I feel like writing, but on nothing specific. Just writing. I don't do it often enough. Yes I write on here almost every day, I occasionally write in my regular journals. But there's always a purpose to the writing. It's raining right now... I love it. I love rain a lot. It's so refreshing. I just don't like it if it's too hot or too cold. The internship is winding down, two weeks left (actually a week and a half plus our ending retreat) and then it's done and over. People are already starting to check out and I don't like it.

Oh - Stacy H and Megs both wrote about feeling old in their journals and I had a few realizations this weekend.

Realization #1: Audrey, Kurt and I walking through parts of Chicago we've never been before. Felt the same way in Jamaica and London.

Realization #2: I went to Venetian and didn't see anyone I knew - because we've all moved on, don't live in town or have better things to do.

Realization #3: Going to Laura's house (the only one we saw in St. Joe) and [part A] her fiance offered us [part B] beer, Kurt accepted.

Realization #4: Sitting on my back patio with Kurt, Audrey, and my mom, eating grilled hamburgers and [part A] watching Kurt and Audrey talk with her like she was a collegue or peer, rather than a friends mom and [part B] we were all drinking wine coolers.

Realization #5: Showing Kurt and Audrey my house, walking into my bedroom and realizing for the first time, that I don't live there anymore. It was always my room even in college, for the summer and for Christmas break. Not anymore... I'm here all summer and I'll be in Italy for most of break.

Realization #6: Lying awake in bed last night and again this morning thinking in ten months I'll have a Bachelor's Degree in Christian Minsitries. Not only that but I have no freakin' clue what I want to do with it. I can live anywhere in the world I want and do anything in the world I want. There are so many places I would love living. I want to live in a city (off the top of my head: Boston, Seattle, Lexington, Nashville, Portland) but some day - maybe in the empty nest stage or when my kids are still young - I want to live somewhere with a lot of land and a horse. There are so many things I have thought of doing (after school program, having a coffee house, working in a church, any sort of urban ministry program) but I see so many downsides to each of them (none of it being money because I really don't care how much I make).