many times at our own misery. This is not how I had hoped

things would have turned out. But this is how it has to be.

The part that frustrates me is that everyone has forgotten that I too have a

side in this. There are reasons I can no longer live with your mother. I

have chose not to tell my side because I refuse to talk bad about your

mother to anyone. Even if I did, I know it would not change how people look

at me because I was the one that left. I had to be the one to leave.

Therefore, I went into this knowing I will be looked on as the bad guy. Your

mother is defenatly stronger than I and would have done whatever she could,

but she did the wrong things for the wrong reasons. She never really looked

into my heart to find out what I needed to be loved as a husband. She made

her own assumptions. The result is I have felt unloved for many years. I

could no longer stay in a home that I felt I was nothing more than a

paycheck. That is how she made me feel.

I know that you and John love me, and I know that you know, I love you. And

I also know that there is nothing I will ever be able to say or do to take

away the disappointment you two will have in me. But given that, I can not

make myself believe it is right for me to remain miserable remaining to live

with your mother just for the sake of making the world think everything is

fine. Yes I know that makes me look selfish, but all I can say is trust me

when I say I tried for many, many years to keep things from turning out this

way. I guess all I can hope for is that while you two may not look up to me

as a roll model, perhaps you will both learn from what went wrong between

your mother and I.

Regardless of how I may have been introduced to Berni. The fact still

remains that she has nothing to do with the fact that I am not with your

mother. Even if Berni was not here, our marriage was destined to fail. The

consoling that your mother and I went to only showed me that to be true as I

have believed. But I will say I feel very fortunate to have Berni in my life

during a time that was very difficult for me. This will be hard for you to

hear, but the reality is, Berni and I love each other that way two people

should. We let each person be the person they are. We do not try to change

each other to fit the other's expectations. We put each other first, not the

rest of the world. Sometimes that means everyone else looks down on you

because you do not do what they want you to. But that is not what real love

should be about. It is the kind of love I tried for 27 years to have with

your mother, but it never happened. That is unfortunate, but reality. Yes I

made promises the day your mother and I were married. I was sincere making

those promises. But it became to impossible to make happen anymore. Holly, I

can not stay with your mother, just because she is your mother. I'm sorry

but it is how it has to be.

Berni is in my life now. It is wrong for you or anyone else to try and use

her as a scape goat for what has happened. She loves me, and she has

feelings too. All I ask is to not take this out on someone that had nothing

to do with what happened. She is a person too. Berni has said she will step

aside anytime I want to spend time with the rest of my family such as

Thanksgiving. She is willing to do that because she knows how much all of

this hurts everyone, and because she loves me. But I love her too and she

comes first in my life. I will not do things without her by my side. If that

means you will not spend time with me, then that is your choice. You and

John are adults and you should be looking to build your own families. I will

always be her for you as a father, but I will not ignore the one I love as a


I hope and pray that someday you can get over it and spend time with Berni

and I. If you love me, you will understand this and at least try.

Also, You and John have ignored Grandma and Grandpa way too much. They are

your Grandparents. They never get a call from you two. There are times when

you have been up that way but never stop by to visit. They are very hurt by

this and you need to find a way to see them. If you are not going to come to

dinner then I suggest maybe you and John go up there and visit them. A call

now and then can not hurt.

Love forver,


I don't know what to think. I don't know what to feel. God - what am I supposed to do? Why do things have to be so hard? I need You right now. He needs You.

Lyric of the Day: "Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain. You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud You feel all alone in a faceless crowd" - Weird, Hanson

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Sometimes

One more week and I'll be at home... a week from today I can sleep in as late as I want, in my own bed, in my own home. I can sit around with my mom, or I can hang out with Krista, Holly, Katie, and Chris. One more week....

I need a break

Lyric of the day: "I guess sometimes I just don’t know How to say exactly how I feel inside I guess sometimes I just don’t know How to say that I love you." - Sometimes, Hanson

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Pictures


Thank you for the Thanksgiving card. I know that I have not yet said anything to you about the situation that we are in. This has been very hard for me. Over the past year and a half, I have been struggling with what to say, and how to say it. I am at a place now where I can finally let you know what I have been feeling. I am very hurt by what you did, and I would hope that you could figure that out. I know you did not move out because of me, or because of John, and that the divorce had nothing to do with us. However, I am hurt that you could stand up before your family and friends and announce that you would love her and be with her until death parts you. Not until you just didn’t get along all the time, not until you found someone on the internet who could help you escape your frustrations. Until one of you passed away. I wonder, after 27 years, at what point can you just tell yourself that it’s not worth it anymore? Last fall you sent me a letter, and in it you wrote that you did not leave mom for Berni, and that it was not a romantic relationship. I know better than that. I am not a child who is oblivious to what is happening in her family. I was not unaware of what you looked at on the internet. In this situation I can’t help but see how selfish you have been, chasing after you own desires. You walked out on a beautiful, amazing woman who has been the best mother I could ever ask for. Though it was not intentional, you walked out on John, and on me. You gave up your friends at the yacht club, and even your cousins who were in shock over what you did. I wonder how differently you might view the situation if it were John who cheated on his wife, or if my husband did this to me. It hurts me that John does not have someone to look to and say, “That’s the kind of husband I want to be,” and that I can’t say, “that’s the kind of person I want to marry.” I want you to know that I still love you. But as a Christian I do not feel like I can do anything that would support this relationship you are in. As far as Thanksgiving goes, I would very much enjoy going out to dinner with you, Grandma, and Grandpa, but I will not be there as long as Berni will be there. I hope you realize that this was not an easy letter for me to write, but that in my heart I knew what I needed to say.


“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Matthew 5:27-28

Lyric of the day: "Will this feeling ever go away or will this feeling stay Will this feeling ever go away ‘Cause I can’t live the rest of my life this way " - Pictures, Hanson

Monday, November 15, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Stories

So I'm definately skipping Teaching Ministry of the Church - but it's okay, because Overstreet is horribly horrible. In the words of Deanna, he looks like Chester Molestor and I don't want to go listen to people read their papers to me (don't worry - my paper isn't due until Wednesday, I'm not skipping that).

Anyway... so yesterday in church we were singing and I started thinking about my Dad and what all he's done. For those who might not know, the summer before last he moved out and moved in with a woman (Berni - what a beautiful name) he met on the internet. He wrote me a letter last fall telling me that he didn't leave my mom for her, and that it was not a romantic relationship, she was just a good friend helping her in a time of need. How stupid does he think I am??

Last week he sent me a card for Thanksgiving. In it he wrote that he wants to get together over Thanksgiving break - to go out to eat Friday night. He said, "Grandma and Grandpa Frees" (his parents) "will be there, and John" (my brother) "said yes. I know this will be hard for you, but Berni will be there too. You need to meet her."

BULL CRAP. I do NOT need to meet her! I know if I don't meet her at this Thanksgiving thing, then when I DO eventually meet her (for example, if he brings her to the extended-family Christmas party) it will be more awkward, but I do NOT have to meet her now.

So for the past few days I've been struggling... do I go? I'd love to see my Grandma and Grandpa, and I wouldn't mind seeing my dad, and if my brother goes, then there's moral support. But I really do NOT want to go! So, during church I decided I was going to write my dad a letter. This is going to be hard. I have never said anything about what he did, at all, to him. This is a list of things I want to mention...

-I haven't said anything because I've been struggling with how to handle this. I am a Christian who believes this is wrong, and I don't want to support his relationship or what he did. I am a Christian who believes this is wrong but I still need to love my dad and have a relationship with him.
-What if it were John? What if he was married for 27 years and walked out and moved in with another woman? Would he (my dad) still say "what ever makes you happy?"
-What if I was married and my husband left me? Would he care?
-One of the things that makes me the most frustrated about the situation, other than obviously how badly he hurt my mom, is that my brother does not have a good male role model to look too. How is he supposed to know how to be a good husband and a good father?
-I would like to go out to eat with him and my grandparents, but I will NOT go if she is going to be there.

What do you guys think? I'll probably write the letter sometime today and post it on here before I send it out.

Why can't it be like my lyric of the day: "Stories will be told From when our children are young Until they’re old About our endless love We must have had a blessing from above." - Stories, Hanson

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Soldier

So yesterday I went out to eat and shopping with the fam. Today I did the same. Yay for moms who buy groceries! Also today, I reached 1000 posts on ravenet. Tis a great day. I don't know what else to say. Maybe I'll eat some hay. Then go away. To Montego Bay. Pet a sting ray. And play. With clay. Meet Tammi Fae. Go to Fannie Mae. I'm not gay. I have a cousin named Jay. I know Melissa Kae. I need to lay. It feels like May. Nay. I have homework for Professor Pay. If you visit you can stay. The song below is NOT sung by Tay. Yay.

Lyric of the day: "At night they would share each others dreams Under the stars shining bright, But they were too shy to speak of love, to speak of love" - Soldier, Hanson

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- MMMBop

So yesterday I come home from class, blah blah, normal day. Then I start doing the dishes, because they got piled up again and there were hardly any clean ones, and it was nast. Yes, nast, not nasty. Anyway, the whole apartment pretty much was a mess. But I did the dishes (my mom and grandma are coming today so yeah) and then Stacy got home from work and we were talking about getting the apartment really clean. But see, the problem with that is we always talk about it and it never happens. After I did the dishes I decided I'd wait until after dinner (we ordered pizza) to finish cleaning. Well the pizza came, it's a Friday night, so of course we had to watch a movie. We watched "Sleeping With The Enemy" - EXCELLENT movie. Then I slowly got around to start cleaning, but I was dreading it and being lazy and slow, but then Jenn, our RA (and accross-the-hall neighbor) came over and she LOVES cleaning - she helped us! She really didn't do that much because people kept visiting her but just being there she got Stacy and I really motivated. We vacummed the whole apartment (that's a big feat w/ our ghetto vaccum), we dusted (BADLY needed), cleaned the stove top (under the burners and everything), emptied nastiness out of the fridge, I picked up all my junk (clothes were everywhere), swept the kitchen and the bathroom. And now before the fam gets here I'm gonna mop and clean the toilet and shower. Sorry it's a boring post but any of you who have seen my apartment previously need to come and be amazed!

Lyric of the day: "Mmm bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, ba duba dop Ba du" - MMMBop, Hanson (now all you non-fans know how it's supposed to go)

Friday, November 12, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Surely As The Sun -

So last night was interesting. First I got out of class and posted a little on Ravenet. Then I went to WalMart, followed by dinner and Apples to Apples at Swa's place. Came home, did a little more Ravenet posting. Watched TV, then as I was posting some more I realized that I was very close to Brad's number of posts. So I challenged him to see who could get to 1000 first. He did, but only because I backed down. Um... yeah and earlier in the day I had reached 700 so needless to say, I posted a lot yesterday. What a loser.

What are you looking forward to most about Thanksgiving?

Lyric of the day: "Sometimes I wonder what you see in me,‘Cause I’m only a man flawed in so many ways you see" - Surely As The Sun, Hanson

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- River -

I was just remembering a day this summer...

my aunt has some really rich friends in Chicago who have a summer/weekend home on Lake Michigan about 20 minutes away from my house, and they let her use it every once in awhile when they aren't there. So she, my mom, and Holly Pish and I went and oh my gosh. It's friggin' HUGE!!!! and it's almost all glass on the lake-front side. This part of the lake/beach/town has a bluff, which is like a really really steep hill above the lake. Anwyay, the house is on the bluff and then there are steps going all the way down to the lake. Half way down the steps there's a little screened-in cottage built into the side of the bluff where they have a bed and a dorm fridge (hmm wonder what they do there? haha). Then you go down to the beach, and it's a private beach, and they have a little bar stand thing with those tall bar chairs and and there's a big shade umbrella made out of palm tree leaves. It's great. and there's a few more wooden beach chairs, and a hammock. I was just thinking of how wonderful it was lying in the warm summer sun on a hammock with the only sound being the waves washing up on the beach. And I was also thinking about the weird tanline I got from having my pant leg rolled up part way, and how that tan line is still slightly there. That was a bad burn.

What's your favorite memory from this past summer?

Lyric of the day: "Lately we’ve been talking ‘bout who we are, Seems we don’t know anymore, And all this time that we’ve been thinking, At night I’ve been dreamin’ about you " - River, Hanson

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Thinking Of You

So last night was fun. I made the pie and the fajitas, Ryan and Jen came over and ate dinner with Stacy and I and we watched a whole disc of Friends season 8. Then around 10:30 last night I remembered that I had a parenting exam today and this is what I told my roommate: "I just remembered I have an exam tomorrow. Stupid parenting. I'm not a parent. I think that's apparent." Wow. Wasn't that hilarious? For some reason last night I thought it was. So anyway. Now it's 7:51 am, I have class at 10, and I have my parenting exam at 11. Have I studied? NOPE! It's time for this semester to end! If I counted right, I will be in Jamaica in 48 days.

Lyric of the day: "I'm carrying this heavy load, I don't know what to do, the only thing I know is that I'm in love with you." - Thinking of You, Hanson

Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Two Tears

So the whole not talking thing went really well. Until this morning when I woke up 20 mintues before class and Stacy asked if my class was cancelled. I replied "mmmmmm" which to me means "mmm I don't wanna get up even though I have to" but to her means "yes" so when I got up and was running around getting ready she said "I thought you said it was cancelled" and then I said "no, I said mmmm b/c I was whining." Then I remembered that I didn't want to talk. Oh well. So... God is amazing and I just love Jenna Stoia because she is amazing too. We were talking about AUCME and just in case some people read this who aren't supposed to know some things yet, I can't say what exactly is happening but it's amazing how God directs things to happen in the way He wants. I'll be more specific... perhaps in December.

Now I need to get started on some cleaning (mom and grandma are comin' Sautrday) and cooking (chicken fajita's and grandma's chocolate pie recipe).

Lyric of the day: "For every tear falls from your eyes, two tears fall from mine." - Two Tears, Hanson
Currently Playing
3 Car Garage
By Hanson
- Day Has Come

Come on Vominos. Everybody let's go. Come on let's get to it, I know that we can do it!

Ahh... theme song from Dora the Explorer! Stuck in my head b/c I am talking to Rob and having memories from camp. Una! Does! Three!

Anyway. Tonight we had a bonfire/smore-fest for our Jamaica trip, and we were talking about what we wanted to get out of it. I was talking about how in the middle of a small city like Anderson it's so hard to get out and enjoy nature, compared to the peaceful quiteness of watching the sunset from the beach at home. I was saying that I was looking forward to enjoying God's nature, since that's how he speaks to me. And then we were talking about silence. How hard it is to be completely silent. I wonder if it's possible for me to go 24 hours without speaking. Worth a try. Starting now. (1 am Monday night/Tuesday morning).

Lyric of the day: "I never thought that anyone would love me like you do." - Day Has Come

Sunday, November 7, 2004

God amazes me. Every stinkin' day.

I just watched "Life Is Beautiful" (hey Ellie - remember when we tried to watch it in Florida?) for the first time and oh... my... gosh. I was in the mood to watch a sad movie, and so... I did... and.. wow. If you want a good cry, watch it. It's amazing.

Thursday, November 4, 2004

This semester I have gone out of my comfort zone in several ways.

This semester God has shown me incredible things.

Why can I not help but think that these two are related?

What I am thinking right now:

-I am inadequate
-God will use me anyway
-I'm cold
-I have Anam Cara in an hour
-I worry too much about impressing people
-I'm hungry
-My biggest idol is my friends
-I feel like there's something deep inside of me trying to get out - what is it?