Currently Listening To: Jars of Clay - Tea and Sympathy

Fare thee well
Trade in all our words for tea and sympathy
Wonder why we tried, for things that could never be
Play our hearts lament, like an unrehearsed symphony

Not intend
To leave this castle full of empty rooms
Our love the captive in the tower never rescued
And all the victory songs
Seem to be playing out of tune

But it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be

You begin
And all your words fall to the floor and break like china cups
And the waitress grabs a broom and tries to sweep them up
I reach for my tea and slowly drink in

'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy
'Cause it's not the way
That it has to be
Don't trade our love for tea and sympathy

So fare thee well
Words the bag of leaves that fill my head
I could taste the bitterness and call the waitress instead
She holds the answer, smiles and asks one teaspoon or two

Don't trade us for tea and sympathy
Don't trade us for tea and Sympathy

Happy Day! It's like 75 or something and BEAUTIFUL!!!! Today in PE we played touch football outside and I didn't think I'd like it, but it was fun blocking Deanna and having her block me (meaning I would purposely run behind her and pretend like I actually wanted to catch the ball). Yay for that. Then I ate some lunch and Jen and I cleaned our cars. My car was pretty trashed. I took out EVERY TINY bit of nast that I could (there's still some melted/hardened gummi life savor type thing in the ash tray) cleaned up spilled stuff (like the coffe that spilled Sunday on my way back when I hit a pot hole), dusted the dash and also used Windex Multipurpose on it, cleaned the windows, used Resolve on the seats, washed it with every step in at the car wash (except the foam brush b/c I didn't have enough quarters) and vacuumed it better than it ever has been. I had never paid to vacum before b/c I usually do it at home for free, but our vacum sucks. Actually no it doesn't suck and that's the problem. Anyway... yeah. IT'S FREAKING CLEAN!!! I didn't vacum the trunk b/c that would have taken forever... maybe next week. I really want to wash it about once a week so that it stays nice. I put the winter stuff like scrapers and de-icer in the trunk and so the only thing in my car (besides flashlights, important info, maps, etc in the glove box) is an Anderson phone book and some paper towels. IT'S CLEAN! I'm so happy about it! Hehehe. And a note to people who ride in my car - there's a little pocket in the shotgun door - it's not a trash can! There were some NASTY things in there that I don't even know what they were. I think my car could get a little cleaner under the seats where I can't reach b/c a long time ago my pig keychain and car key fell off the other key chain and today I found the pig keychain but still can't find the car key (but yay for spares!). So now that I've posted a whole boring paragraph about my car... time to clean myself. I'm sweaty and nast. And then tonight Ryan and Lisa and I are going to go see The Ring Two. We have to see it together b/c the three of us saw the original together in the theater on Halloween two years ago and it was the first of many, many things we did together.



The end. And then I found $1.06 American and $1.10 Jamaican. No really, I did when I was cleaning the car.

Yay for last night. We had elections for L'ami for '05-'06 and I was elected President - I'm really excited about it! And my roomie is VP, not Stacy though b/c she's not in L'ami. And Jen is Service Coordinator (in charge of setting up service projects) and yeah... it'll be a fun time.

Tonight is apartment draw. I hope we get in East - for non AU peeps that's a NEW apartment building that is still being built. Umm... yeah living with three L'ami officers Stacy better rush next year

More about last night - after L'ami Mel, Jen and I did the usual Perkins run which was usual and great. Then we decided to go see Creepy Jesus - we haven't seen him since Christmas time w/ Jen Lo Sasso (who we miss very much). So we get there and there's an arch around him, which there always has been I think. And it has Christmas lights on it, but it's more springy and not Christmasy.... and the lights are on. Mel pulls up to shine her headlights on it and (we later find out that at this point Jen was thinking to herself 'watch it do something creepy this time') and the lights went off. I was just like "umm hey uhhh that's really weird, uhh the lights were on and now they aren't." and then a few seconds later the lights came back on and we all screamed like girls. Well we are girls but yeah. As we were screaming Mel peeled out and drove away, but the opposite way you're supposed to leave, because that's the way her car was pointing. So she turns around and we're like "please let the lights stay on..." and so we are driving back and the lights stay on, and Jen turned to look at it as we passed it and thought to herself "what if I'm looking back here and we hit something and all I hear is BOOM!" and meanwhile I see something on the side of the road, I say "dog!" but then I realize it's not a dog. It's a deer. So I say "deer! deer! deer!" meanwhile Mel is looking at a buck on the left side of the road in the field, but I'm looking at the doe in the middle of the street right in front of us. She finally sees the doe and slams on her breaks (getting Jen's attention and freaking her out because BOOM??) so Jen yells "SH*T!!" and yeah. We didn't hit it but we were only a few feet away from it. Something else happened.

To my brother, who doesn't read this but yeah:

You're defined by having an open mind
Yet you close me out everytime I speak mine
We could agree to disagree and move on but humans love proving each other wrong
Forget it
Religion, cultural differences, politics
This list could go on forever if we let it
This repetative rhetoric is pathetic
Back to nowhere is where the argument's headed
You are who you are
Who am I to end it?
Hey I can't make you think past your mental limit
I am not God, I do not set the standard
Do not look to me if you want to expand yours
You see, me and you, we didn't create the truth
Without the grace of God our views are construed and at best just a good attempt
Heck, it wasn't until I surrendered my opinion that life made sense

I have no opinion, I don't
I could, but I won't
I'm tired of arguing
I have no opinion, nor do I need to win
See, I'm tired, I'm tired of arguing
So don't begin with what cannot end
Because I'm tired, I'm tired of arguing
I have no opinion, actually I do
I just don't want to dispute with you

I'm only so many years old
Raised in Columbus, Ohio what do I know?
Midwest perspective, midwest approach to life
American church, American Jesus Christ
The do's and dont's, the wrongs and rights
The facts of life aren't always black and white
But when it's all said and done, at the end of the day
I'm trusting God to guide me through the gray





5 points to whoever knows who that's by - Melissa Kae and Ryan aren't allowed to tell

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Hurray for my group at home - Krista, Holly, Katie, and Chris. You know what I like about my group at home? Krista is my best friend. She's the person that I feel like I can tell ANYTHING to and it doesn't matter. Holly and Katie are best friends and so I assume they feel the same way about each other. Katie and Chris are engaged, so I hope they feel that way and so much more. So even though there are sets within the group that are closer, I love that we can still all hang out. Like, I can hang out with Holly and not Krista, even if Krista is home and not doing anything, and that's fine. And Holly and Krista can hang out and it's fine. And Holly and Katie can hang out, and Chris and Katie, and Krista and myself, etc. It doesn't matter who we're with we still have a great time without thinking constantly "oh I wish Krista was here" or whatever. Yay for group dynamics. Yay for my friends at home. And when we are hanging, all 5 of us, we're a group. We're not two sets of best friends and an engaged couple, we're a group of 5 friends hanging out and having fun.

I'M FREAKING IN LONDON!!!!! Woot baby woot!

So much to say but I don't want to use my 30 min that I paid £1 (about $2) for to just post a long Xanga -that'll wait 'til home. So here's a brief overview:

-sleep
-small wc
-what time is it?
-tube
-mind the gap
-eye
-beheading

Okay so like I said Sunday the sermon was about dying to yourself.

Last night we asked what that meant. We decided that it means "being in a perpetual state of throwing up your hands and saying 'I can't do this.' It means that you no longer turn to yourself for solutions."

We also need to live in a way that everything we do brings glory to God. He gave us our passions to bring Him glory and also to bring us joy. One guy who mentioned this is an art student, and he pointed out that it's so easy to paint or draw something and look at how beautiful this thing is that he made and how great of an artist he is, but instead he needs to look at it and think of how wonderful God is for giving him art.

It sounds so cliche (and there are soooo many cliches in the church) but whatever it is you love to do - do it for Him!

God, I can't do this anymore.