Thursday, December 9, 2010

a numbers game.

last night i was asked, on a scale of 1-10, how much do i open up to people about what's really going on in my life, why i'm struggling with, what questions i'm bringing to god, etc. i said i was a 2, at least when it comes to social settings in groups (which is the context in which this question was asked of me). but i'm not a 2 because i don't want to share; i'm a 2 because i don't know how. it takes me a long time to process my thoughts answers to deeper questions, and sometimes, like when i was afraid, it can even take weeks before i know how to share my thoughts. and so i think that's what this blog has been for me lately: a place where i can be more like a 6. i can see my thought written down and edit them before they are really out there. and most of what i share on here comes after several days of planning. (but it's all written in one sitting.)

and i do have a few people i can be 9s and 10s with, but they are few. i think none of us wood survive long in this world if we didn't have at least one person to be a 10

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