Yesterday I painted three paintings. They were all abstract. It's a funny thing, art. I'm not an "artist" in the fact that I do these things regularly. But while I was doing it, I felt like an artist. And I was thinking. I knew the size of my canvas, and I knew my colors to choose from (and also I know the basics of mixing colors, adding white or black, etc). All I knew was that I wanted to mainly use greens and blues. So, I put some blue, green, and white on my pallete (I didn't have black). And I put my brush in the blue. Then the white. Then the green. And I mixed it all together. The color came out and I put it on the canvas. Then when my brush got empty, I mixed some more together and it came out a different shade and I put that on the canvas. The movements of the brush came out and I didn't have to think about them. I didn't have to think about the colors either (beyond the basics). I love each painting that I did. The same basic principles turned out three different ways. I thought about God, and about my future. As long as I focus on the basic principles (God being the most important) then the rest will come out fine. I don't need to worry about where the next brushstroke is going... it will just happen.

I'm talking about life now.

IT'S COLD OUTSIDE! And I love it. Fall is my favorite season.

I love Mocha Joe's. For non-AU people it's a coffee shop on campus that also has an e-cafe and pool tables and ping pong tables and an air hockey table. I love it because I can go there on the breaks between my classes and I always see people and it's never planned.

For example. Today between 11-12 I sat with Jen Brooks and Krista Allen. And from 1-2 I ate lunch with Rae Bates, Erin Sprunger, and Meagan Barnett (and I hadn't seen Meagan in awhile.)

Yay! Oh! And the girls are getting their journals in the bookstore today. So yeeeeeehaw!

As promised, more memories.

Sixth - Caitlyn appologizing to the tree b/c we picked the blossoms. Making bracelets out of weeping willow branches. Lunches outside. "Blue butt" the "frog" (that was really a piece of plastic). Having a crush on Mr. Magrane.

Seventh - Mr. Adler and his really bad jokes. Reading Nancy Drew EVERY day almost. Art class w/ Ellie and making a clay tissue box. Mrs. Rapp "lost" my pinch pot (I think it actually broke in the kiln and she didn't want to tell me). Choir. Band. Mrs. Achteberg's english teaching. (The only good english teacher I have EVER had.) I can still recite the two-letter prepositions (in on at by of to up) and the exceptions to the "i before e when it sounds like e except after c" rule. "NEITHER of the SHEIK'S WEIRD FRIENDS SEIZED a SEIVE EITHER to eat PROTEIN, drink CAFFEINE, or take CODEINE for LEISURE." Remembering that ten years (has it really been that long) later? That's a good teacher. (of coures that assumes you pronounce them eether and neether instead of nighther and ighther.)

Eighth - Moving into the new wing. Making a bridge out of toothpicks for math class. "Stop the violence!" Everyone (it seemed) but me going on the trip to D.C. My first German class ("Wo bin ich? Ich kann fliegen!"). The very first end-of-the-year-beach-party at Warren Dunes with the "I heart the Pine River" cooler.

9th - Band in the auditorium. My obsession with Hanson. The beginning of Gamma Chick (which I believe there was a promised edition that never came out) and Wired Weekly. The really old, smashed grapes Ellie and I found in our locker at the end of the year. Really, I think they became wine. The old cafeteria and library. Sizzling Ice and the "First Circle" of death. Going to Chicago. Very Cherry Jelly Belly's. All the codes Heather and I had. Fall Retreat when Ryan carried me across the room and then something about cocoa puffs.

10th - New band room. New cafeteria and student lounge. The "media center". Rebecca and Stanely dating. Physical Science class w/ Mr. Chorny. The Blue Pig story. Beauty and the Beast. Christmas Dance. Mints down my dress.

11th - Skeletor's child. The bottle dance. Fiddler on Roof. Waving to bus drivers. Band camp. Meredith the lunch tray. Pasta Friday's and cheese stick Thursdays. Christmas Dance. Prom.

12th - The end. Exodus. Band camp, toga toga toga. My first car accident (Michelle Klug rear-ended me the day before graduation). Christmas Dance. Prom. Acting class. Law class (what a joke!) Art Club.

Funny how freshman year had the most specific memories. I remember some other things but the years kind of blend together.

Monday I skipped all my classes - I just didn't feel like going haha. But I did go to work, because I love my job. Then I came home and ate dinner with Jen (chicken and mac&cheese) and then we watched Friends, I drank coffee. And we (Jen and I) got emails about our first meeting for the Italy trip - the meeting is next week. Yay! Then we went to the first L'ami meeting of the year (post-rush) and it was mostly business-y but it was all stuff we needed to talk about and get out of the way. Then we introduced ourselves to the Dux boys (our brother club). Then I came home and did stuff (don't remember what) and went to bed. So... it started with a good day.

Tuesday (today) I skipped my 8:30 and chapel - I just didn't feel like going haha. But I did go to my 11:30 b/c I like it (Educational Ministries w/ Youth). Then I grabbed lunch and was going to be okay with eating it by myself in Mocha Joe's and reading, but then I ran into Erin Sprunger and her dad (Moose, who lead my trip to Jamaica) and so Erin stayed and ate with me. Yay for talking to Erin! Then I went to my 2:00 (History of Christianity - it's a good class). After class I ran into other roommate, Stacy and we had a good convo about a boy (no, not what you're probably thinking). She walked to work with me and met some of my way cool friends that I see every day - Jaret, Ti, Carly, Angela, and Ethan. She even held Ethan (even though he was drooly and screaming). Then she went to her job and I played with kids. Oh! And before lunch I bought "Captivating" which is one of the books I'm going to read for my independant study. Anyway... after work I had to walk to South Campus to get my video camera from Shannon. She wasn't home yet, but when I used the phone to call her, Stacy (my non-roommate) saw me and invited me to her apartment. There she gave me our family portrait* and made me some dinner*. Then Shannon came home and gave me my camera, and I walked back home. Then I did stuff on the computer and Jen came home with movies from the library. We watched "Italian For Beginners" which is NOT a learn-Italian video, it's an actual movie, but it's Danish. It was hilarious (though I don't think it was supposed to be). We also watched part of a travel guide video on Italy, and part of a learn Italian video. (So another great day). These great days will be continued with: dinner with Spitty, lunch with Stacy, visit from Krista.

*Okay. So, my family portrait and Stacy cooking me dinner. Two great reminders of this summer, our internship. One day we all got together (by all I mean all 12 interns and Matt) and got dressed up and got our picutre taken at WalMart. It's great. I'll try to scan it and post it. The dinner. It really made me miss our internship and our community meals. Four days a week we cooked dinner for anyone who showed up (usually 20-some) but that wasn't the only "community meals" (though they were the only official ones). I don't think anyone ever woke up and made breakfast without making enough for at least one other house mate to eat (even if no one else was awake yet). We would always make lunch for each other, and for Dan who came over almost every day to be fed. It became no big deal at all to just say (at any time of day) "Hey I'm making an omlet, anyone else want one?" We didn't just share food either. We shared everything. Our computers, our phones, our books, our movies, our coffee (even our favorite mugs). But most importantly - our lives. Melissa (one of the interns) wrote about it in "Other Voices" and she put it into better words than I can - "Community is not easy or comfortable. Living in an environment where you are constantly rubbing shoulders with the same people, who get to learn to love you and be annoyed by you and see your ugliness and pain as well as your heart, is a very beautiful and difficult experience." Donald Miller also says "I didn't know what to tihnk about the idea of living in community at first. I had lived on my own for about six years, and the idea of moving in with a bunch of slobs didn't appeal to me. Living in community sounded so, um, odd. Cults do that sort of thing, you know. First you live in community, and then you drink punch and die.... I have a picture on my desk of the six guys at Graceland, which is what we named the house. The picture on my desk is more than a picture of six guys; it's a picture of me in my transition, not a physical transition, but more of an inner shift from one sort of thinking to another." (Blue Like Jazz). "All the believers were of one heart and mind, and they felt what they owned was not their own; they shared everything they had." Acts 4:32

Wanna read related text? I recommend: "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, "No Compromise: The Life of Kieth Green" by Melonie Green, and Acts.

"So, you guys have parties every day?" - Steven from across the street this summer.

I just watched "Billy Madison" for the first time. (Please forgive me Denise!)

It made me think about random memories from different grades. I will now list some.

Preschool - We had colored dots to tell us what activity we were supposed to be at. One time I didn't know I was supposed to be at snack time and so I showed up late and missed out on the beach story, but still got my PB&J. Also I remember Nikki and I would fight over a Cinderella puzzle. Nikki and I are still friends.

Kindergarten - The letter people. I was Mr. Z when we went through the classrooms. I would be mean to Nikki and play with Libby instead. I remember making candles. This is when I met Jason and Ryan. I am still friends with all four of these people.

First - I remember that I peed my pants going down the tornado slide. I remember learning to tell time and count money.

Second - We learned cursive. Jenna stole my colored pencils. I remember drawing a picture for my teacher, and I think it was of a graveyard.

Third - I remember bringing my dog in for show and tell. I remember making a book of memories. Mr Hannah the bus driver. I was Helen Keller for a speech, and my best friend Libby was Anne Sullivan. "Math Game Day", where we walked a mile.

Fourth - We made time capsules that we were supposed to open when we graduated high school (the teacher kept them). It never happened, but I remember what I put in mine - a picture of my brother and I and an American Girl catalog. I remember "I can multiply 100" or something. We learned some German from some High School students.

Fifth - I remember sex ed. Libby was a domino for Halloween.

Elementary in general - I remember Tony. He was really smart. I don't remember what grade he was in with me but he was doing 8th grade math. Then he moved to Chicago to further his violin skills.

So it's DEFINATELY NOT 11:00pm. I DEFINATELY DO NOT have to figure out what I'm going to wear for tomorrow's rush day. We DEFINATELY DO NOT have to clean the kitchen, because we DEFINATELY DO NOT have the L'ami girls coming over tomorrow night to spend the night. And I DEFINATELY DO NOT have homework, and of course, I DEFINATELY DO NOT have to work at 8:30am. And, I'm DEFINATELY NOT still sick, and that sickness DEFINATELY DOES NOT now also include a cough/manvoice. And I DEFINATELY DID NOT get flour in my eye tonight, and it DEFINATELY DID NOT burn. My room is DEFINATELY NOT a mess.

I don't want a lot of money. I just want to be comfortable, to not have to worry about the next month's rent or whatever.

I just spent the morning looking at jobs. I know it's early (kinda) but I want to at least of some sort of idea of what I want to do by the time I graduate.

I still would like to live in London for a year after graduating. Then move to Ireland, or somewhere. Rotate countries for a few years.

I don't want to live alone. Roommate or husband, never alone.

I went through my whole box of tissues this week (150 count) and still need more. And I used a LOT of toilet paper instead when I was between classes.

Side Note - For those of you wanting to visit over Homecoming (Deanna, Megs, Mel, Brooke, anyone else??) I speak for my other roommates when I say any and/or all of you are more than welcome to spend any/ and/or all nights in our apartment. We have 2 couches and an airmatress. Just keep it in mind. Okay.

I know it's been a little longer than usual (meaning 1 day) since I last updated. But this is rush week, and basically, the name holds true.(Side note on rush week - in L'amifidel EVERYONE re-rushes and so it's not the old people degrating the new people. It's everyone playing games together.) I've been rushing around all week so far. Monday I had class, then work, then working out and then spending time with Erin at Mocha Joe's.

Erin @ Mocha Joe's - Amazing. It was so good to finally sit down with a friend and enjoy each other's company without having to worry about anything else. And yay for talking about dreams and Africa and making books and all kinds of other stuff. And I tried a flavored tea. It was "Wild Sweet Orange" (TAZO) and it was decent. Kind reminded me of hot apple cider. (This is a big deal that I tried it b/c I don't like tea.)

Tuesday I had class and then work and then the first rush meeting. After the rush meeting we went to WalMart to get stuff for rush (and YAY for me only spending $1.38 on rush), getting home at 1:30 and then staying up until 3:30 making my burden bag.

Burden Bag - We have several things for rush that we have with us at all times. We put each other's prayer requests in our bags. And also for each prayer request there is a small rock, to remind us that we carry each other's burdens, and to remind us to pray for each burden.

Today I went to class and then work (I know, never would have guessed.) And because it was rush week I was dressed up (kinda... remember, I only spend $1.38.) Today's dress theme was "native". Once again noticed that work is amazing and it is the highlight of my day. Then we rushed. We played games, said our cheers. We also had a little treasure hunt which took us from the FART breezeway over to Miller Chapel, and then the Tri-S office, and then Park Place, and then the Haven, and then back to FART. (The treasure was candy.) I personally did not understand WHAT the crap my roommates (2/3 of the rush captains) meant by "native" (native american? native someothercountry? WHAT?)

"Native" - My dress? 1) Flip-flops. 2) Blue jeans. 3) Plain white T-shirt with blue sharpie... Front: "AE[Pi symbol here] Rush 2005 Today I Am A..." Back: NATIVE (I don't know... ask my roommates, the rush captains.) Native's don't have $ to buy rush costumes." 4) Last year's AEPi strap thingy around my left knee 5) My warm fuzzy (yarn that has significant meaning) 6) My YELLOW (Jonah??) bandana from camp because I couldn't find last years rush bandanas. 7) My burden bag. 8) Fake ivy in my hair, just because.

So today is my brother's birthday. He's freakin' 25 years old. I don't know how that's possible. The card I sent him has a picture of a middle-aged man in a circus costume. It says "So, you will not go to Omaha with Paco? Paco can show you many things, but Paco will not beg." Then you open it and it says "Birthday or not, don't go with Paco"

Yeah. I don't get it. But it's great. So... I woke up yesterday with a cold. The whole running/stuffy (at the same time) nose, sneezing, sore throat, sinus headache. Yeah. I have it today also. I'm really tempted to just skip all my classes and sleep... but I've been good so far (yeah I know it's only been two weeks) about not skipping... so yeah. I'll probably go. But this whole sick thing is really bad timing b/c this week is rush week and it's going to be crazy busy. Class/work until 6pm then rush from 7-10.

I tried to go to bed early last night - it didn't work. I couldn't fall asleep. Then I woke up early today. So... now I get to make coffee! Because Stacy and I bought some Saturday and Jen finally brought back her coffee pot

So, one might ask, what did Holly do Friday night? I'll tell you! I got home from work around 6pm. Then I bugged Jen about what she wanted for dinner, and ended up making a frozen pizza for myself. Later Stacy made one for herself too, and Jen made soup. Yeah. So... we watched one of our staple movies - Pirates of the Caribbean - and then Stacy and I walked over to Byrum for the first Randomonium (non AU ppl - it's an improv group on campus). I'll be honest, I was disappointed. Where was Hawaii? I know he's still around! And Joel graduated... it made a big difference. And Stacy and I had some good works picked to yell out, but they never fit the criteria of what they wanted. (I'm not telling the words because if we go again - we're still using them.) Then we walked home and I played on the computer for awhile and watched some MadTV before falling asleep. That's it.

Last night I took a break from everything and went to the Mocha Joe's open house. Which means... Air Hockey with Stacy (she won, but it was very close), Scott Williams (I miss him) in concert, and Micah Gilliam (I don' know if I spelled his last name right) and another guy (don't remember his name) from their band, and then another guy (don't remember who) that I didn't stay for. And I played two games of Sorry with Stacy and Jen (and one of those was with Stephanie, Mel's roommate for two days this summer). The first one Stacy won, the second I did. Hadn't played it in probably over 10 years. Well.. now I'm off to class for the day. OH! I get to eat lunch with one of my favorite people today. Stacy Lantz. OH! And Monday I get to drink coffee/tea with another favorite person of mine. Erin Sprunger.

Briefly between classes... some Augustine quotes:

"You stir man to take pleasure in praising you, because you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you."

"We cannot think you are given coherence by vessels full of you, because even if they were to be broken, you would not be split."

"Who then are you, my God? What, I ask, but God who is Lord? For 'who is the Lord but the Lord', or 'who is Godbut our God?'. Most high, utterly good, utterly powerful, most omnipotent, most merciful and most just, deeply hidden yet most intimately present, perfection of both beauty and strenght, stable and incomprehensible, immutable and yet changing all things, never new, never old, making everything new and 'leading' the proud 'to be old without their knowledge'; always active, always in repose, gathering to yourself but not in need, supporting and filling and protecting, creating and nurturing and bringing to maturity, searching even though to you nothing is lacking: you love without burning, you are jealous in a way that is free of anxiety, you 'repent' without the pain of regret, you are wrathful and remain tranquil. You will a change without any change in your design. You recover what you find, yet have never lost. Never in any need, you rejoice in your gains; you are never avaricious, yet you require interest. We pay you more than you require so as to make you our debtor, yet who has anything which does not belong to you? You pay off debs, though owning nothing to anyone; you cancel debts and incur no loss. But in these words what have I said, my God, my life, my holy sweetness? What has anyone achieved in words when he speaks about you? Yet woe to those who are siletna bout you because, though loquacious with verbosity, they have nothing to say."

Downside of working with infants: the toys - you get songs like "O Suzanna" stuck in your head while waking home.

The past always, ALWAYS repeats itself. Sometimes in the way you would least expect...

I just finished reading "Prince Caspian" (the 4th book in the Chronicles of Narnia) so when I get to the library tomorrow, I'll get number 5.

Happy Labor Day! Uh.. mine's not too exciting. My dad's on his way down to fix my car, woohoo! Yay for working cars. And he'll get to see the apartment, even though it's still messy (but not AS messy, now that our dishwasher works). Then after he leaves I'm going to work on cleaning and homework. Oh joy. Maybe I'll watch a movie with my rneighbor. ("rneighbor" is Stacy). Maybe Jen will watch with us?

So the first week is over and I didn't skip a single class (though once tempted by a bad headache) or chapel. I wonder how many more weeks that will last. Here are my current thougths regarding my classes...

Teaching Ministry of the Church, Dr. Overstreet - I'm going to just have to try to have a positive attitude about the class despite the fact that I don't work well with his style of teaching, or hair (including facial).

Corporate Ministries: Communicating the Gospel, Dr. Overstreet - See above. Although, at least this year the mullet is less mullet-like and there is a beard to accompany the mustache. Overall he looks less like "Chester Molester" (compliments of Deanna!)

Educational Ministries with Youth, Dr. Stephenson and Mark Idon'trememberhislastname - haven't yet figured out Stephenson's style, as he is still on his honeymoon. But Mark is cool and it's a great group of students for a discussion class... I'm really excited, though I need to find a youth group to involve myself in, as The Mercy House doesn't have one.

Faith and Worship, Dr. Walters - It's going to be good. He's funny and I know like 8 people in the class so when we do group stuff (which he will assign the groups) I'm sure I'll get someone I know.

History of Christianity, Dr. Strege - A crapload of reading, including Augustine's "Confessions". I've been wanting to read that, knowing I would never actually make myself do it, but now I have a reason to. A bit overwhelming, but I can do it. Kurt and Shannon told me the class is hard, but good. We'll see. Strege is a lot less boring than I imagined him to be. I just hope I still like him by the end of semester, as he will then lead my trip to Italy.

Other news...

Work - Today was the last day of my first week in my new position. This position doesn't make a difference in my pay or anything, but this summer I was a sub/floater, so I would go to the different ages depending on where they needed me. This semester I am working as the second afternoon teacher for the infants. Every day with Janet's annoying baby-talk voice, but other than that she's fun and nice. And of course the babies are amazing in every way. I need to remember to take my camera to work. There are 8 babies. Maybe next week I'll post some details about each, and hopefully some pictures.

Non-text reading - A couple days ago I checked out "Prince Caspian", the next book in the Chronicles of Narnia. I know I'm not going to have a TON of fun-reading time, but I really wanna finish the series. And also today I bought "Through Painted Deserts" by Don Miller. He's the guy who wrote "Blue Like Jazz" and if you haven't read that yet, do it! It is an AMAZING book. He later wrote "Searching for God Knows What", which is also good, but not AS good as Blue.... This "new" book is actually just being re-published, and he wrote it before Blue but it wasn't well known about, so I'm excited to read it. He's an incredible author and they are easy reads. Reading his work makes me feel like we're at a coffee shop together and he's just telling me his stories. He's coming to chapel in November and I hope to finish the "new" book before he comes. But school needs to be a priority.

Graduation - I started to fill out my application last night and had a meeting with the Shivester today. Shively noticed that I am missing 1 upper division class. It doesn't matter what class it is as long as it's a Christian Ministries caption, upper division, and three credit hours. Unfortunately, no more of them are being offered either this semester or next (meaning none that I haven't already taken or am taking). So, guess what that means. Within the next week I get to construct my own Independent Study reading course, and he and I will make a syllabus together. I have to read at least 900 pages and we'll come up with some papers for me to write. But I get to choose the "course title" and what books I want to read. The reading will take place over Christmas break.