If you haven't read the post below this first, do so. Then read this. I was thinking about the situation in the shower (where some of my best thinking occurrs) and this is what I would like to reply with (this does not at all mean this is what I think is how I SHOULD reply).

It's not so much that he and my got a divorce, and I'm not trying to use Berni as a scapegoat (not intentionally anyway). It's that instead of going to counseling, then getting a divorce, then moving on and finding someone else, he found someone else, asked for a divorce, then went to counseling. That is what makes me so upset. And it's not that I don't want to be happy for him and meet this new person that he loves, it's that he packed up one day, moved out of the house, said to me "see you later" (I thought he was just going down to the yacht club for a little while) and moved in with her. Then later that night my mom told me about the note he left her. It's mostly that he met this woman over the internet and met her and moved in with her before trying to go to counseling and before doing anything he could do to try to save his marriage.

As far as my grandparents go - I love them. He's right, I don't call as often as I should, or visit as often as I should (I hardly ever call them - just birthdays - visit on the holidays - they live an hour and a half away from home, 5 from here) but they only call John and I on our birthdays and I couldn't even tell you the last time they visited. I have been here at AU for 3 years and they have not once even asked about it or made any effort to come here. John lived in Chicago for 3 (I think) years and same thing - never once went out there to visit. I'm not saying that this means I shouldn't call them and visit them more, I'm just saying that it should be the grandparents who put more effort into the relationship. What do you guys think? (about what i want to say to my dad, about my grandparents, about the situation in general). I'm just so hurt and so confused.