i am reminded again today that none of this is in my hands. as much as i like to think otherwise, i do not control my life, no do i have the power to change my life (only the gospel has the power to change my life). everything is in god's hands. in my human sinful nature i can't help but be angered by this and frustrated to know that ultimately it's not up to me. i can strive to make things happen the way i want them to, but until i allow my will to reflect that of the one who knows best, that cannot happen.
and though easier said than done, i need to remember that it's better this way. god understands my needs and desires much more than i do.
sometimes i can't help but think that he gets a little chuckle out of my futile endeavors.