Sunday, January 30, 2005
I had a FUNTIME (okay, chill) this weekend. Yay for Krista and Pishy. There was also about a foot of snow up there - woot. Friday night Pishy had an 80's party which consisted of side pony tails and The Breakfast Club. Then Krista and I stayed up and talked about some drama goin' on in our lives - hers is kinda similar to mine actually, or at least some of it was. Then yay sleep! Saturday morning I went with Krista and one of her friends to look at apartments downtown Grand Rapids - it took us awhile to find them and then we couldn't get in because no one was in the office even though they were supposed to be open at that time. So then Krista and I went to Mancino's for lunch, and then we went back to Holly's apartment and she took a shower and then we all went and got coffee - yummy! After coffee we I don't remember what, followed by Tae Bo - yay for sweaty man instructor guy who was fake sweaty after only sweating - yay for old work out videos! hahaha! Then we went to this thing for one of Holly's friends where he asked a bunch of people what they thought about the GVSU library - how it was helpful, how it could be improved, etc. I had fun even though it doesn't sound fun and I couldn't give any input. Then we at applesauce and went to this overnighter thing they had for their little sibs weekend - Holly and Krista had signed up to volunteer to help work the event, so then I did too. Holly and I delt black jack - for 5 hours ha. Then the night ended with raffle drawings - I didn't win anything. And then we went home and went to bed. Slept in this morning - no church. And then we had chinese and now I'm back and writing this but now I'm stopping
Friday, January 28, 2005
Well last night we went to Perkins and on the way back we were singing and Mel just stopped and said "I think I" and couldn't talk and looked like she was either choking or about to vomit, or both. Turns out she has calluses (?) on her vocal cords and she felt like one of them burst, but she wouldn't let us take her to the ER. But yeah so got back late last night from her apartment. Today I have New Testament Ethics and then Ryan's coming over for lunch and then I have PE and then I'm taking a quick shower, packing, and going to Michigan to visit Pishy and Krista since I couldn't go last weekend. Woot.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
I heard a quote once that said "words are poor containers for our thoughts" and that's totally true, but here I go anyway...
"The voice often comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable.... But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable... a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love.... rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure... the tears I shed in the moments before sleep were sad and joyous and felt not at all contradictory...Not realizing it is a journey of the heart that is called for, we make a crucial mistake. We come to a place in our spiritual life where we hear God calling us. We know he is calling us to give up the less-wild lovers that have become so a part of our identity, embrace our nakedness, and trust in his goodness.... When did I stop listening?" - John Eldredge, "Sacred Romance"
I don't know where I'm going with this. It's 1:30 am. John up there is right - God definately speaks to us in the wee hours of the night/morning. We just need to listen. Two weeks ago in church Matt spoke about how we need to stop worrying about being busy Christians and be more focused on having a deeper relationship with God. This has been a tough thing for me and as I posted earlier I have been very dry lately. I haven't been reading my Bible and I haven't done much praying either, with the exception of "Honey Do" prayers. I was definately convicted. So... in the past week what did I do about it? Nothing. Then this past Sunday comes. Yet another amazing sermon - this time about how Jesus was zealous for His temple and overturned the tables - the NLT version of John 2:17 says "Passion for God's house burns within me." - but 1 Cor 6:19 says that "Don't you know that your body is the temple of theHoly Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God?" - so... Jesus could say to me that "Passion for YOU burns within ME!" - should we reverse that as well?
Sunday Evening - I finally read my Bible. I read James 5 for my bible study with Puff, Deanna, Ruth, and Stacy. So we talk about it, yay. But then we get on this tangent about God's will. God's will is a topic that has had much debate throughout always. At this point there are too many things going in my head to even remember what was said Sunday night.
Tonight. There's a group at Mercy House who meet with Matt at his house and last week they discussed that they were passionate about the city of Anderson and the community of Anderson and that they wanted to do something about it. He suggested that we read and discuss Nehemiah, because basically, he was the same way. And he did do something about it. So this afternoon I didn't read the whole 13 chapters because I knew this wasn't just a one time thing - but I did read the first four. And wow - I have never gotten so much out of an Old Testament narrative before. It's incredible. And looking back over these scriptures I don't think that in the past I would have gotten so much out of them either. So tonight we had our discussion about it - and it also eventually went into discussion of God's will. So... all of what I've prepped with here and some other things I haven't mentioned yet... here are where my thoughts are going (if they are even understandable, which I don't think is a word)
God's will - so many of us are so worried about what God's will is for our lives. We've been told many things and we don't know how to balance it. Last semester during Spiritual Emphasis Week (as opposed to IMPACT your world week - had to throw that in for Thrash) Bart Compalo (sp?) came and I remember him talking about how as Christians we spend too much time praying about stuff and using that as an excuse not to do it. If a man says, "Hey I have an opportunity for you to go to this ministry and help these people" as Chrsitians we tend to say "okay let me go home and pray about it and figure out if that's God's will" and then we pray and pray and usually forget about it. Bart told us repeatedly to "go until we hear no" - and he definately has a point. If it's "God's will" for us to go then when we start to go doors will open and we'll get the money, the days off work, etc. But if He doesn't, then those things won't happen. But tonight in our dicussion (I'm running so fast to catch up with my thoughts that I can't tell if I'm spelling things right or not so bear with me) Matt brought up the example of how this is not necessarily right - Abraham and Sarah. God told Abraham that he would have a son and Abraham looked at Sarah and said, "dude, she's old, she can't have kids" so he slept with her servant and got Ishmael - which lead to the Muslim faith. So at this point we decided that you need to have a balance between prayer and doing. Nehemiah prayed for four to sixth months before God opened the doors of communication between him and the king (to get permission to rebuild the walls). Nehemiah could have brought it up at any point before that, but it probably would have resulted in his death. Instead the king was gung-ho about it and even helped him out more than he asked for. So then we got talking about how do we balance and all that. Dansky brought up Romans 12:1-2 "And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done fo you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what god wants you to do, and you will know how good and pelasing and perfect his will really is." - Dansky talked about how we should be servants ready and willing to do our duties - to pray every morning, "God, I am your servant. What duties do I have today?" (not his exact words, but the idea that I remember). He compared this to a child telling his parent "I'm ready to do whatever chores you have for me" - obviously that child is going to get a lot of chores - and we should be like that with God, and then do those chores and that will be our spiritual act of worship. But then Paul brought up the fact that we should rest in God and dwell in His presence. And many other things were brought up that just went back and forth between opposites. But I think, at least for me... it eventually boiled down to this:
We need to not worry about knowing God's will - we need to focus only on knowing God. The whole of the Bible can be summed up in this - love God. I believe that if every day we try to know and love God as much as we can, then His will is going to be carried out in that. This does not exclude human nature and sin - those things will happen, and they will be roadblocks along the way. But if we model our lives after God - he will work through us. Jesus was just walking down the road or hanging out with his friends, and someone would come along and need his help, and he helped them. If I came back to my apartment and my roommate was freakishly bleeding badly I wouldn't stop and pray if it was God's will that I call 911. I would just do it. The more we grow and learn to love and know God, then the more His life is going to be reflected in our actions. I think that I almost belive that I do know what God's will is for every single human being...
love
"O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his covenant of unfailing love with those who love him and obey his commands, listen to my prayer! Look down and see me praying night and day for you people Isreal. I confess that we have sinned against you. Yes, even my own family and I have sinned! We have sinned terribly by not obeying the commands, laws, and regulations that you gave us through your servant Moses. Please remember what you told your servant Moses: 'If you sin, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back ot the place I have chosen for my name to be honored.' We are your servants, the people you rescued by your great power and might. O Lord, please hearm y prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you, Please grant me success now as I go to ask the king for a great favor. put it into his heart o be kind to me." - Nehemiah 1: 5-11
"The voice often comes in the middle of the night or the early hours of morning, when our hearts are most unedited and vulnerable.... But there is the busyness, the drivenness, the fact that most of us are living merely to survive. Beneath it we feel restless, weary, and vulnerable... a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love.... rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure... the tears I shed in the moments before sleep were sad and joyous and felt not at all contradictory...Not realizing it is a journey of the heart that is called for, we make a crucial mistake. We come to a place in our spiritual life where we hear God calling us. We know he is calling us to give up the less-wild lovers that have become so a part of our identity, embrace our nakedness, and trust in his goodness.... When did I stop listening?" - John Eldredge, "Sacred Romance"
I don't know where I'm going with this. It's 1:30 am. John up there is right - God definately speaks to us in the wee hours of the night/morning. We just need to listen. Two weeks ago in church Matt spoke about how we need to stop worrying about being busy Christians and be more focused on having a deeper relationship with God. This has been a tough thing for me and as I posted earlier I have been very dry lately. I haven't been reading my Bible and I haven't done much praying either, with the exception of "Honey Do" prayers. I was definately convicted. So... in the past week what did I do about it? Nothing. Then this past Sunday comes. Yet another amazing sermon - this time about how Jesus was zealous for His temple and overturned the tables - the NLT version of John 2:17 says "Passion for God's house burns within me." - but 1 Cor 6:19 says that "Don't you know that your body is the temple of theHoly Spirit who lives in you and was given to you by God?" - so... Jesus could say to me that "Passion for YOU burns within ME!" - should we reverse that as well?
Sunday Evening - I finally read my Bible. I read James 5 for my bible study with Puff, Deanna, Ruth, and Stacy. So we talk about it, yay. But then we get on this tangent about God's will. God's will is a topic that has had much debate throughout always. At this point there are too many things going in my head to even remember what was said Sunday night.
Tonight. There's a group at Mercy House who meet with Matt at his house and last week they discussed that they were passionate about the city of Anderson and the community of Anderson and that they wanted to do something about it. He suggested that we read and discuss Nehemiah, because basically, he was the same way. And he did do something about it. So this afternoon I didn't read the whole 13 chapters because I knew this wasn't just a one time thing - but I did read the first four. And wow - I have never gotten so much out of an Old Testament narrative before. It's incredible. And looking back over these scriptures I don't think that in the past I would have gotten so much out of them either. So tonight we had our discussion about it - and it also eventually went into discussion of God's will. So... all of what I've prepped with here and some other things I haven't mentioned yet... here are where my thoughts are going (if they are even understandable, which I don't think is a word)
God's will - so many of us are so worried about what God's will is for our lives. We've been told many things and we don't know how to balance it. Last semester during Spiritual Emphasis Week (as opposed to IMPACT your world week - had to throw that in for Thrash) Bart Compalo (sp?) came and I remember him talking about how as Christians we spend too much time praying about stuff and using that as an excuse not to do it. If a man says, "Hey I have an opportunity for you to go to this ministry and help these people" as Chrsitians we tend to say "okay let me go home and pray about it and figure out if that's God's will" and then we pray and pray and usually forget about it. Bart told us repeatedly to "go until we hear no" - and he definately has a point. If it's "God's will" for us to go then when we start to go doors will open and we'll get the money, the days off work, etc. But if He doesn't, then those things won't happen. But tonight in our dicussion (I'm running so fast to catch up with my thoughts that I can't tell if I'm spelling things right or not so bear with me) Matt brought up the example of how this is not necessarily right - Abraham and Sarah. God told Abraham that he would have a son and Abraham looked at Sarah and said, "dude, she's old, she can't have kids" so he slept with her servant and got Ishmael - which lead to the Muslim faith. So at this point we decided that you need to have a balance between prayer and doing. Nehemiah prayed for four to sixth months before God opened the doors of communication between him and the king (to get permission to rebuild the walls). Nehemiah could have brought it up at any point before that, but it probably would have resulted in his death. Instead the king was gung-ho about it and even helped him out more than he asked for. So then we got talking about how do we balance and all that. Dansky brought up Romans 12:1-2 "And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done fo you, is this too much to ask? Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what god wants you to do, and you will know how good and pelasing and perfect his will really is." - Dansky talked about how we should be servants ready and willing to do our duties - to pray every morning, "God, I am your servant. What duties do I have today?" (not his exact words, but the idea that I remember). He compared this to a child telling his parent "I'm ready to do whatever chores you have for me" - obviously that child is going to get a lot of chores - and we should be like that with God, and then do those chores and that will be our spiritual act of worship. But then Paul brought up the fact that we should rest in God and dwell in His presence. And many other things were brought up that just went back and forth between opposites. But I think, at least for me... it eventually boiled down to this:
We need to not worry about knowing God's will - we need to focus only on knowing God. The whole of the Bible can be summed up in this - love God. I believe that if every day we try to know and love God as much as we can, then His will is going to be carried out in that. This does not exclude human nature and sin - those things will happen, and they will be roadblocks along the way. But if we model our lives after God - he will work through us. Jesus was just walking down the road or hanging out with his friends, and someone would come along and need his help, and he helped them. If I came back to my apartment and my roommate was freakishly bleeding badly I wouldn't stop and pray if it was God's will that I call 911. I would just do it. The more we grow and learn to love and know God, then the more His life is going to be reflected in our actions. I think that I almost belive that I do know what God's will is for every single human being...
love
"O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps his covenant of unfailing love with those who love him and obey his commands, listen to my prayer! Look down and see me praying night and day for you people Isreal. I confess that we have sinned against you. Yes, even my own family and I have sinned! We have sinned terribly by not obeying the commands, laws, and regulations that you gave us through your servant Moses. Please remember what you told your servant Moses: 'If you sin, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring you back ot the place I have chosen for my name to be honored.' We are your servants, the people you rescued by your great power and might. O Lord, please hearm y prayer! Listen to the prayers of those of us who delight in honoring you, Please grant me success now as I go to ask the king for a great favor. put it into his heart o be kind to me." - Nehemiah 1: 5-11
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
Yay for winter and all the pretty snow - but boo for the roads not being very safe and me not getting to see Krista and Holly this weekend. But it's for the best anyway because now I can go to the meeting at Mercy House on Sunday after church, and Krista said she has a lot of homework this weekend and that on Saturday night her roommates are going to have a bunch of people over and they'll probably be drunk. So yeah. But I miss those girls. Anyway - snow is pretty. It's fun walking through it to class also. Yay for class getting out early this morning. Yay for working out Wednesday in class and being sore yesterday, but working out again anyway last night w/ the roomies and the ervinator, and yay for not being as sore today and yay for working out in class in a few hours and yay for the word yay. Yay.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Here's the email that I sent to Matt Conner about Mercy House this past Sunday, and his sermon -
I missed the Mercy House while I was gone! A lot. I'm sitting here talking to Jenna right now about your sermon today and I just wanted to tell you how much it hit home for me. I have been feeling really dry lately, and similar to your trip to Israel I was expecting my mission trip to Jamaica to be this great eye-opening experience that would blossom my relationship with God and while it was an amazing trip and I met some great people I found myself totally forgetting that I was there to serve Him and to grow in Him and actually hardly even thought of God at all while I was there. I didn't really notice this until I got back and one of my friends asked me what God showed me on the trip and I had a hard time coming up with an answer. I know there are so many things that I saw and experienced that are of Him but I feel like I have been blinded from it and have come away with just a few new friends and a tan. And I also know that I need to read my Bible a lot more often because right now I really don't read it all that much at all, but at the same time I don't want it to become habit or duty. I also realized this morning that I have a lot of pride. Not pride as in I want people to see the great things I do or anything but pride in that I want people to think that I have an amazing relationship with God and that everything in my life is perfect. I feel like I just started on a new topic and that I stopped mid-thought but really I'm done so - the end!
I missed the Mercy House while I was gone! A lot. I'm sitting here talking to Jenna right now about your sermon today and I just wanted to tell you how much it hit home for me. I have been feeling really dry lately, and similar to your trip to Israel I was expecting my mission trip to Jamaica to be this great eye-opening experience that would blossom my relationship with God and while it was an amazing trip and I met some great people I found myself totally forgetting that I was there to serve Him and to grow in Him and actually hardly even thought of God at all while I was there. I didn't really notice this until I got back and one of my friends asked me what God showed me on the trip and I had a hard time coming up with an answer. I know there are so many things that I saw and experienced that are of Him but I feel like I have been blinded from it and have come away with just a few new friends and a tan. And I also know that I need to read my Bible a lot more often because right now I really don't read it all that much at all, but at the same time I don't want it to become habit or duty. I also realized this morning that I have a lot of pride. Not pride as in I want people to see the great things I do or anything but pride in that I want people to think that I have an amazing relationship with God and that everything in my life is perfect. I feel like I just started on a new topic and that I stopped mid-thought but really I'm done so - the end!
Monday, January 17, 2005
First weekend of the semester:
Friday we had to jog 1.5 miles in PE class woot. Um then I was done for the day and so I showered and Jen came up and we watched TV and then Thrasher and Megs came over, Stacy got home... we were going to watch a movie but we ended up just watching Jen and Megs wrestle on top of Thrasher and then we decided to go out to eat - woot Texas Roadhouse! Then afterwards Stacy and I went to see Shrek 2 in Reardon (the auditorium on campus) for free and that was fun... but the fun was only beginning! We walked out of the theatre and everyone was looking at this really bright white cloud and there were helicopters circling it. So we came back the apartment and there was a voice mail from the physical plant that said the Magnesium plant (about 15 blocks down) was exploding and that the city evacuated about 8,000 people. At this point AU didn't have to evacuate but if the wind changed we would have to - the fire itself wasn't a concern but while watching the news we learned that the fumes are toxic (even though AU told us they weren't) so Megs, Thrash, Amy, Ervin, Stacy and I evacuated to Megs' house in Indy just to be safe.
Since Ervin stole my paragraph, I'm stealing her pics and captions:
In this picture you can see where the building collapsed. The part that is still standing was holding blocks of pure magnesium, and by miracle only, did not catch on fire as well:
Yay for there only being 4 magnesium plants and Anderson's being the largest in the world and exploding! Funtime! Okay. chill. We came back Saturday afternoon, and on the way Jen got pulled over for speeding hahaha but no ticket. And then Thrasher came back over and her, Jen, Stacy, and Jenn Johnson and I started watching Lord of the Rings - Stacy and Jenn left at some point but Ervin, Thrash and I watched all three movies, extended versions. We went to bed at 5:30 am. Woot. Then yesterday was church, yay Mercy House! (that's another entry for another day) and then L'ami went to Panera and on our way back we drove by the magnesium plant - it was all imploded in except for two sides of it and it was still smoldering a little bit. I looked online today for articles about it and we knew that they couldn't put it out with water but now I know that's b/c water actually makes it worse - and so they don't know yet how the fire started but there was a sprinkler system that made it bad - I guess it used to be a different warehouse or factory or something so that's why there were sprinklers, but they were told to cap them and they didn't - so someone prolly isn't gonna get any insurance coverage. hahahah! BURN! (literally ha) woot. YAY FIRE! okay um... yeah. I'm done I guess.
Friday we had to jog 1.5 miles in PE class woot. Um then I was done for the day and so I showered and Jen came up and we watched TV and then Thrasher and Megs came over, Stacy got home... we were going to watch a movie but we ended up just watching Jen and Megs wrestle on top of Thrasher and then we decided to go out to eat - woot Texas Roadhouse! Then afterwards Stacy and I went to see Shrek 2 in Reardon (the auditorium on campus) for free and that was fun... but the fun was only beginning! We walked out of the theatre and everyone was looking at this really bright white cloud and there were helicopters circling it. So we came back the apartment and there was a voice mail from the physical plant that said the Magnesium plant (about 15 blocks down) was exploding and that the city evacuated about 8,000 people. At this point AU didn't have to evacuate but if the wind changed we would have to - the fire itself wasn't a concern but while watching the news we learned that the fumes are toxic (even though AU told us they weren't) so Megs, Thrash, Amy, Ervin, Stacy and I evacuated to Megs' house in Indy just to be safe.
Since Ervin stole my paragraph, I'm stealing her pics and captions:
In this picture you can see where the building collapsed. The part that is still standing was holding blocks of pure magnesium, and by miracle only, did not catch on fire as well:
Yay for there only being 4 magnesium plants and Anderson's being the largest in the world and exploding! Funtime! Okay. chill. We came back Saturday afternoon, and on the way Jen got pulled over for speeding hahaha but no ticket. And then Thrasher came back over and her, Jen, Stacy, and Jenn Johnson and I started watching Lord of the Rings - Stacy and Jenn left at some point but Ervin, Thrash and I watched all three movies, extended versions. We went to bed at 5:30 am. Woot. Then yesterday was church, yay Mercy House! (that's another entry for another day) and then L'ami went to Panera and on our way back we drove by the magnesium plant - it was all imploded in except for two sides of it and it was still smoldering a little bit. I looked online today for articles about it and we knew that they couldn't put it out with water but now I know that's b/c water actually makes it worse - and so they don't know yet how the fire started but there was a sprinkler system that made it bad - I guess it used to be a different warehouse or factory or something so that's why there were sprinklers, but they were told to cap them and they didn't - so someone prolly isn't gonna get any insurance coverage. hahahah! BURN! (literally ha) woot. YAY FIRE! okay um... yeah. I'm done I guess.
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